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Sam Winchester ([info]tallerthanthou) wrote in [info]marinanova,
@ 2013-09-16 17:49:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags::mingle, bak chang, bro strider, buffy summers, charlotte charles, daniel osbourne, dirk strider, elena gilbert, helen magnus, hikaru hitachiin, ianto jones, jack harkness, jake english, james watson, jean-luc picard, jessica hamby, lacus clyne, lelouch vi britannia, lyle dylandy, martha jones, miranda lotto, rebekah mikealson, rogue, sam winchester, sookie stackhouse, sougo okita, terry mcginnis, yuuki kuran, zero kiryuu

[Day 237] Relationship Issues Group Therapy mingle
[The relationships group therapy attendees will all get a message telling them to report to The Winery in Sector 2. Sadly for them the alcohol is locked away, but there is an assortment of food and non-alcoholic beverages along the bar for consumption. Many of the tables have been cleared out and the chairs rearranged into a circle with booths along the edges for more intimate therapeutic discussions.

And don't forget the party favors! The wardens have left some helpful games and activity ideas to get them started. There's a bowl full of folded slips of papers with various questions.]


How many people have you slept with? Do you regret any of them? Why?

How many relationships have you been in? Why do you think that is?

What was your longest relationship? Most serious? Shortest? Most casual?

Why did your last relationship end?

What do you look for in another person?

Are you happy?

Who is your ideal mate?

What was the biggest problem/complication in your previous or current relationship?

What do you need out of a relationship? Sexual experience?

How long have you been single between relationships? Why do you think it was so long/short?

What is the best way to break up with someone?

Do you believe in soul mates? Do you think you have or will meet yours?

Would you rather spend your life with one important person or several acquaintances? Why?

Are there any similarities between the people you've been with? If so, what are they?

Do you have trouble making choices? Give examples.

Do you think with your heart, your head, or your genitalia? Are you satisfied with this behavior?

Do you have trouble relating to people? If so, in what way?



[In addition to the questions there are cards with various prompts. One explains the game, I Never. Another suggests people pair off and roleplay they are in a relationship and then deal with various scenarios like what do to if one partner flirts with someone else or comes home late without calling.]


Who should do the dishes?

When is it appropriate to discuss getting blue bands/having sex?

When should you move in together if ever?

What do you do if you suspect the other is keeping secrets?

What do you say if your partner comes home with a haircut you don't like?

How do you respond if you find your partner crying?

How do you decide how to spend your time together?

Your partner's family doesn't like you. What do you do?

One of you is critically hurt. How does the other respond?

Your friends don't like the person you're with. What do you say to them? What do you say to your partner?

One of you wants sexual relations and the other does not. How do you balance your needs?

How do you communicate your desire for a particular sexual desire to your partner?

It is your partner's birthday. How do you prepare?

At a party your partner leaves you to socialize with others. How does this make you feel and how do you respond?

How do you show your affection?


(OOC: Mingle style. You are not limited to the questions, scenarios, or games listed above. Assume there are more! I recycled a lot of this from last time so if someone was in this group twice they can feel free to notice, but assume there are lots of questions and prompts, so they probably didn't see them all.)



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[info]matter
2013-09-26 09:35 am UTC (link)
[ It's true, and Elena's wont to agree so easily, even though she does. It takes her a moment of quiet contemplation - ] I guess I feel like I can be happy. After my parents and Jenna... my Uncle John.... they died, and - it was my fault. [ Tears well in her eyes. She didn't mean to say this much, but somehow she doesn't mind as much as she should. ] They died so I could live. [ She resents that, and it shows. ] My life should have ended and it didn't. [ and now it has; she's a vampire. ] I want to be happy... [ She shakes her head. She just doesn't know how, not now, not after everything. ]

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[info]lifelines
2013-09-26 04:15 pm UTC (link)
I suppose it's one of those things we have to come to accept, that someone else would freely give of themselves for our own good.

[ her voice is soft, suggesting that she hasn't quite gotten to the acceptance stage. she's still working on it, working on understanding and dealing with ashley's death. her daughter had given her life so helen could live and every day she wonders if it could have been different. it should have been she who died that day. instead, it was her daughter, her only child. ]

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[info]matter
2013-10-06 09:42 am UTC (link)
[ she doesn't want to accept it. she remembers fighting with stefan at the lakehouse, how she called it a disagreement that she made that deal with elijah. how rose told her she was choosing her easiest option. (and maybe she was right, and she doesn't blame stefan for wanted to save her.) it's after a moment of quiet contemplation -- of uncertainty, because it can't be about acceptance for elena, not now, not ever; she knows people will risk themselves for her, and that they die, and she'll do anything to not let that happen. ] I'm not worth all that. I don't -- want -- to be saved.

