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Tweak says, "sleep sleep SLEEP"

matt donovan (stuck) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2013-06-10 08:33:00

Entry tags:

buffy summers, caroline forbes, damon salvatore, dawn summers, elena gilbert, korra, malcolm reynolds, matt donovan, peter parker (tas), rebekah mikealson, rogue, sam winchester, spike, stefan salvatore

day 223 | i » video → open.
When I said I wanted to get out of Mystic Falls for a while, this wasn't exactly what I had in mind. Ruins of some ancient prison in Italy or China, maybe, but not underwater and in some alien dimension, or however the hell that's supposed to work. [ if he's getting the gist of this right. he's going by video game logic here. ]

And what happened to a trial by a jury of your peers? Is that not a thing on Planet X? Too human a concept for you? Is throwing eighteen-year-olds in prison for skipping a couple of classes back in high school [ and eradicating an entire vampire bloodline via staking finn mikaelson, but shhhh ] just something you do for fun around here?

[ just when things had calmed down and the world was returning to normal (or as normal as the world was capable of getting after everything that happened back home), this happens. it's just his luck, too. nothing ever stayed good for matt donovan. his life sucked, and it looks like graduating from high school meant it was only going to get suckier from here on out. ]

So much for the world tour.

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stuck
2013-06-12 05:57 pm UTC (link)

[ matt remembers the sharp, painful sensation of elena's fangs piercing the flesh at the base of his throat, feeding from him beneath the veil of his collar in the midst of a mournful crowd while he did his best to look upset instead of in immense pain. it had been worth it, though. while elena was still (unknowingly) under command to drink blood only from the vein, he'd been more than happy to continue feeding her. and ironically, in spite of how twisted and messed up letting your ex-girlfriend drink your blood was, the times that he did were some of the most intimate experiences of his life. he couldn't remember the time she lost control and tore in a little too hard, drank a little too deeply, as damon had compelled it away. all that remained was an intense desire to help her, and a sense of unwavering trust as he put his life in her hands, knowing that she had the power to end it before he even saw it coming.

that, he told himself, no matter how cheesy or messed up it sounded, even from within the confines of his head, was love. and it had been startling to realize he loved elena gilbert more than he had his own sister, his mother. (though really, who would be surprised?) elena died for him. there had been only one answer when he and damon discussed their plan -- yes. even if the ring decided it didn't want to work, wasn't going to bring him back, his answer was yes. he'd die for the girl he's loved all his life, who's become far more than just someone he's dated to him. elena's family.

so being able to hold her again, the human her, is a rush like no other. he's grateful for the few moments he has to carefully steel his expression and blink back tears of joy, relief, and the guilt that will haunt him until his dying days, before she draws back, apologizes, and asks if he's okay. ]

I am now. [ he can give her that bit of honesty, even if he can't give her much else of it. ] What about you? Are you okay? How long have you been here?

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matter
2013-06-13 03:09 am UTC (link)

[ elena doesn't see how he could be okay. she knows she's not, deep down; she hasn't been. she hasn't been for a long time. her smile is watery at his answer, because she still believes it, feels that little bit of okay that she has always connected with matt. more so now. after everything. ] A few months. It's been... [ hard. difficult. she can barely touch on what it's been. she shakes her head wordlessly. ] We've survived. [ that's the truth. through every possible means. (by allying with rebekah, by finding some middle ground with klaus. by settling as much as they can and helping each other.) ]

Are you hungry? Thirsty? We can order something.

