Challenge: Severus’ Birthday – prompt ‘stopper in death’
Word Count: 862
Warning: No sex!
A/N: Longer than a drabble. I don’t go with JKR and the birth year of the Marauders and Severus - I think 1959 not 60 for many reasons. This would make this year’s b-day his 50th. Just sayin’ Many thanks to purpleygirlfor the fast beta-brit pick!!
Severus pulled a pillow over his head; rays of the weak, watery January sunrise were still at least an hour away. His famous 'stopper in death' speech had come to fruition. It was his birthday today. A big birthday. A birthday with a zero on the end. It really shouldn’t bother him; in all honestly he should be thrilled. At twenty, thirty had seemed unlikely and at thirty, forty had appeared to be unequivocally beyond reach. Yet, here he was. The pillow remained firmly in place until an owl rapped at his window.
He tossed the pillow and flung back the covers as he reached for his dressing gown. Nowadays it was unlikely that anyone would enter his bedchamber, so he had banished the grey flannel nightshirts in favour of the au naturel look. It did not mean, however, that he was going to open a window in January while nude and freeze his bits off.
“No doubt a Gryffindor’s missive of birthday cheer,” he grumbled to himself as he threw up the sash. “A Slytherin would have the sense to wait until after lunch.” The owl flapped its wings and roosted on his bedside table. Severus untied the parchment and handed the owl a treat. He shook his head as he fingered the fine paper, and wondered when he had started keeping owl treats and when he had begun to have enough correspondence to have them about the place. His fingers continued to caress the parchment; it was still another moment before he opened it.
If you could be any age, what would it be? --List 10 reasons why:
The paper stretched out below the question, completely blank. A Gryffindor, no doubt about that, Severus thought. They were never subtle. He turned the parchment over in his hands as he detected charms and wondered what they could be and who the perpetrator was. Minerva perhaps, trying to assess the likelihood of him returning as Potions Master, or Potter who was desperate to know if Severus had actually shagged his mother, or Lupin with his big warm hands, ready smile, innuendo, and saucy winks.
All right, he would play. First, he needed a shower, shave and a cup of tea.
Severus placed his teacup on the desk, adjusting his top button one more time. He cracked open his favourite colour ink, a dark forest green, which looked black to all but the most discerning individuals. The answer to the age question was so obvious. This year. Because now there was no Voldemort, no students, no spying, no insane Death Eaters, no wild schemes behind beguiling, twinkling blue eyes. He did miss that mad bastard, however. Cautiously, he gripped his wand in his left hand and proceeded to write.
Forty
Well, luck was with him. Writing forty had not irreparably damaged his psyche and he had not been transported by portkey to some unknown torture chamber. Did he really want tocontinue? He'd thought he would play this game, but the words hovering on the tip of his quill were quite private. Hell!He would not be intimidated, this was only a paper and he was no coward!
I am free to be the snarky bastard that I am.
I have a position that is acceptable.
I am open to the pursuit of a sexual liaison. Finally!
There was a knock at his door. Severus spelled his parchment to appear blank and capped the ink bottle. The rap came again
"If you had waited until a decent hour of the morning, I might answer more quickly!" Severus called out as he took slow measured steps toward the door, and he gripped his wand firmly as he opened it. Lupin Severus had his perpetrator.
Remus stood on the front step holding a picnic basket.
“A bit early in the day for visiting, don’t you think?” Severus drawled.
“Happy birthday, Severus. I brought breakfast.”
Severus looked around suspiciously. “No one else is with you?”
“No, just me.”
Severus stepped back to allow Remus to enter.
“So what was the trigger, Lupin?” Severus asked. “My age? The number of words I’d written?”
“No, nothing like that.”
“Well?” Severus demanded.
“Sex.”
“Sex?”
“You wrote the letters that make the word ‘sex’ and it triggered the charm.”
“Lupin, do you know what the odds were against me writing the word sex on that parchment?”
“I also had the words Lupin, partner, relationship, encounter, association, liaison, friendship, comradeship, alliance, friend, companion, cohort, associate, escort….”
Severus raised his hand. “Enough. So you left nothing to chance, but for what purpose?”
Remus grinned. “So I could give you a birthday kiss!”
“A kiss?” Severus raised one eyebrow. “I should think a fortieth birthday would rate more than just one simple kiss,” he scoffed.
Remus’ grin widened. “Do you have any other ideas?”
“Of course I have other ideas!” Severus stormed. “And you put them in my head with all of your double entendres and lewd gestures, wolf.”
“As it is your birthday, your wish is my command.” Remus grabbed Severus roughly and pulled him in for a lengthy, deep kiss before they made their way to the bedroom hand in hand.