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Tweak says, "George, George of the jungle"

Euphemia li Britannia (friendly_fire) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2013-06-10 12:12:00

Entry tags:

aidan reilly, calliope-caliborn, dirk strider, elena gilbert, euphemia li britannia, helen magnus, jane crocker, kitty pryde (evolution), laura kinney, lelouch vi britannia, piter de vries, tear grants, yuuki kuran

Day 223 [voice | open]
[Euphie's voice is soft and she omits the video this time, opting only for sound, which she very rarely does.]

I just wanted to thank everyone for their help in the other prison. I'm extremely sorry for the the things I said and did. I'm especially sorry to those I hurt and scared. I'm not feeling any of those urges anymore since we returned. I hope I never do again.

[She pauses, wanting to say more. Wanting to put it right. But what can she say? She called for the deaths of innocent people. She considers offering to leave the school to someone else's care, but she also doesn't want to burden anyone. In the end, there's not much more to say. She isn't looking for sympathy. She just wants people to know they're safe.] Thank you for your time.

[Private | Yuuki]
Yuuki, I... [Her voice shakes a bit.] Are you feeling better?

[Private | Housemates]
I would understand if you don't feel comfortable living with me anymore.

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	[private] friendly_fire 2013-06-10 10:03 pm UTC (link)
	[That really does make her feel better. Laura is so confident and assured sounding. It reminds her of soldiers from home. Familiar. She nods slowly.] I would like to stay if everyone is comfortable with it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

[private]

xtricate
2013-06-10 10:10 pm UTC (link)

[She is confident. Even without her powers, she had more than enough skills to subdue Euphie and keep her from harming others. What she does not like is how...resigned Euphie sounded to it. Like this was still her fault.]

If anyone is a danger living among us, it is not you. You only attempted to attack Japanese. [None of them are Japanese obviously.]

...Did the person who did this to you pay for what they did?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[private] friendly_fire 2013-06-10 10:17 pm UTC (link)
	[She can't erase the memories or guilt so easily. It was still her voice giving the commands and her hand on the trigger. Even though she'd be trying to talk anyone else out of their guilt in the same situation. But that question? That's as heavy as they come. She knows he dies and it's the last thing she wants. There's a long hesitation before she nods.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

[private]

xtricate
2013-06-10 10:25 pm UTC (link)

[Euphie is not like her. She is not someone who should have to suffer the way she has. It reminds her too much of how Cessily was taken and tortured and made to see the world in a way that Laura always had. This is what it felt like to hate things she could not change.

If Euphie is suffering from it still, the person must not paid enough for what they did.]

Then it is done. [Not that she truly believes that.] You will not face it alone again.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[private] I didn't have this notif for some reason friendly_fire 2013-07-08 03:24 am UTC (link)
	I don't think I was alone this time. You helped me. So many people helped. [Or got hurt trying.] There are so many good people here like you, Laura. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

[private] No biggie I figured it was something simple like that*

xtricate
2013-07-08 03:35 am UTC (link)

[People do not call her that. She has been reminded that she is a person, that she should make her own choices, but no one ever really calls her a "good person." Of course, Euphie is someone who sees the good in everyone, but she wonders if perhaps she is putting too much faith in Laura.]

I am not a good person, Euphie. I am your roommate. It is not the same. [She has done too much to be a good person.]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[private] Yeah, I don't know if I accidentally deleted it or if it never came friendly_fire 2013-07-08 03:36 am UTC (link)
	I'm sure you can be both. I've seen the good for myself. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[private] With how IJ can be, probably the latter xtricate 2013-07-08 03:40 am UTC (link)
	[Why does she say that?] Doing...good things does not make someone good. If that is true, then doing bad things are just as much proof of the opposite. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[private] Which scares me! How many others could I not have? friendly_fire 2013-07-08 03:42 am UTC (link)
	[Euphie thinks about that a moment, unsure of her feelings.] I didn't only mean your good acts, but what do you think it takes to make someone good? [Not challenging, just curious.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[private] Oh dear that is a scary thought. xtricate 2013-07-08 03:47 am UTC (link)
	[Laura pauses, unsure herself. It is a question she thinks, but never truly comes up with an answer for.] ...I do not know. If someone chooses to hurt others, are they good people? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[private] Oh dear that is a scary thought. friendly_fire 2013-07-08 03:49 am UTC (link)
	Yes. [She says it easily. Too easily maybe, but then she has people she loves and believes in who choose to hurt others.] At least they can be. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[private] xtricate 2013-07-08 03:52 am UTC (link)
	But how? [It does not make much sense to her.] I have killed people. I will do it again because that is what I am. Someone who can only kill is not a good person. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[private] friendly_fire 2013-07-08 03:54 am UTC (link)
	...I have killed people too. I hope I don't do it again. Why do you think you will? Is that what you want? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[private] xtricate 2013-07-08 03:55 am UTC (link)
	It is because I am only good at killing people. I do not know how to do anything else. Even...even my friends back home knew this. [That is why Scott asked her to join X-Force.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[private] friendly_fire 2013-07-08 03:57 am UTC (link)
	[Unable or unwilling to see her as simply a killer.] To protect others? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[private] xtricate 2013-07-08 03:59 am UTC (link)
	At times. But also because it is what I am ordered to do. [There is a pause.] If it would have helped you, had fixed what had been done to you in Squall... [She cannot ever be sure what she would do or not do.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[private] friendly_fire 2013-07-08 04:01 am UTC (link)
	There's no one to order you now. You don't have to do that if you don't want to, and there's a school. You can learn to do anything. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[private] xtricate 2013-07-08 04:04 am UTC (link)
	I have lived my whole life following orders. I do not know how to change that. [And maybe she is too afraid to.] I am a killer, Euphie. I am not like you. You did not have a choice. [Laura did not either, really, but she thinks that she did.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[private] friendly_fire 2013-07-08 04:05 am UTC (link)
	You have one now, don't you? You haven't chosen to kill since you've been here. [She's pretty confident the wardens would have mentioned it.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[private] xtricate 2013-07-08 04:07 am UTC (link)
	[There is a visible clenching of her teeth there, a tightness in her jaw.] ...But I did. I killed one of the inmates of Sector 6. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[private] friendly_fire 2013-07-08 04:09 am UTC (link)
	[She's quiet a moment.] I doesn't make you a bad person, and as long as you have time you can change. You can choose not to kill today. And then you can choose it again tomorrow. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[private] xtricate 2013-07-08 04:12 am UTC (link)
	Would you say that if I killed a friend? Someone who mattered to you? [This discussion has gotten too deep too fast and Laura is not sure how to handle it. There are too many feelings she is not capable of handling. It makes her arms itch.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[private] friendly_fire 2013-07-09 03:51 am UTC (link)
	Laura... [Softly.] What I said wouldn't change because of that. [She already knows how her brother dies and who kills him. It wasn't easy, no, but she still cares for him and believes in him.] (Reply to this) (Parent)

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