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stuck
2013-06-13 04:01 am UTC (link)

[ that's because he's not okay. matt is worlds of not okay, but he refuses to show it. something's come over him in the wake of learning about the supernatural side of the world, and whether it's self-preservation or a desire to not burden his friends with human problems when they've got so much else to worry about, he's put a wall up. the wall isn't thick, high, or by any means impenetrable, but there and durable enough to do the job intended. enough to keep everyone from seeing how not okay he is. caroline had been pissed at him when she found out he was failing his classes... why it's easier to talk to rebekah than people he's known practically his whole life is beyond him. ]

To be honest, I could use something a little stronger than what's available to us. [ perks of living at the lockwood mansion: easy access to booze. ]

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matter
2013-06-13 01:30 pm UTC (link)

[ elena and matt have something of that in common. and elena gets it, she does, why he'd build a wall. she's almost glad for it. it keeps him safe, out od the middle of things, where she's not sure she could stand him being. (matt has value to her, not just as a friend, as family, but as the last human connection to her world. to who she was. elena is never unsure of who or what she is when she's with matt. or maybe it's just easier not to be; he believes in her, sees her in ways no one else does or can or even wants to.)

she smiles at the request. ] Actually, I think we do have something. [ she sidles up to the bar a few feet away, her hand still lightly against his arm to guide him. sam merlotte's not here at the moment; a bot mans his post.

in true damon fashion, elena merely reaches over to grab a bottle of something and a couple of glasses. ]

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stuck
2013-06-13 05:46 pm UTC (link)

[ matt almost finds it endearing, the way she just grabs a bottle and glasses for them, but he recognizes the behavior as something learned from damon salvatore. how many times has he been behind the counter at the grill, only to spy damon doing the exact same thing and powerless to do anything but watch? matt's just thankful his manager hasn't asked about where all those bottles are going. maybe they don't notice, maybe they're compelled not to. he doesn't know.

he picks one of the booths near the back where it's quieter, less people around to overhear anything. he slides into one of the seats, lets elena decide whether she's going to sit next to or across from him. ]

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matter
2013-06-17 03:20 pm UTC (link)

[ learned from damon salvatore and practiced because elena's not exactly concerned about taking from under a bot's nose. it's one thing they aren't punished or held accountable for, and this is a special occasion. (much like it was when damon disappeared for days and stefan filled her in on being a vampire and almost losing matt.) maybe she should be more concerned about the behavior, but she's not.

she slides in across from him - not wanting to crowd him, and also because it's better to see him. her eyes linger on him a moment; she smiles, and then pours a healthy amount of liquor for the both of them.

she's quiet a moment and her lashes flutter. she had been paying attention to his other conversations, and their own. ]

We graduated. [ in other words, she knows. knows he's experienced and knows more about their lives than she does.

in other words, their lives have continued. at least they have graduated. ]

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stuck
2013-06-17 06:53 pm UTC (link)

[ the urge to say everything he shouldn't is there, to let out the words pertaining to things he promised himself he wouldn't say to her as long as he could help it, determined to protect the version of her that's here from the harsh reality of the future she faces. it takes every ounce of his will power to bite swallow the elaboration that should follow her we graduated statement. from their encounters with the ghosts after the veil was dropped, to caroline being forced to use the fact that klaus is into her to recall him to mystic falls to save damon's life. these are all things she doesn't need to know, as they all lead down paths that involve explaining what happened to people who are no longer with them. ]

Yeah. [ is what he manages to say instead, reaching out with the hand that's wearing jeremy's ring to grab the glass she's poured for him. ]

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matter
2013-06-17 08:10 pm UTC (link)

[ it's not that she entirely wants to know all of those things. she does, and she doesn't. she has to. no matter what happend here, home is where she wants to be. it's where her family is, her life, however messed up it is. even if jeremy showed up here... she would want a life for him. she would go home with him or to him, whichever was possible, if it were possible.

she knows there are things that have happened; rebekah's made that clear enough. she means to look at matt for more; she expects more. she expects to be there for him; for him to be there for her. for him to have looked after jer and tyler and caroline and bonnie and everyone even with the wall he's put up, and to have something to say. (that's the kind of person he is, to be there for their family, if not always involved in all their danger.)

that simple 'yeah' confirms her suspicions, her worry. she's quiet, looks down to watch him take hold of the glass. ] Matt, why are you wearing-? [ her hands are reaching to still his, take hold of his fingers. she's worried for him, and - ] Matt, this is Jeremy's. [ she lifts her questioning eyes, concern in them. why is he wearing jeremy's ring? ]

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stuck
2013-06-17 08:15 pm UTC (link)

[ his eyes say what his mouth can't: because he's had to die. ] Was Jeremy's. Doesn't exactly work for him anymore.

