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Lacus Clyne ([info]fields_of_hope) wrote in [info]marinanova,
@ 2013-08-12 10:54:00

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Entry tags:lacus clyne, sam merlotte, sougo okita, tyki mikk

[Action/Voice]
((OOC: Otherwise entitled 'Sougo and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.' Anyone who notices Lacus' very conspicuous absence is welcome to call her or drop by her place in the afternoon, though they might have to contend with a grumpy roommate who's having the worst day ever!))
***

[Waking in an unfamiliar place isn't half as troubling as knowing that she can't, at the moment, leave under her own power. Gingerly, Lacus assesses herself, grateful for the bandages on her neck and less so for the tender side of her face that is doubtless an ugly, mottled purple. Even less encouraging is how weak those few moments of movement have left her. Coordinators are quick to heal, but still human.]

[A quick assessment of the morning's postings tells her that the visitors from yesterday were indeed temporary. If that's in any way a relief, it's tinged with bitterness nonetheless. Indignation for this place and its constant manipulations will have to wait, however, as she has calls to make. It won't do for people to worry that she too has vanished without a trace.]

[Voice/Private - Sougo Okita]
Sougo? [Immediately, she regrets making the call herself. Her voice is weak and thin, no way he won't worry. She hates to do this after he's lost his sister. But surely Data's close by, she trusts that he wouldn't leave her alone like this, so he can help her explain things.]

[Voice/Private - Sam Merlotte]
[She waits until afternoon to call Sam, when perhaps she could sound a bit less upsetting. Unfortunately she can't muster much more energy and so probably sounds just as worrying, but she can't wait any longer before she's late for her shift.] Sam? I'm sorry, but [she has to take a breath before she can go on] I won't be able to come to work for a few days.


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[info]fields_of_hope
2013-08-15 10:23 pm UTC (link)
I don't...

[She technically doesn't know, but that's not the whole truth. Even if it's only an educated guess, she doesn't feel right hiding it.]

Maybe. Tyki found me right after. He asked me who did it, and I told him. He looked more angry than I've ever seen him... and then he left. [Left her there, bleeding to death.] He might have done something.

[Lacus' voice gets tearful just thinking about it. She wouldn't want to be responsible for anyone getting hurt, which is why she didn't go to the hospital as she maybe should have. What Tyki may have done to Spike... she can't take knowing that it was because of her.]

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[info]sadistfaction
2013-08-15 10:34 pm UTC (link)
[Ah, Tyki. Hearing that name automatically makes him feel a little disgruntled.]

What an asshole. He should have taken you to get some medical attention or something straight away.

[He softens up when he notices that this is upsetting her.]

... I guess it doesn't matter so much, because you're being taken care of. Maybe it's better that that guy didn't do anything. [Since he could never trust Tyki to do the right thing.]

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[info]fields_of_hope
2013-08-15 10:40 pm UTC (link)
[Lacus tries to be subtle about wiping a tear away.] Mm, maybe.

That's when I called Data. I knew he had medical training and would know what to do.

[A short but significant pause.] I thought of calling you, but I... [She trails off, belatedly uncertain she should have started that sentence.]

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[info]sadistfaction
2013-08-15 10:54 pm UTC (link)
Hm?

[He was going to assume it was what she had said not too long ago -- she wanted him to spend all the time he had with his sister. But it didn't seem like that's where she was going with... whatever it was she had started to say.

He stares, waiting for her to finish.]

But...?

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[info]fields_of_hope
2013-08-15 11:01 pm UTC (link)
[It was partly because of Mitsuba, but to claim that as the sole reason would be entirely dishonest. Her first thought on thinking she might be about to bleed to death wasn't quite that selfless.]

But-- [She shifts closer and exhales slowly.] I didn't want you to have to watch me die. [Maybe it sounds selfless. It wasn't. Lacus didn't want to see him in pain because she didn't think she could handle it. Guilt, plain and simple.]

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[info]sadistfaction
2013-08-15 11:25 pm UTC (link)
[If Sougo looks shocked, that's because he is. His eyes even start to water a little. That was not something that crossed his mind at all. God, that would have been terrible.

He lies quietly for a moment, not sure of what to say.]

Um. [He puts his hands over his face.] Yeah... That. Yes.

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[info]fields_of_hope
2013-08-15 11:33 pm UTC (link)
[His reaction isn't far from what she expected on one level, yet very far apart on another. She is always unnerved when he goes silent.]

[For a moment she looks on, hoping he might continue. When he doesn't, she finds herself on the verge of crying again.]

Don't shut me out, Sougo. Whatever you're thinking, I want to hear it.

