Adam Milligan's life is (equallycursed) wrote in madisonvalley, @ 2018-07-12 14:06:00 |
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Entry tags: | !log, !open, [plot] final countdown, adam milligan (equallycursed), ~2018 july, ~40 points, ~~laurel lance (libras) |
Who: Adam Milligan and Open
What: Facing the facts
When: Thursday afternoon
Where: Verdant
Warnings: TBA
Status: Open/On-going
There was a whole lot that Adam didn't want to face about going back. If this really was sending him home? His life was over. His brothers were going back to their lives, his friends were going back to theirs. He? Was going back to the cage, was going back to being stuck in the pit with Lucifer taunting him and Michael's damnable stoicism and his own slow-growing insanity. He could remember the kind of unstable he'd been when he'd arrived four and a half years ago, and it made him cringe.
It didn't help that he knew what happened to him, that his brothers left him down there. That they left him when they had the chance to get him out. He got that, he really did. Sam was the one who could actually do something for the fight, he couldn't have. Plus the bond between Sam and Dean. But then there was Sam and Dean just... forgetting him. Leaving him down there. Leaving him to his insanity, because he'd been shoved in the corner of his own mind, cringing away in the fetal position for his own good and his own protection. He'd curled up so tightly that sometimes he'd wondered if there was anything of him left. Except he'd known that there was because he could still feel his mind chipping away. And if it was like that for him, it was worse for Michael.
Which made him think of how it was going to be when he went back, so many more years. So many more years of nothing but feeling his mind breaking into the nothingness.
Losing everything here, though? Losing everything he'd ever wanted to have, ever wanted to be? That was worse. The idea of losing his wife, his daughter? Crushed him, because he didn't know what was going to happen to that sweet beautiful little child once he and Finch went home. And Finch? She would go home to die in a matter of hours, which she didn't deserve. All these thoughts and more swirled though his heads angrily, messily, making him as upset as everybody else in town in his own ways.
So he sat at the bar in Verdant, quite happily paying more attention to his drinking than anything else. All he wanted to do was fix this, and that was the one thing he couldn't do. But he could just sort of stare at his drink, and so he did.