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Klara Guildsen ([info]lostababyfang) wrote in [info]marinanova,
@ 2013-06-18 18:39:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:elena gilbert, eric northman, hikaru hitachiin, klara guildsen, penelope garcia, sougo okita, xander harris

[Day 224] [Video|Voice|Action|Open]
[For weeks Klara had deluded herself in the false sense of security about what she could and couldn't do here. She had listened and tried and thought maybe she was making progress. She didn't have to be a monster, could make sure that she stayed in control.

Then they were sent to the other prison. She had been normal in most ways. Human almost. It had been like a terrible sweet trickster dream on her. She had still needed blood, but the sound of heartbeats and breathing and the smell of people--so delicious, like a freshly spiced steak--had been gone. It had been wonderful.

And then they had come back. And so had the real hunger. Reality was always so much harsher than her dreams.

She's currently in the library, taking notes and all the different books on the supernatural that she could find, many of them about curses and vampires. There are even two about contagious diseases. To anyone who comes across her, they might notice the sharp edge to her movements, the jerking turns of the pages that isn't as gentle and reverent as how she usually treats books.

Klara's impatient and maybe even looks worried to those who are good at discerning body language despite her blank expression. She needs to do more and so she finally decides to ask for help.]


...What do you do when you...really really want something, but you know you shouldn't have it? Like...being allergic to chocolate, but you really love chocolate. How do you make yourself stop wanting things that are bad for you?

[Or bad for other people. Her voice is hesitant, but she can't think of what else to do. After an evident pause she also asks]

And...is there anyone who is good at...wood carving? Such as carving words and nice, clear designs into wood? I want to decorate my house, but I'm not good at it. [A truth and a lie.] I can draw what I want for someone else...if they're willing.

[She adds a bit quickly.] I can do something for you in return, too.



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[info]vikingly
2013-06-21 01:48 am UTC (link)
Have you tried eating a bit of real chocolate? Maybe take a bit and separate it from the rest. Is the processed kind disagreeing with you?

[He's formulating a plan. Too bad most of the people he actually gets along with are vampires. He might have a couple of humans he could talk to.]

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[info]lostababyfang
2013-06-21 01:55 am UTC (link)
No, no, it's not. [She says it a bit quickly, but she's not lying.] It's just...plain. [She manages not to show how much this gets to her to say since she knows he knows what she means.] It's always been plain. It's not the same.

[And something inside her knows it.]

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[info]vikingly
2013-06-21 02:09 am UTC (link)
It's never going to be the same, Lilla, but we do what we must. Perhaps, if you like, I can meet you at the bar. We can experiment with different kinds of chocolate and see if we can come up with something that tastes a bit better.

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[info]lostababyfang
2013-06-21 02:16 am UTC (link)
[Klara doesn't know what that means. Is it a nickname? A word? She'll look it up. It can't be something bad if Erik is using it.] It still wouldn't stop me from wanting real chocolate. I need a way to stop wanting it--or make that I can't get it.

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[info]vikingly
2013-06-21 02:32 am UTC (link)
[It means 'little one' in Swedish.] That's the problem. You never stop wanting the real stuff. You simply learn to control those urges that would make you gobble the real stuff.

Do you mind me asking, Klara, how long have you been a vampire? Don't worry, I've locked the conversation.

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[info]lostababyfang
2013-06-21 02:47 am UTC (link)
It wasn't like this before. I didn't--I didn't want this. [She did, but she didn't know then what she wanted. So much time had passed.]

One thousand one hun--[She pauses. No. That's not what he means. She takes some time to think of it.] I mean...twenty-two years. Almost twenty three. It's harder to tell time here. Everything is harder here.

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[info]vikingly
2013-06-21 03:08 am UTC (link)
So you're very much like a fledgling here despite your previous experiences.

Come to the bar. I'll see what we can manage.

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[info]lostababyfang
2013-06-21 03:20 am UTC (link)
[She bites her lip.]

