InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I'M NOT CRAZY, YOU'RE CRAZY!"

deanna troi (counselled) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2014-01-13 08:47:00

Entry tags:

data, deanna troi, jack harkness, james watson, jean-luc picard, kitty pryde (aoa), korra, number one, spencer reid, will riker, yuuki kuran

day 254 | action;
A long time had passed since Deanna had felt the distinct lack of her empathic powers. She had only felt this sort of emptiness once in her life before today and it was no better now than it had been then. Last time, she had thought she would forever be without them and felt as though she had lost a limb, but she was hopeful that this time she could figure out what had caused her to lose them in an effort to get them back. At least she had experience in dealing with this feeling. Not that this would help her much, but it was a start. It was better than nothing.

Unsure where she was or how she had gotten here, and feeling as lost and alone as she had ever felt in her life, Deanna wandered around the area. She passed what looked like a park of some sort, a library, and something that looked like a residential building. That seemed a little more permanent than she had been hoping for. She'd listened to the welcome message, but it definitely hadn't seemed like something the Federation would condone, which meant that she had been kidnapped somehow. That wasn't a good thing for many reasons and she didn't like to think of what Captain Picard might do when he found out, let alone Will Riker. It was inevitable that one of them would and she doubted either would take it well.

Still, being here was an opportunity to learn about a new location and Deanna intended to do as much information-gathering as she could despite the situation she had recently been exposed to and the one she was in now. What she really needed was a way to contact Starfleet, if not Captain Picard himself. She had found something that seemed like a communicator, but without having someone she trusted verify it, she was hesitant to use it. Whatever the case, she much preferred to make contact on her own terms and that included being in possession of her empathic abilities. So for now she kept searching the area. It wouldn't do her any good to stay in one place.

[ ooc: deanna can be found anywhere in the dome today, but she starts out in sector 2. ]

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1stofficer
2014-01-15 12:03 am UTC (link)

"It feels different, because you're here."

He believed in her immensely, and not once - in any of the attempts to trap him - had Deanna felt to him the way she did now, as real, as crucial. She wasn't pushing him unnaturally or using her closeness to manipulate him--he'd change his mind if it seemed like her attitude had tranformed entirely, but for now he believed in her with all of his heart.

He had to. If he didn't have her as his anchor, he'd have to doubt everything.

"It feels more like what happened on Alpha Onias III. Everything there was perfect, like a holodeck simulation. Last time...last time everything felt real until it wasn't. Both and neither, until I didn't know who to trust, or what was true any more. If there's more to this then we'll know soon enough."

That, at least, he honestly believed.

The thought of waiting to see if her abilities returned was frustrating. Part of him wanted to avoid letting her out of his sight while they couldn't communicate, and the rest - the Starfleet side of him - knew that he had to take that plunge. Wait--

"They gave us communicators. Have you tested yours?"

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counselled
2014-01-15 05:47 am UTC (link)

Deanna understood what he meant about Alpha Onias III. While she hadn't been there with him during that time and didn't know exactly what he had been through, she could understand what he was referencing. That time he had been trapped in a perfect world, a simulation as he said. And then there was the time he'd been captured. Even through all of their efforts to get him back, through all of the determination to get him back, Deanna had experienced a moment of fear that they might not succeed. She'd been afraid that something would happen to her and she wouldn't be able to reach him. If that ever happened, she didn't know what she would do, especially now, as his wife and not just his counselor.

But they were here together, their memories intact, and that was what Deanna was using to gather strength for them both. Even without her empathic powers, she could still be of use, to him and Captain Picard, and that was what she intended to do. She squeezed Will's arm gently, reassuringly, and gave him a smile. It was small but no less gentle and warm than she usually gave him.

"If I can sense anything--" Meaning, if she gets her empathy back. "--I'll let you know." Assuming they would at least end up in the same area to rest, she had a feeling he would figure it out as soon as she knew, whether or not she said anything about it.

His question gets a slight shake of her head. "No. I wanted to see what I could find first, without turning to a device I wasn't familiar with." No Geordi or Data to run it by first and without knowing anyone here, she hadn't seen any reason to try yet. Now with Will here, she has a feeling they'll be testing these out together. "Would you like to try them now? We might be able to use them to contact each other should we get separated."

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1stofficer
2014-01-15 06:05 pm UTC (link)

Will was struck by the desire to be the first thing she heard, when she said that. He reached out to her again - Imzadi - and reminded himself to keep doing it, over the next few hours, days--he'd do whatever he could do. It reassured him too. If she did recover her empathy, he'd know she was real. It wasn't that he was holding out until then - he pushed himself to believe it - but it was a flaw in their reality that he couldn't ignore, no matter how well meaning. She probably felt the same way: how could this be reality if she couldn't hear him? And as her husband, there was a rush of protectiveness that the realisation earned him. He had to set his own doubts aside for her, on the off chance that this was real. He couldn't let her down. And his actions so far had been doing just that.

It was decided, then.

"The least we can do is listen to what's out there, make contact if the locals are friendly."

He turned away from the thought for a moment, turning on the bench to look at her, his hand moving to her hip, the other settling against her cheek. "We're still together, Deanna. As long as we have each other, everything will be alright. We'll find a way out of here."

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counselled
2014-01-15 11:29 pm UTC (link)

Somewhere in the back of her mind, Deanna hoped he would be the first person she heard or sensed, assuming she would ever get her abilities back. Even if they were to split up for a short time to cover more ground, she had a feeling they would still be spending a lot of time together, time they could spend working on those powers of hers. And if he were there to help her, she knew she could manage. He knew what she'd been through recently and how she had reacted to it; she knew how all of that had affected him as well. Will was right. They could do this together. They had to.