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[info]sadistfaction
2013-08-15 11:52 pm UTC (link)
[He takes a deep breath, looking up at the ceiling with his arms at his sides.]

That... that was a frightening thought. The visual I had even more frightening. And the thought of... of being completely alone again. The feeling that I shouldn't bother trying to make friends, or want to keep anyone around because they're always the ones that leave me somehow...

[He lets out a sigh.]

Selfish. I'm always selfish. I disgust myself.

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[info]fields_of_hope
2013-08-16 12:00 am UTC (link)
[Lacus replaces the bandage on her neck because she knows it must be unpleasant to look at. Once it's secure, she leans against Sougo once again and takes his hand.]

It's not a horrible thing to want to shield yourself from pain. I've done the same thing, lately. [Not an easy thing for Lacus to admit, and her soft tone should convey that.]

I would be sad if you cut yourself off from me because you're afraid of hurting whenever we happen to part. I'll hurt too, but nothing could ever hurt me so much that I'd regret knowing you.

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[info]sadistfaction
2013-08-16 12:17 am UTC (link)
I'm not going anywhere.

[He's felt the need to clarify that. At this point, the last thing he wanted to do was to break his attachment to Lacus. They worked too hard at getting to this point in their friendship.]

I just want it to stop being like this. I'm tired of loneliness and crying and everything. But I don't want to stop being friends with you.

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[info]fields_of_hope
2013-08-16 12:29 am UTC (link)
[She never truly thought he would leave her behind entirely, though she wouldn't put it past Sougo to pull back, little by little. He's so guarded as it is.]

[He's not wrong when it comes to loneliness and the way it fills up your entire life. Maybe it's not quite the same, but it reminds her of years ago, a story she somehow feels she should share.]

When my fiance and I were first engaged, he came to visit me frequently. My father was always gone and my mother had long since passed away, and it was just me in our large house. Athrun knew what it was like to be alone too, since his mother had died in the war and his father was not the warmest of men. I think he knew how alone I felt. That's why he made Pink for me. And many other haros after that. [Why else would someone make twenty bouncing, talking robots for someone?]

[A glance up at Sougo, and a little smile. Yes, she's going somewhere with this.] The haros couldn't solve all my problems, they couldn't bring my mother back or end the war, but they did make me smile. And somehow things seemed just a little bit easier.

I can't bring your sister to you, or promise that I won't get lost in the dimensional stabilizer, or make things here any easier. But if there's anything I can do to make you smile, I want you to tell me. Even sad things seem a little bit better if you have something to smile about.

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[info]sadistfaction
2013-08-16 01:16 am UTC (link)
[He puts his other hand on top of hers.]

I don't know what to tell you.

[He was dreading telling her this, but it had to be said.]

Most of the things that make me smile are things you don't like. They're not things that make me happy, and I'm not proud of them, but they're a source of entertainment. You can't just ask a sadist a question like that and think you're gonna hear something you like.

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[info]fields_of_hope
2013-08-16 08:08 am UTC (link)
[Indeed, she doesn't love that response. It seems contrary to her that he's sitting here with her, comforting her, holding her hand, and yet explaining, or trying to, that he enjoys seeing people in pain or humiliated.]

[Even though this isn't the best time, she hopes Reid talks to him soon.]

[For now, a deep breath.] I can't claim to understand what drives you to enjoy those things, but it's a part of you and so I won't shy away from it. I couldn't approve of anything against someone's will, but...

[A smile up at him, despite her sore neck.] If it amuses you, I'll do some of those things you want. Though [she touches the heavy gauze on her neck] it could be a while before I can wear your collar properly.

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[info]sadistfaction
2013-08-16 07:36 pm UTC (link)
It's not all bad stuff, though. Living here makes me smile too.

[He pats her hand.]

Yeah, it's okay. You know damn well I'll be bringing up the collar thing again later.

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[info]fields_of_hope
2013-08-16 07:44 pm UTC (link)
[Her smile quirks, a shadow of its usual self though more so than a moment ago.] I have no doubt.

What sort of other things would you want? I think it will be more comfortable if I'm a little prepared. [You know, armed with handcuffs or black lace teddies or whatever. She can improvise well enough, when in her comfort zone. This isn't, and though she's determined to at least try, it is a little nerve wracking. She can't tell how much of her nerves is residual anxiety from Spike's attack, however.]

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[info]sadistfaction
2013-08-16 08:19 pm UTC (link)
[What other things would he want? That is a very good question.]

Hm, handcuffs, a dog or cat bowl... cat or dog ears and a tail would probably be fun, too. Never thought about getting a girl to wear those before, but that sounds like a good time. I'll even let you decide between dog or cat.

