InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Can't touch this"

Dr. Spencer Reid (thisiscalm) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2014-03-17 15:16:00

Entry tags:

artemis crock, bonnie bennett, data, elena gilbert, ianto jones, kitty pryde (aoa), piter de vries, rebecca crane, sam winchester, spencer reid, tieria erde, zatanna zatara

263 // audio
[ It's now or never and although he was hoping that some time would push that towards now rather than never, Reid really doesn't feel like he's ready. He feels raw and exhausted and although he's pushed himself to go out and get some clothes that aren't borrowed from Karev's closet, he's so not in a place where public announcements are possible.

But he has to. Now or never. Movements dull, he reaches for the communicator. ]

...░m back. [ A stretch of static-y silence. ] I'm so░▒y.

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	thisiscalm 2014-03-17 07:00 pm UTC (link)
	[ He draws a steadying breath. Okay. ] Her name's Maeve. Maeve Donovan. She's... a geneticist. [ He already said all this, didn't he? ] I sent her some fMRI scans to look at and she, uhm. She helped me get rid of the migraines. We started talking after that. Over the phone... once a week. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2014-03-17 07:03 pm UTC (link)
	[She reaches up, letting her fingers fall through his longer hair, still adjusting to that. Glad for him to be rid of migraines.] For how long? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2014-03-17 07:07 pm UTC (link)
	Ten months. [ Which is almost three times as much time as they've had. ] She... she had problems with a stalker and she didn't want me to get in trouble, so... she wouldn't let me help her. [ His voice chokes off at the end. If he had insisted... if he'd dug into it on his own, would things have been different? ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2014-03-17 07:10 pm UTC (link)
	[She's doing that math too, and reminding herself that they had more than a call once a week. They live together. God, they talked about children... Vaguely, but they did. It can't all be gone. She holds a little tighter.] Is that what happened? Her stalker? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2014-03-17 07:12 pm UTC (link)
	[ He nods, stiffly. Swallows. ] She killed her. Right in front of me. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2014-03-17 07:14 pm UTC (link)
	[Was not expecting the stalker to be a girl, but that is very far from the point. She holds him.] I'm sorry. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2014-03-17 07:22 pm UTC (link)
	Me too. [ There is some clinging. A lot of clinging, actually. ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2014-03-17 07:31 pm UTC (link)
	[Clinging is good. It's something at least.] I'm sure you did everything you could. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2014-03-17 07:33 pm UTC (link)
	[ He makes a noise that could be taken for amused if it wasn't so heartbreakingly sad. ] If I had, she'd still be alive now. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2014-03-17 07:35 pm UTC (link)
	You can't save everyone. ...Sometimes you don't even get to save the most important ones. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2014-03-17 07:37 pm UTC (link)
	Right now I don't feel like I can save anyone. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2014-03-17 07:52 pm UTC (link)
	[Softly.] I know. [Stroking his hair.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2014-03-17 07:54 pm UTC (link)
	[ He draws another shaky breath. Steadies himself. ] I'm sorry. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2014-03-17 07:55 pm UTC (link)
	Why? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2014-03-17 07:56 pm UTC (link)
	Because you deserve better than this. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2014-03-17 07:58 pm UTC (link)
	...You're back. For me that's a pretty great thing. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2014-03-17 08:00 pm UTC (link)
	[ Is he though? Did he really come back? ] I can't say it, but... [ But he's also not sure it hasn't changed. ] I just need time. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2014-03-17 08:01 pm UTC (link)
	...It? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2014-03-17 08:02 pm UTC (link)
	That I... you know.[ If he can't say it, he can't... say what it is. ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2014-03-17 08:17 pm UTC (link)
	That you...? [Honestly confused for the moment and then it clicks.] That you love me. [And it hurts again. Because before she could have just written it off as not wanting to tell her before he was honest about everything. But now? Now he's telling her he can't admit to loving her?] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2014-03-17 08:27 pm UTC (link)
	It's not that I don't, it's just... [ Deep breath. ] ...trying to fit a year and a half into what we had here. Have. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2014-03-17 08:29 pm UTC (link)
	You need time. [Repeating his line. That past tense hurt. It was only 5 days for her.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2014-03-17 08:29 pm UTC (link)
	[ He nods against her, muffling a whimper. ] I'm sorry. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2014-03-17 08:32 pm UTC (link)
	Don't be. ...You didn't do anything wrong. [Holding him closer.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2014-03-17 08:36 pm UTC (link)
	[ How is she so amazing? Why couldn't he just have stayed here? ] ...I don't know what to do. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)