If this was reality -- and she would agree if she knew what he was thinking -- they had to work together in whatever way possible.

Deanna nodded in response. "I don't think we're the first group of new prisoners. If that's true, we may be able to find others in a similar situation and they might be agreeable and willing to help." Like Kitty.

No matter how hopeless the situation seemed, she wasn't willing to give up. Not yet. For a moment, she closed her eyes at the touch to her cheek, leaning into it as she lifted her other hand to tap at a nerve cluster behind her carotid artery, using a Betazoid technique called plexing. The result helped her calm down even more. Once she felt less stressed and more able to deal with the situation, Deanna finally opened her eyes again and placed her hand over his on her cheek, smiling fondly. Her other hand migrated to his side so she could feel him where she couldn't sense him. He was her rock, her support and comfort. What would she ever do without him? Hopefully, she would never have to find out.

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1stofficer
2014-01-17 11:01 pm UTC (link)

That was the point, wasn't it, of marriage? To know everything about each other, face every challenge together--

He stayed put, content to watch; he noticed her finding her center, moment to moment, and when she opened her eyes at last and smiled--well, the sun may as well have peeked in through the clouds above them. She could still smile despite everything. That was his girl.

"You're right. We can't be the only ones who want to get out of here."

He'd look at the communicator, introduce himself to people, poke around, but if it came down to it being himself and Deanna against this place, then that was what he was going to do. For the time being, he leaned in, and brushed the lightest peck of a kiss against his wife's mouth, retreating to look her in the eyes once more.

"We were ready for our next big adventure together. We've just gone a little off piste. If the crew of the Voyager could get home, then so can we, and the Titan will be waiting for us."

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counselled
2014-01-18 03:36 am UTC (link)

Marriage was an important part of a person's life, an important step in their lives, one they'd finally chosen to take. It had taken a long time, years and years of friendship after a very start-and-stop relationship, and on some level, Deanna was convinced the metaphasic radiation from the Ba'ku planet in the Briar Patch had played a part in getting them back together, but she wasn't going to complain about it. She had loved him for a long time and somewhere over the last few years, the two of them had finally agreed to put their personal relationship over their careers, or at least to string them along side-by-side rather than sacrificing each other for a career and certain positions. Coming to that conclusion had taken them a long time and part of Deanna though it had been too long, but what could be done about it now but to enjoy the time they had left?

Deanna tilted her head up to accept the kiss, happy for even that much affection at this point. Every little thing he was doing went a long way towards convincing her that they were both real and that this situation wasn't a simulation. She nodded in response, her thumb brushing against the back of his hand. They would have more farewells to say and people to mourn, but the Titan would be the next chapter in their lives, a chapter they were long overdue to begin.

"We might be able to think of this as an intermediate adventure," she suggested gently. "It isn't what we were expecting any more than the Enterprise's last mission, but... maybe this will turn out better. It could be a learning experience."

She might not be feeling like her normal self, might not be able to feel as optimistic as usual, but she was going to try. She would put on that front for everyone else, at least until she and her husband were somewhere more enclosed, a private apartment or room where she could further mourn the losses they'd suffered recently.

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1stofficer
2014-01-18 03:43 pm UTC (link)

In some ways, perhaps that was what had been tying him to the Enterprise for so long. He hadn't been able to leave; his reasons had become ever more complex over time, starting with his father and becoming things more difficult to define in those terms such as loyalty, but the truth was that he hadn't been able to accept a command until he had been accepting it with her at his side, both of them in agreement, both of the moving on together. Both of them happy.

And they may not have been as young as they were, but they still had the rest of their lives laid out before them. Perhaps it wasn't too late to have children? But bringing it up--that was a challenge they had yet to face. After everything she'd been through with Ian, she might not want to, and Will would be ready if that was the case.

But for now, their future was something to be set aside, their more immediate future to be faced immediately.

Later--later he'd worry about accommodation. He'd have to ask about that.

Pragmatism. Orders. "We'll take half the dome each, heading in opposite directions along the barrier. I'll cover the ground you've already been over, so that we're both familiar with it, and we'll meet back here."

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counselled
2014-01-18 06:18 pm UTC (link)

It would make sense that they'd both had so much tying them to the Enterprise and thus to each other. Deanna had felt that tug when Thomas had left for another posting, yet another version of the man she loved who had placed a career over her. And yet, hadn't she more or less done the same in that instance? It was hard to sort out while it was happening and now so many years had gone by that Deanna wasn't sure how to begin to sort it all out. Maybe she didn't need to anymore. She and Will were happy and that was all that mattered.

If she knew what he was thinking, she would be quick to reassure him. Having children was something she very much wanted, even with the uncertainty of their new posting on the Titan. Ian Andrew Troi II had been as much her child as any biological one and even though the circumstances of his birth had been unknown at first, she had felt a maternal pull towards him. His life, his death, had been so quick and sudden that she'd barely had time to properly register what was happening, let alone how to handle it. And while enough time had passed that she didn't look back on it with sorrow, she thought she might be able to manage being a proper mother someday.

Someday, but not here, not in a prison.

Besides that, she knew her mother would never let her live it down if she didn't have at least one other child. Lwaxana was always going on about grandchildren. The faster they had at least one, the happier she would be and the quicker she would get off Deanna's back about it. But that could be dealt with later. Right now, she focused on what her husband was saying. It made sense and maybe if they both had something to do and focus on, they could manage better.

So she nodded firmly in response. "All right. If one of us isn't back by the end of the day, we'll use this--" She tapped her headset communicator. "--to try to contact each other." Hopefully it wouldn't come to that, but at this point it would be worth mentioning every contingency plan.

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