InsaneJournal

OMFG! Anakin might do ~something~ *pearl clutch* (darkforcerising) wrote in makebelievelog,
@ 2013-01-23 12:08:00

Entry tags:

anakin skywalker, h.g. wells

Who: Anakin Sr. and Helena Sr.
What: They deal with similar issues – primarily, having the need to tell those they care about about a dark and dismal future
When: Tuesday evening
Where: The stables
Rating/Warnings: Probably low, they may talk about darker subjects, will update if necessary
Status: In progress/Closed

Anakin was doing his very best to avoid a certain person who just so happened, as chance would have it, to live right down the hall from him. When Anakin had realized just where Leia was staying he had cursed the Force, because the Force deserved it, and because he had no other option. He knew he had no right to approach her, even if giving her the distance and respect she deserved slayed his heart, but he didn’t have to appreciate the humor of this cosmic joke.

It was late, after dinner, and Anakin found, despite the chill that permeated even throughout the heated stables, that working on this new bike, fairly distant from the south wing of the castle, to be mentally diverting for him. As opposed to a random project in his workroom. Things were not quite easy between him and his younger self, and in his current agitated state it was best to not stir those murky waters. Plus, having a clear goal for a project was infinitely more soothing to his mind than haphazard non-direction. It was clear to see, in moments like this, how meditative working on some mechanical project was for Anakin.

He was thoroughly lost in that world, where his troubled thoughts were pushed to the back of his mind to be sorted unconsciously while he focused his attention on the frame he was building, when the wrench precariously set on the edge of the work table, vibrating forward from too many bumps to the table, fell to the floor. Its loud, metallic clattering echoed about the stable. Anakin paused to pick it up and set it on a more secure spot, and then he resumed his work, unconcerned about who might be near enough to have heard the racket.

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indelibleink
2013-01-31 08:53 am UTC (link)

A little smile crossed her lips at Anakin's humor. "If Padmé has her way, no doubt you will at some point be able to better tell whether she's frustrated or upset by your upbringing." Helena watched as Anakin began attaching a piece to the top of the bike. She stood up so she could better see what he was doing.

"Of that I have no doubt I am of the latter category. I am not one who easily forgives, especially if it is myself I need to forgive." Helena did do her best to not be a hypocrite in this sense. "Forgiving also requires one to repent and not everyone wishes to repent. Likewise, I will never ask to be forgiven. I seek to put right what I have done to the best of my ability, but I have not, and will not, ask for forgiveness. Forgiveness can only be earned, never demanded."

Helena nodded a bit, one hand coming up to the collar of her shirt and sifting beneath the fabric, her fingers closing around her locket. "I think that is something I can accept now. I am trying to put my heart in the right place." Helena's gaze was fixed on the bike and her fingers toyed with the locket, bringing it out from under her shirt. It was a reflex she had when she agitated or upset or thinking of Christina.

"How are things between you and your younger self?" Helena's gaze snapped from the bike to Anakin himself. She doubted things were okay between them, but she was trying to gauge how long she should expect her younger self to not talk to her after telling her what awaited her in her future.

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darkforcerising
2013-02-01 01:19 pm UTC (link)

Anakin noticed Helena fiddling with the locket around her neck, but he already felt like he’d been prying too much. Helena had answered his questions, yes, but he didn’t want to push things too far. The locket seemed infinitely more intimate than anything he’d asked thus far, as if it might be that line he shouldn’t cross.

The humor left Anakin’s expression and he grew serious again when the topic of conversation turned towards his younger self.

“He’s talking to me with sentences again, which is an improvement over silence or short, one word answers.” Anakin shrugged. Though he tried not to let this bother him, the truth was, it did. He couldn’t change how the boy felt about him, he never could change anyone’s opinion of him, and most did expect the worst of him. On some level he’d learned to ignore it, if he hadn’t his time at the Temple would have been worse. But this was his younger self they were talking about. Ani was a separate person, but before arriving in the Land of Make Believe the boy had been him. The way the boy looked at Anakin now certainly gave a new meaning to the phrase ‘self-loathing’.

“Still putting off telling your younger self?”

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indelibleink
2013-02-03 12:01 pm UTC (link)

The meaning of the locket was a heavy subject for Helena. It was one she tended to tread carefully around. Sooner or later, she would tell Anakin and show him the picture within it. But for the moment, that wasn't going to happen. Helena's mind was elsewhere, more focused on drawing strength from the locket, even if she wasn't completely aware she was even clutching it.

Helena didn't precisely like turning things to a serious topic, but she knew Anakin knew what it was like to tell his younger self of an unsavory future that awaited his younger self upon return to their world. And sometimes it helped to talk about such subjects with someone else who had personal experience with it. Even though she knew their situations were different, they were similar enough that Helena could be able to gauge how things would progress once she told her younger self about everything. Of course, she knew her younger self was different than the younger Anakin, but she could still form some framework of what to expect.

"Not so much putting off as it's being pushed back. I had intended to tell her after the holiday season, but when I fell ill, that was not an option." Helena took a slow breath. "But now that I am well again, I don't think I should put it off any longer." She really did wish she didn't have to have this conversation with her younger self, but for that to happen Helena would've had to have lived a very different life. But Helena had accepted the fact that there were consequences for the choices she had made in her life, and one of them was telling her younger self about them. Even if this scenario had never before been a possibility, but this world proved to be breaking the rules at every turn.

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