[ matt queues up what he told caroline, the half-truth about jeremy's huntership making him a supernatural being, rendering the ring void in bringing him back to life. that way it makes sense for him, the lone human amongst a sea of supernaturals, to be wearing it without addressing jeremy's murder at katherine's hands. ]

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matter
2013-06-17 09:35 pm UTC (link)

[ she sees what's in her eyes - but the exact meaning there escapes her. it could mean he's had to die, that he's been in danger. nothing in his eyes tells her why. elena sucks in a quiet breath.

mentioning why it's not on jeremy's finger definitely pulls her away from that line of questions. for now. ] What do you mean it doesn't work for him? [ a spike of panic ricochets through her chest. she thinks how the ring slowed its working for ric, how it enabled esther to turn him into a monster.

does that mean jeremy-? no. but maybe it does mean jeremy has died, over and over again. she holds his hands in his, her grasp firm and holding, comforting. ] Matt, why are you wearing it?

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stuck
2013-06-17 09:58 pm UTC (link)

Jer's a Hunter, Elena. [ god, this sucks. lying to her feels so wrong he can barely stand it. they've come too far for him to lie, yet he's doing so. because he firmly believes that he's protecting her, saving her from the thing that broke her so utterly and completely in ways she'll probably never fully heal from. ] A supernatural, now. You and I both know this ring doesn't work on supes.

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	action. matter 2013-06-18 03:29 am UTC (link)
	Oh my god. [ the words come after a pause, both devastated and concerned. rebekah told her about hunters. about the cure. about how neither of them got it. and now jeremy...? jeremy's just as supernatural as she is? ] How? Why? How could he be-? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

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stuck
2013-06-18 04:55 am UTC (link)

[ matt retracts a hand, running it over his face, though his hair. ] It's-- I don't know, Elena. Not exactly an expert on this stuff. After the first Hunter we came across died, these tattoos started showing up on his hands and arms... It chose him. He's been a potential since birth, or so legend has it, but who knows how true that is given how many of these things say they're gonna do this and end up doing that.

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matter
2013-06-18 03:01 pm UTC (link)

[ it's a lot to take in. she understands the meaning of matt's words. he was a potential since birth; they might not know the truth of it. it takes her a moment, and a breath, and then she accepts it. (she pushes aside her devastation and concern, all of what this means for jeremy's life and how it will change what normal he could have.

she knows she'll still fight for him to keep it.)

when she speaks, she's calmer and composed. ] Is he okay?

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stuck
2013-06-18 06:54 pm UTC (link)

[ no. no because he's dead. matt wasn't there when jeremy died on that island, but the image of jeremy's dead, lifeless and decomposing body lying on that bed will haunt him until his own dying days. but instead, he tries to focus on what he knows about the veil being down -- jeremy wandering about happily, making plans to eat burgers with elena and alaric. maybe... mabye he was okay on the other side. (that was a lie he was feeding himself and he knew it, but right now he needed to buy the lie to feed it to elena.) ]

As okay as someone who's gotta cope with all these 'must kill vampires' instincts can be. He's a lot stronger and smarter than everyone gives him credit for.

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matter
2013-06-19 03:27 pm UTC (link)

[ elena not sure how okay that can be. maybe she needs to be told he's stronger and smarter than everyone gives him credit for - knowing what he must be going through is something she can only imagine. she's talked to sam about this before, about jeremy, and she remembers it now. it grounds her; you always need someone to look after you, no matter how strong and smart you are.

she exhales through it all: her worry and hurt for her brother. (does that mean he wants to kill her? it's an impulse? the implication flickers through her gaze.) ] So something in him wants to? Has he killed anyone?

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