dracoluvah (dracoluvah) wrote in malfoycentric, @ 2007-08-17 21:58:00 |
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Entry tags: | author: dracoluvah, challenge: gvb, character: draco, character: harry, pairing: dm/hp, slash, type: fic |
The Good
The "good"
Although my overall favorite piece whould have to be my "Ties That Bind" multi-chapter fic (my longest written piece ever ... and first piece ever), the story below "Babyville" I think is my best one shot. It really goes deep into the heart of a couple in love struggling with demands of daily life and with relationship problems. It's also the piece that I reveal the most of myself.
Title: Babyville
Author: Dracoluvah
Pairing: Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance and hurt/comfort
Warnings: Previous MPreg is a theme (does not actually occur during the story)
A/N: Thanks to my beta Mistress Gwen! Also, MPreg is typically a squick of mine, so I wanted to write a story about issues couples may face and how they choose to deal with it. So, since no one if officially preg in this, I hope you can give it a chance.
Disclaimer: Harry, Draco, Hermione and pretty much anything else recognizable belongs to J.K. Rowling.
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From the first time I felt you kick inside me, I loved you. From the very moment you came into this world, you captured my heart. When I looked into those emerald eyes, seeing a small version of your daddy’s face, I knew you had me wrapped around your little finger. I can’t believe that you have been in our lives for only a year. I can’t remember my life without you, and I hope to never know a life devoid of you.
We love you with all our hearts,
Happy First Birthday,
Dad & Dad
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Remus,
I’m hoping this letter finds you well. I’m sorry we lost touch after the war, but I’m so very glad that we have crossed paths again. I know when you saw me the other day I wasn’t looking well. I’ve had a lot on my mind. Thank you for extending your hand in friendship. I figured a letter may be best way for me to get my feelings out. I hope you don’t mind.
If you had told me five years ago that I’d be married to Draco Malfoy and have a year-old child with him, I would have asked you what planet you were on. Back at Hogwarts… Well, I can honestly say that that was our turbulent time. We were young, we were struggling with our sexuality--actually, I don’t think Draco ever really struggled with his sexuality: I think he was always open to any opportunity that came his way. Yes, I was jealous.Yes, I knew from the moment I met him that he had an amazing presence and that I wanted him.
During our Hogwarts days I hated watching him at parties: drinking, snogging, ending up behind closed doors with the man of the hour. I was actually at the very party where he lost his virginity. I would have paid any amount to have been the one under him. It killed me to walk right by the couch he was on, with Blaise Zabini.
After Hogwarts and after the war, we ended up on a professional Quidditch team together. Isn’t it funny what a small world it is? That was where our friendship began. After practices, we would tell of our sexual escapades. We confided our hopes and dreams in each other. It wasn’t until Draco was traded to a rival team that he discovered his feelings for me: being away from me was his reality check. It was at Christmas that year, and we were exchanging presents as we always had. He had given me a gorgeous silver pocket watch. On the back, the inscription read: To Harry. Love, Draco. Fuck, I thought. I signed my card ‘from your friend, Harry.’ Now I have to go and get another card. The funny thing about that whole incident was that I had decided that I couldn’t wait much longer for him to have a change of heart. If he didn’t want me, then I needed to get on with my life. My mental deadline for him was New Year’s Eve. I was going to “put myself back on the market” New Years Day. For the six or so years that I waited for him to realize he had feelings for me … He came within six days of losing me. Six days!
So, now, here we are, all these years later, and with little Lucius James. I know what you must be thinking. Yes, I allowed Draco to use his father’s name first. That’s a long story for another day. I also don’t go around calling our “Little Man” Lucius. I’m actually quite fond of calling him “LJ” Although, when his mischievous Slytherin side comes out, bellowing “Lucius James” has a powerful sound.
Now I know you must be wondering how little LJ came into our lives. You may be stunned to hear that Draco was inseminated with little LJ. That just goes to show you how you really need to give Draco a chance and get to know him better. When we are together, he is so confident, committed, and devoted. He can be so gentle, patient, and loving. You must remember that yes, there are reasons why I fell in love with him. Many, in fact.
