Bring me the nastiest colours known to humanity (blpaintchart) wrote in lupin_snape, @ 2008-04-28 15:35:00 |
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Entry tags: | family fest, prompt: family fest |
Fic for Family Fest
So... I had a monster-sized Family Fest script planned, but for various reasons (holiday, stupidity, laziness) didn't manage to write it in time for family fest.
Last night in chat, i felt guilty about not contributing anything to this fest, so I seek to remedy that, by bringing an overgrown drabble. Thanks to lore for her encouragement, and Woohoo! for the joy of anniversary month!
Title: Visiting Lupin's Father.
Author: blpaintchart
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: About a grand.
Before
“Absolutely not.”
“Come on, Severus. It’ll be nice to have a change of scene.”
“If we need a change of scene, we can go abroad somewhere.”
“True, but I’d like to pay him a visit. It’s been years.”
“Well then go. I’m not preventing you from visiting your father, Lupin. I just believe there is no need for me to accompany you.”
“But I’m sure he’d like to meet you, Severus.”
“Humph! You know full well I’m not the kind of man that people like to meet.”
“Severus, you’re my partner. Of course he’ll want to get to know you.”
“That sounds ominous. The last time somebody expressed an interest in getting to know me, I woke up three days later with a blistering headache, a malevolent tattoo, and the prospect of a lifetime of servitude to a noseless, basket-weaving, reptile-shagging psychopath.”
“Hmmm. Well I’m sure that if my dad has designs on becoming the next Dark Lord, we’d have heard about it by now, but you’re more than welcome to bring along anti-venin and a bezoar just in case.”
“Ha bloody ha. I haven’t agreed to anything, wolf!”
“No you haven’t. But you’re coming with me anyway. A caring family is important for every child.”
“Oh dear. Not that again.”
“I don’t know what...”
“Liar! You’re trying to bring up that ridiculous idea again.”
“Each little person deserves to be cherished in their formative years; I thought that you, of all people, would understand.”
“I do.”
“Good. So, there’s nothing ridiculous about wanting to adopt a child.”
“No.”
“Oh Severus! Does this mean that you’ve decided...”
“And what better start in life could an orphan have than to be brought up by a pair of middle-aged, impoverished homosexuals; one a dark wizard, and one a dark creature?”
“Only bigoted fools would think of us like that.”
“That may be true, but whilst there are still bigoted fools in the world, we continue to run the risk of being arrested and sent to prison. Or, in your case, a zoo. How would that affect a child?”
“Well, I suppose it would give them the occasional interesting day out.”
“What?”
“Not the prison so much, but...”
“Lupin, you have lost your mind. Again. We are completely ill-equipped to even consider raising a child.”
“Nonsense! We have the most important thing already: love.”
“Excuse me please. There’s a bucket in the kitchen which I need to fill with vomit.”
“Righto. But when you’ve quite finished with your snide remarks, we shall go and visit dad. I’m sure he’ll have good advice about parenting.”
“Idealistic idiot. You are joking?”
“Not at all. He does have some experience, you know.”
“With children, yes. But our situation... you and me... it’s... unusual.”
“Look, my father is a kind, caring man. He may not be very interesting or worldly-wise, some might even call him dull, I suppose. He doesn’t know I’m gay, in fact I doubt he even knows what the word means, but...”
“Well, that’s an excellent start, I must say.”
“So, introducing you as my husband is bound to be something of a shock at first...”
“I won’t be his notion of a perfect daughter-in-law? You do surprise me.”
“Stop being so flippant, Severus. Of course it will take a lot of adjusting on his part; our sort of relationship is something he might never have even seen before. But I’m sure it will be obvious to him that his son is head over heels in love, and really, who needs anything more?”
“Idealistic to the point of nausea. If your father is anything like you...”
“Hmmm, well he was a Gryffindor.”
“That does it! I’m not going. I shall be soppied into an early grave.”
“It’s only for a weekend.”
“No!”
“I promise to do that thing you like, when we return.”
“No! ... Which thing?”
“The thing we did on Bonfire Night last year.”
“Oh. That thing. Same costumes?”
“If you like. Or maybe we could invest in some new ones.”
“Very well. I shall endure an awful weekend of pro-baby propaganda.”
“You’re all heart.”
“And just which tedious hell-hole has Lupin Senior retired to?”
“Brighton.”
“Oh. Well, why didn’t you say? I’m sure I can find plenty to occupy myself there, whilst you indulge your nurturing fantasies.”
“That’s the spirit! Actually, he hasn’t retired yet. I think he runs a club of some type.”
“Really? How fascinating. Golf or bowls?”
“Don’t know. But we’re about to find out.”
After
“Your face is a picture, Lupin!”
“Very funny.”
“Yes, it is!”
“Have you quite finished? Or are you determined to snigger all day?”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Lupin. I’m not sniggering. Schoolchildren snigger. I’m merely laughing myself all the way to an aneurism.”
“How was I to know?”
“Haha! Quite. He doesn’t know I’m gay.”
“Well, he didn’t, did he?”
“True. I doubt he even knows what the word means.”
“Ah. Well...”
“But I have to admit, the part about him running a club was accurate.”
“Er... yes.”
“And what an establishment! Cockz in Frockz.”
“I...”
“Yes, imagine adopting a pack of brats and taking them there for holidays to visit Grandad.”
“Well...”
“Or should I say, Marlene?”
“Well, when I was growing up, he was known as Martin.”
“Indeed? Then I can understand why he changed it.”
“Look, Severus, you can sneer all you like, but the fact remains, he’s my father. He understands, he cares, and he’s there for us.”
“I know. And you’re wrong, Lupin. I’m not sneering. Not in the least.”
“Really?”
“Yes really, you daft wolf. I happen to think that Marlene is one of the finest people I’ve ever had the pleasure to meet.”
“Oh. So why were you laughing so much?”
“If you must know, it was watching your jaw drop when you first met your sheltered and oh-so-dull father.”
“Ah. Well, how was I to know they made platform shoes that high?”
“Indeed.”
“Severus, you’ve got that look on your face.”
“And which look might that be?”
“The one that tells me you’re up to something extremely... Slytherin.”
“I was merely wondering whether the ability to dance in heels is a genetic trait.”
“Oh.”
“Or whether it needs to be learned.”
“Ah.”
“I suggest we conduct our own research into the matter.”
“Erm...”
“Now.”
“But Severus, I thought we were going to discuss adoption further.”
“There’ll be plenty of time for that later, wolf. But now it’s time for you to make good on your promise.”
“I knew you’d never consider it properly.”
“On the contrary. I am perfectly willing to discuss this whole orphan-keeping business.”
“Really?”
“Indeed. Pass me that leather belt.”
“Oh Severus, I love you!”
“Of course you do. Now, let’s put on our finery and discover whether there’s yet another surprising use for tapioca.”