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[info]fields_of_hope
2013-08-16 08:24 pm UTC (link)
[A giggle (it's only a little hoarse) as she pictures that. The bowl sounds slightly off-putting, but in the scheme of things it'll be fine. If it makes him happy, what does it matter? It's not as though this will somehow come to the attention of her Council back home.] A cat, I think. I prefer to curl up in your lap and purr rather than bound about.

It's too bad I didn't know you that day we all grew real kitty ears. It was very cute. [Hmm...] I wonder if the man who did that left the formula anywhere.

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[info]sadistfaction
2013-08-16 09:04 pm UTC (link)
Good answer. I was thinking you'd go with cat. Suits you.

[He nods. And now that he knows that a thing like that happened, he is not pleased.]

Damn, I miss all the good shit. What I wouldn't give for some cat girls. [A dramatic sigh!] I suppose I have no choice but to continue to settle for the cat girls in anime.

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[info]fields_of_hope
2013-08-16 09:09 pm UTC (link)
[She pats his arm in consolation!] Maybe I can find him again and ask for a few vials of it. At least you could have one catgirl. And the ears come off easily enough, so I wouldn't have to have them all the time. [She looks more amused at that, but doesn't elaborate.]

I'm not sure about a real tail, unfortunately. The potion only did ears. I think the tail would be much more fun.

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[info]sadistfaction
2013-08-16 09:23 pm UTC (link)
[He takes a moment to think that over.]

Nah, you don't have to do that. You do too much already. I can deal with the fake stuff. A formula sounds kind of hazardous to the body. You're no lab rat.

[He closes his eyes.]

Unless it's a formula to give me super powers, then that would be acceptable.

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[info]fields_of_hope
2013-08-16 09:32 pm UTC (link)
[His "you're not lab rat" comment means more to her than he might think, considering that was exactly what Blue Cosmos and the other anti-Coordinator groups called Lacus and people like her.] Mm, all right. [Still, she might do it once. As a surprise. Assuming she can find any of it.]

I'll ask around about the super powers, then. What power would you want if you could choose one? [They ALSO had super powers day once but she doesn't know if Sougo was around for that either, so she won't mention it.]

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[info]sadistfaction
2013-08-16 10:04 pm UTC (link)
That's the most horrible question you've ever asked me. How can I possibly choose just one?

[He moves his arms upward and stretches.]

I'd want to be able to speed everywhere on my own two feet, and kill people with laser beams from my eyes, or breathe fire at them like a dragon. If not breathe fire like a dragon, then maybe I want one of those fireflowers from the M*rio games that shoots fireballs at people. And then I'd want to be able to fly and have super vision so I can see everything from way up high. I'd also want to be able to go Super Saiyan and be able to go, "Kamehameha!" [he raises his arms out and puts his wrists together and imitates the this move.] So you see, I can't choose just one.

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[info]fields_of_hope
2013-08-16 10:12 pm UTC (link)
Ah, I see. [As Lacus listens to him, she can't help but wonder if his sadistic tendencies are out of a need for power... Much like that elaborate superpowers fantasy. Maybe not, and this isn't her strongest subject, but given how powerless he sometimes feels she thinks she might be correct. At least it helps her to put something entirely foreign to her in context.]

If you could do all that, I'd have to spend my whole day giving you compliments. There'd be no time left for back rubs. [Which she hasn't forgotten that she technically still owes him, since he was out cold at the time.]

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[info]sadistfaction
2013-08-16 10:54 pm UTC (link)
Now you're just making stuff up.

[He turns his head to look at her.]

You can give me compliments while you're giving me back rubs. Last I checked it's not impossible to talk and use your hands at the same time.

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[info]fields_of_hope
2013-08-17 11:59 am UTC (link)
I'll keep that in mind.

[He's right, she's making stuff up -- but only to improve his mood, which seems to at least superficially have worked.]

Compliments and back rubs and kitty ears and a collar. [She counts down her fingers as if running down a mental list.] And superpowers if I can find a way. Anything else? [She's a tiny bit surprised he hasn't mentioned anything dangerous. Handcuffs, but nothing that could harm her. Maybe she has the wrong idea of sadism.]

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(no subject) - [info]sadistfaction, 2013-08-17 02:53 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]fields_of_hope, 2013-08-17 03:10 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sadistfaction, 2013-08-17 03:39 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]fields_of_hope, 2013-08-17 03:44 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sadistfaction, 2013-08-17 04:01 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]fields_of_hope, 2013-08-17 04:09 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sadistfaction, 2013-08-17 04:22 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]fields_of_hope, 2013-08-17 04:28 pm UTC

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