InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Why am I always Lois Lane?"

OMFG! Anakin might do ~something~ *pearl clutch* (darkforcerising) wrote in makebelievelog,
@ 2013-05-17 15:23:00

Entry tags:

anakin skywalker, padme amidala

Who: Anakin and Padmé
What: Two sad Star Wars peeps alone again in MB. They are coping
When: Thursday evening
Where: Their rooms
Rating/Warnings: Probably low? Full of angst and woe
Status: In progress/Closed

When the calls didn’t go through, when the texts came back ‘unable to send’, Anakin knew. Padmé knew as well. They both knew the signs of someone being sent home. They knew it could happen to anyone – friends, acquaintances, family members. They knew and still it hurt when someone they cared about was taken from them. They knew and they were still surprised.

He set his lightsaber down on his and Padmé’s dining table.

Despite knowing the moment his daughter left, the essence that was her signature in the Force was there one moment at the back of his mind, and the next – nothing. Despite the confirmation via the phones. Anakin had to go to her rooms to find out for himself. And there had been nothing there save the standard furniture all rooms contained. And his lightsaber, the one he let her borrow until they could get the crystals to make her another one.

Every trace of Leia was gone.

He walked over to Padmé, the look on her face a reflection of his own, drawing him to her. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close.

“I’m sorry,” he said simply. "I'm so sorry." He didn’t have any other words just then.

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darkforcerising
2013-05-20 02:09 am UTC (link)

He wanted Leia back, he wanted his daughter her for selfish reasons. He wanted her to know, given different circumstances, he wasn’t Vader, and he never wanted to hurt her or her loved ones, or destroy Alderaan. And he wanted to know her and love her and to be able to tell her that. And he knew this place was the only place he could have that, because back home he would choose differently.

He knew back in their world Leia would have a great many happy successes without him, her life would be full and complete and she would experience love beyond what she could measure. She would have heartache, too, but the good things would last, for her. And again, none of that good would include him.

And he was jealous of that. And bitter. And he hated that he felt this way, but he was ultimately, despite all the work he tried to correct himself, a selfish person.

Anakin felt that essence of Padmé he could sense in the Force pulling him towards her. Padmé needed him and as much as he itched to go work out his frustration and raw feelings through physical exertion or by working on some mechanical project he wouldn’t leave her side for anything. She needed him, and it gave him something outside himself, beyond his own selfishness, on which to focus.

“Of course,” he said as he moved to sit next to her.

He really didn’t have anything else to say and he hoped his presence would be enough. If Padmé wanted to talk, he would try to be supportive of what she needed. But his emotions were never easy for him to put into words; he was better at expressing them through action.

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