InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Hear the voice of Thanatos!"

Stefan Salvatore (sanguino) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2013-12-02 21:03:00

Entry tags:

caroline forbes, elena gilbert, eric northman, rose, stefan salvatore

Day 248 - Action - Open to All
[Morning - Stefan's Bedroom - Closed to Caroline]

[It hits him at all at once, the memories of the past months rolling into his brain. It's overwhelming, as they overlay with the memories of his life here, but one thing in particular sticks out among the rest.

Because it feels endless, constant, and horrific. The agony of being trapped in a small space, drowning over and over, the water filling up his lungs and sending him spiraling into death.

He sits up straight in bed, his entire body soaked in a thin layer of sweat, his heart beating so fast he feels like it's going to burst from his chest. He sucks in a shuddering breath, and even though the air goes into his lungs, he still feels like he's drowning there beneath the water in that dark, dark, safe.]

[Afternoon - Blood Shack - Open to All]

[Alcohol is the only thing that numbs the pain, calms his nerves, and he's certainly had his fair share today. It's easier not to think under the weight of intoxication, to hide from the confusion and the disorientation of layered memories, good and bad, with an unsteadiness that he's in control of, that he caused himself.

It's the only semblance of control he's had since he woke up that morning.]

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amplified
2013-12-03 04:43 am UTC (link)

[ Caroline is normally a pretty deep sleeper, especially when she's snuggled up to Stefan close, after some really great sex. It's easy to sleep deeply when all the things that go bump in Caroline's night aren't in this underwater prison with her.

But it's a bit tricky to sleep when the person who you're sleeping with suddenly thrashes awake and sits up, the whole bedding shaking with the movement. It takes a moment for Caroline to get her bearings, for her to register the ragged and frantic pace of Stefan's breathing or the way the bed beneath him, next to her is damp from sweat. And when her hand moves to rest on his back, it's slick and warm, too warm.

She moves to sit up a little, her eyes struggling to focus through sleep and the darkness of the room.] Stefan? [ It's then she hears his heart hammering in his chest, her eyes widening as she truly sits up, sensing something is off. A nightmare. She knows how brutal they can be but she imagines Stefan's might make hers look like a trip to Disney World.] What's going on?

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sanguino
2013-12-04 02:11 am UTC (link)

[He can't answer right away, partially because he barely hears her over the rush of water he thinks is in his ears, and also due to the fact that he still feels like he's not getting any air.

Slowly, though, the sensations start to fade a bit, though his eyes are still wild as he begins to feel the mattress beneath his body instead of steel, realize that Caroline's beside him instead of nothing.

His hands come up to his face, hiding behind them, the sounds coming from his mouth still frightened and desperate, the memories refusing to relinquish their hold.]

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amplified
2013-12-04 02:16 am UTC (link)

[ His silence is unnerving and it's enough to wake her up the rest of the way. It must have been some nightmare to keep it's claws in him this wrong. Or perhaps he's still asleep. She moves closer to him, carefully and slowly moving to run her hand up his neck and over his hair, leaning over so she can see his face.] Stefan? [ There's obviously concern etched onto her face as he seems to still be panicking.] It's okay. You're okay. It was just a dream. You're safe, you're awake. [ She moves onto her knees beside him, trying to urge his face to turn towards hers.] I promise you're fine now. I'm here.

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sanguino
2013-12-05 06:56 pm UTC (link)

[The first sense of touch has his entire body tensing, but its the softness of her touch that keeps him from immediately recoiling, instead, bringing his hands away from his face to look at her, his eyes wild even as he tries to see her.]

Caroline?

[It's as if he's trying to decide if she's real or an illusion. He remembers seeing things, illusions of his own making to hide from the pain, but that was before he'd been let out. Now it was just the water he saw when he wasn't prepared, choking him, suffocating him.

He shakes his head, looking back down between his knees. He's still breathing heavily, but at least he seems somewhat lucid.]

It wasn't just a dream.

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amplified
2013-12-05 07:09 pm UTC (link)

[ She starts at the look in his eyes, although it shouldn't be such a shock, not when he's had a nightmare. However, when he claims that it wasn't a dream, she looks at him--]

I know it feels real but it's not. It was just a nightmare. [ She leans in to press a kiss to his temple, gently.] You're okay now. [ Her hand slides up and down his back, soothingly.] Do you want to talk about it?

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sanguino
2013-12-07 02:32 am UTC (link)

No, it wasn't.

[He wished it was, but something about it had been too real. Still, his breathing started to slow as he tried to focus on the sensation of her gentle touches.]

It was real. They were...memories.

[Or they had been for the most part. He knew that what he'd just suffered from had been a panic attack as the result of those memories, even while asleep.]

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	amplified 2013-12-07 05:36 am UTC (link)
	Do you mean... [ This had happened to her before too. Just once. She looks at him with greater concern.] What do you remember? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	sanguino 2013-12-08 02:40 am UTC (link)
	I don't even know where to start. [His hand comes up to his face, fingers pressing into his temples. It hurts to think, to breathe.] Jeremy, Elena's humanity, Prom, Graduation, Silas. [His hands clench into fists at his name, so hard that his fingernails cut into his palm, drawing blood.] And then there's more. So much more. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	blood shack, baby blood shack! XD justexisting 2013-12-05 09:21 pm UTC (link)
	[The shack was one of her usual haunts and more often than not, Rose went for the blood that was on tap. It tasted better than the blood bags but perhaps not as good as the real thing. Rose is currently at the bar, occasionally sipping from a glass of O negative when she notices Stefan looking a little worse than usual.] Stefan. You okay? (Reply to this) (Thread)

	justexisting 2013-12-07 04:27 pm UTC (link)
	[She gives him a small smile regardless, hoping that it would help in some way, even just a little bit.] Ah. It hasn't happened to me yet but I can understand how difficult it could be to be overwhelmed with a sudden rush of memories. [Rose sips from her blood.] I take it that they were the bad kind? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	justexisting 2013-12-10 10:08 pm UTC (link)
	Okay. I understand. [She eyes his half-filled glass for a moment before taking another from her own.] Need a top up? I think a few glasses of something strong could definitely help. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)