[ she looks down, as if this is a point of sadness. and it is, when she's lived through so much and lost... so many people. ] But I don't want to die either.

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[info]lifelines
2013-10-06 06:15 pm UTC (link)
[ helen has a difficult time accepting it herself, mostly because she would give quite a lot to shorten her longevity, had even nearly caused a catastrophic event in the search for a "cure" to her longevity. the universe had a way of dangling death in front of her face and then snatching it away at the last moment. she'd nearly died countless times, had experienced complete brain death more than once, and survived every time. to her, as she had once put it to jean-luc, loss is as constant a companion as life. ]

The people who care for you would argue that. I know they have for me. But despite everything, part of living is learning to take control of situations, to fight back when you can and flee when you can't.

[ don't become like she is, elena. don't become bitter and lonely the way she has. ]

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[info]matter
2013-10-07 11:12 am UTC (link)
[ elena knows this. lived this. she's quiet for a moment, looks away and down. helen's right; the last thing she wants is to be lonely or bitter. she's taken whatever happiness has been afforded to her. took her misery and made it something else. ] I just don't want anyone to get hurt because of me. [ she exhales. ] But it's... inevitable. [ with their lives, with what they all are. ] They always do. [ so she just has to keep fighting.

at least now she can. more than she had before.
]

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[info]lifelines
2013-10-07 12:36 pm UTC (link)
[ this is something she understands so well, better than she's letting on just yet. for a moment, she's quiet, but then she reaches out to place a hand on elena's shoulder. ]

I've lost so many people over the course of my life, many I wished I could've saved. One in particular... I miss more than the others. [ she swallows hard. even speaking vaguely about ashley is difficult. ] She was very important to me and she died to save my life. Not a day goes by that I don't miss her, but I know now that I have to use the gift she gave me. Whether she's physically here or not, she's still very much a part of me, a part of everything I do. And as much as I miss her, I can't regret what she did or I'll regret the person that incident has turned me into.

[ and she can't, for a variety of reasons, regret who she is. it's part of what makes her so strong, what has gotten her through so much in her long life. ]

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[info]matter
2013-10-07 01:30 pm UTC (link)
[ it's something elena's thought about every day -- living. living for the people who gave so much. living for the lives they've lost. living and dying on her terms. helen's words might as well be her own, or should be. the conviction in them, the faith in them; elena wishes she could live up to it. she tries.

she doesn't want to regret the person she's turned into. what she is now, vampire or human. what would the point be, to hold onto the choices she'll never make?
]

I'm sorry you've lost so many people. [ sorry she's lost someone so important to her. elena knows how that feels, in her own way. thinks of jenna. she holds helen's gaze for a moment, sighs. ] Sometimes I feel like I'm mourning myself.

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[info]lifelines
2013-10-07 01:40 pm UTC (link)
Then mourn and move on. But don't linger. [ she purses her lips for a moment, her hand squeezing elena's shoulder before lets it fall back to her lap. ] You still have a life to live. Don't become like me. [ don't live as long as she has and decide to curl in upon yourself because it's easier than being attached to people, easier than loving. and she hopes elena never truly understands what she means. ]

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[info]matter
2013-10-07 01:53 pm UTC (link)
[ there's no time to mourn, not for elena, not for her friends, for jeremy. because of everything that happens; it piles on. because elena needs to forget her grief before it heals to survive it.

no one's ever told her something so simple, so forgiving of something so human. no one's ever told her to let herself mourn as if it's okay to feel it all. or maybe just not when she could believe them. (she's never thought it was okay to feel so much, to care so much, to let the grief in or let it explode out. her capacity and compassion has become a strength as much as a liability.)

elena blinks as she considers this, truly considers this for the first time.

then she realizes what helen's said about herself.
]

And you don't?