So, here lies the issue at hand. Draco wants to try for a second child and I just don’t know if we can go through the whole insemination process again. No one really knows this, but we had a terrible time with keeping Draco pregnant. He had miscarried twice before LJ The pain of losing a child is unimaginable, whether the baby is lost at eight weeks or at term.
For the first two months after the first miscarriage, Draco and I had many crying episodes. We had to stop watching Muggle TV because there were too many baby tragedies on the news and in the plots of family dramas.
Draco took the second miscarriage especially hard. He blamed himself, blamed his body. The strain on our relationship was terrible. We hadn’t fought so much since Hogwarts. We had decided to try the process one last time, under the constant care and attention of the Infertility team at St. Mungo’s. After nine nerve-wracking months, we were overjoyed to bring little LJ into the world. Draco was amazing. I had never loved him as much as I had in that moment.
We were finally blessed with the most amazing baby in the world (yes, I am biased, but he really is). Being a parent with Draco has brought our relationship to a level that I never could have imagined. We are so filled with love, a love more powerful than any magic I have ever experienced. But I’m fearful to go through the whole process again.
I’d love to hear your thoughts,
Fondly,
Harry
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*
Granger,
I know that through the years you haven’t always trusted me, but I’m humbly asking for your help. Harry and I are having problems. He’s not talking to me anymore: not real, meaningful conversations. Yeah, he’s talking to me about LJ’s bowel movements, or the adorable things Little Man is discovering (he really is quite a bright young lad if I do say so myself). But we’re not having the passionate, deep, meaningful conversations that we used to have. I think it’s partly my fault. I want to have another baby. I don’t want LJ to be an only child and turn into an insufferable little brat like I did. Harry and I have talked about the loneliness of being an only child. I don’t want that to happen to Lucius James. Before we married, we talked about our ideal family. If he’s changed his mind, I just want to know why. He won’t give me a valid reason and keeps changing the subject on me!
I keep trying to talk to him, but I think I’m pushing him away. It’s killing me. I love him so much. I love waking up to him every morning, I love playing peek-a-book with LJ and him. But it seems like he’s retreating inside himself. Every time I try and sit down to talk, he comes up with some kind of excuse and leaves the room or changes the topic.
And not that you need to hear this part, but he doesn’t even touch me the way he used to. He doesn’t run his fingers through my hair, he doesn’t hold my hand when we take LJ on walks, and forget about sex.
Hermione, I’m so sick over this. Please help me.
I would be forever grateful,
Draco
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Remus,
Thank you so much for writing back so promptly. You’re right, Draco and I really do need to sit down again and talk. Life with a little one is so overwhelming at times. I like your idea of writing down my thoughts first, then bringing that with me. It never even occurred to me that Draco might think I’m really upset with him. That’s not the case at all! I just want to protect him, shield him from the possible pain that was associated with our first two rounds of trying.
Thank you for all of your help,
Harry
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Granger,
I can’t thank you enough. Your offer to baby-sit Lucius James tomorrow so that Harry and I can have a grown up conversation is so very kind. To be out with him, away from the house, away from Baby-ville, will be such a treat! Thank you also for sending back my original letter. I love your idea of having him read it: once again Granger, you have outdone yourself!
My sincerest appreciation,
Draco
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The new moon was out. The sky was peaceful and gentle, with the stars twinkling above. Harry and Draco were reading each other’s letters and notes.
“I had no idea this was how you felt,” commented Draco. “All this time I was worried you were falling out of love with me, but you were just concerned for me.”
“Yeah.” Harry softly responded. “It would just break my heart to see you carry that burden.”
“So it’s not me?” Draco nervously questioned. “You’re not just saying this to make me feel better?”
“Draco, I would never lie to you or do anything to intentionally hurt you. I love you,” Harry said firmly, his green eyes so genuine. “I also had an idea,” Harry stated with trepidation.
“Yes?” Draco responded nervously.
“Now that I’m not playing on the Quidditch team any longer, maybe I could try and carry the baby.”
Harry and Draco lay back down on their beach blanket and held hands, looking at the stars. Both men silently thought, “I have never loved you more than in this very moment.”