I know I don't know anything. I never should have thought I could do this. I never should have drank anything. It had to go wrong.

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[info]vikingly
2013-06-21 03:31 am UTC (link)
You'll have to clarify. I've no idea what you're talking about. What's happened, Klara?

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[info]lostababyfang
2013-06-21 03:41 am UTC (link)
[It's not easy to talk about.. To the point where she's moved from her table in the library to a dark corner where she hopes no one will come by.]

...I wasn't supposed to drink blood. My Dad made sure I wouldn't. But they don't do it here. I thought I could be okay, but drinking--I think it's made it worse. I can't wait like I used to.

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[info]vikingly
2013-06-27 04:38 pm UTC (link)
[ Eric nods. He's aware that there are different kinds of vampires here and apparently Klara is one of them. ]

Then you don't have to consume blood to live.

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[info]lostababyfang
2013-06-28 03:53 am UTC (link)
[Her brow creases in confusion.] I...need blood. [Using the word "need" is harder than she thought it would be.]

I just...I wasn't supposed to drink it. My dad would bring in bags of blood and there was an IV. But that's not allowed here.

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[info]vikingly
2013-07-17 11:10 pm UTC (link)
No, but you might be able to find someone with the proper supplies and knowledge willing to give it a shot.

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[info]lostababyfang
2013-07-21 12:43 am UTC (link)
[That was something she hadn't even thought of. That he said it so simply makes her feel stupid for not considering it, even though her other option was still better at making sure she wasn't a danger to someone.]

Would someone be willing to? Not everyone likes vampires.

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[info]vikingly
2013-07-23 05:10 pm UTC (link)
I'm quite sure someone could be convinced, but if not, I feel sure I'm capable of tapping a vein with a needle.

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[info]lostababyfang
2013-07-31 02:06 pm UTC (link)
[She almost asks why he would be willing to do that for her, but Eric has been nothing but helpful since she arrived. He's far kinder to her than he would ever need to be and it makes Klara feel a bit ashamed to keep questioning him.]

...Thank you. You don't...Thank you. [What else could she even say? It would be rude to throw his help back in his face and she doesn't even want to.]

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[info]vikingly
2013-08-01 06:37 pm UTC (link)
You're quite welcome and if you need help in asking around, let me know.

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[info]lostababyfang
2013-08-07 11:20 am UTC (link)
[It hits her then that she's expected to ask someone to help. To get someone who would knew enough and would be able to provide the transfusion for her.

She would have to tell someone what she was.]


How do I ask for help without telling them? I don't want anyone else to know.

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[info]vikingly
2013-08-07 10:39 pm UTC (link)
I'm afraid that at least one other person will have to know. I can't give you Sookie's blood, but there might well be a human or two that would be willing to help out. You would have to inform them.

[He could probably glamor them later if Klara really was opposed to anyone else knowing.]

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[info]lostababyfang
2013-08-07 11:32 pm UTC (link)
No, I can't. What if I told them and they told everyone else? What if they got scared and ran away? I'm not like you. I'm not a good vampire.

[In any meaning of the phrase.]

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[info]vikingly
2013-08-08 12:16 pm UTC (link)
Let me talk to someone at the clinic and see what I can do. [ He pauses a moment. ]

Klara, I have killed thousands of people and that is merely an estimate. I am trying, but I am far from a good vampire.

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[info]lostababyfang
2013-08-17 11:00 pm UTC (link)
[He's mentioned not being good before, but that's not what Klara means. He can just...turn it off. He can decide what to do. He's here for killing people because he can choose not to do it and she feels like every day is a struggle to stay in control.

...what does it even mean to be a good vampire? She feels as if she's become even more confused by being here than she was at home when she didn't really understand anything about herself besides needing blood.]


Okay. [What else can she say? He knows what he's talking about far more than she does.] I'm sorry. I didn't mean to--I'm sorry. I just...

[She hates this so much.]

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