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[info]lifelines
2013-10-07 02:02 pm UTC (link)
[ helen gives a small smile, one that might be tinged with sadness if one stopped to really look, and finds herself once again speaking the words she spoke to jean-luc not that long ago, the best explanation for the person she has become. ]

When you live as long as I have and see the things I have seen... loss becomes as constant a companion as life. You learn how to cope as best you can and you move on. [ her coping mechanism is to curl in, to isolate herself. ]

Before I came here, I had lost everyone I ever loved. [ that's the closest she's come to admitting her true feelings for jean-luc picard and her eyes stray very, very briefly in his direction. ] Life can be difficult and I live mine the way I have to. [ in order to survive, but will wouldn't say she truly lives. perhaps the dome is changing that in her as well.

or perhaps she's simply had too much spiked tea. ]

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[info]matter
2013-10-07 02:17 pm UTC (link)
Alone. [ she all but said it in so many words. elena merely confirms it.

helen has lived, she's lost, and now she's alone. she wears it like armor. if she could grasp the idea of living indefinitely, maybe elena would try to imagine what she'd be like in a century. in two. if she'd be like helen, isolated by choice. stefan, constantly striving to feel human. or damon. resentful that he can't stop feeling.
] How is that moving on?

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[info]lifelines
2013-10-07 02:26 pm UTC (link)
[ helen will neither confirm nor deny it, but elena's hit it on the head. she's offered her friendship to a great many people here, her wisdom and experience as well, but she considers herself truly close to only two so far, outside of james. perhaps three. rose is the one she is slowly getting to know. rebekah is the closest thing she's had to a best friend in nearly two centuries. and jean-luc? ...well, there's more between them than either of them will admit.

she's isolated, certainly, but no longer alone. a social creature such as she cannot live as she wishes she could.

and so she cracks the smallest of smiles. ]


I never said I was particularly good at it. [ wanna take a guess as to why she's in this therapy group? ] I suppose I'm a bit of a work in progress.

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[info]matter
2013-10-07 02:32 pm UTC (link)
[ elena smiles at that because she's not particularly good at it either. she glances down in her lap, toys with her communicator. ] I think we all are. Not just here. [ she takes a cursory look around the room. ] Everywhere. If there's one thing prison has taught me it's that every dimension's a work in progress.

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[info]lifelines
2013-10-07 02:57 pm UTC (link)
[ helen's eyes follow, once again landing on jean-luc, and they remain for a time before she turns back to elena. ]

I suppose we do all have our own problems to work out, don't we?

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[info]matter
2013-10-07 03:14 pm UTC (link)
[ this time, elena notices helen's fixation. it's kind of hard to miss. she's never met jean-luc picard, but he's familiar, and she looks between them before helen's attention returns to her. ] Plenty. You know him. [ it's both a statement and a question. ]

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[info]lifelines
2013-10-07 03:23 pm UTC (link)
[ pointedly not looking at jean-luc now and pushing aside her feelings on the subject. ]

He's a very good friend of mine. I've a few here who are rather determined to get to know me.

[ nothing to see here, elena. nothing at all. ]

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[info]matter
2013-10-07 03:27 pm UTC (link)
[ or nothing helen wants anyone to see. even see herself. elena gives helen a pointed look in reaction to her answer. ] Do you not want him to know you?

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[info]lifelines
2013-10-07 03:35 pm UTC (link)
I think you're smart enough to figure out what I mean.

[ she wants him to know, wants to know him in return... but she's terrified of losing him. it's her big weakness. losing people scares her. ]

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[info]matter
2013-10-07 03:40 pm UTC (link)
[ she is, and that's why she says nothing for a moment, simply glances over to jean-luc again. ] You know, we're all afraid. There's always a reason not to do something, to... want it. [ elena would know. ]

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[info]lifelines
2013-10-07 11:35 pm UTC (link)
And yet...

[ her voice sounds expectant. there's more to that statement than what elena's saying. ]

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[info]matter
2013-10-07 11:46 pm UTC (link)
And yet you're sitting over here instead of over there. [ it's said with its own kind of expectancy and encouragement towards helen. she doesn't mean to address her own problems, not at all. but maybe despite it all, she could be. she wishes it were so simple. ]

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[info]lifelines
2013-10-07 11:52 pm UTC (link)
And you're encouraging me? I see. [ she shakes her head in amusement. what is her life? she does, however, stand. ]

I have enjoyed our talk. Perhaps we can both learn from this.

[ learn from her life, elena, and grow in a different way. ]

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[info]matter
2013-10-08 12:02 am UTC (link)
[ she smiles, and then for a moment it softens into something just as sincere. ] Thank you. [ she means for the talk -- for the advice. for the understanding. ] Go get him.

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[info]lifelines
2013-10-08 11:12 pm UTC (link)
[ helen takes a deep breath, nods once in response to elena -- she will always be happy to offer her experience to those who might want or need it -- and heads off in the direction of her romantic interest. if elena's paying attention, she might catch the looks passed between them. ]

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