InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "why bother?"

lily evans (ungilded) wrote in loremrpg,
@ 2011-04-11 04:08:00

Entry tags:

!incomplete, dorcas meadowes, hestia jones, kira fenwick, lily evans

Characters: Lily Evans, Kira Fenwick, Dorcas Meadowes, and Hestia Jones
Setting: Monday, October 11th, sixth floor, the secret room behind the bookshelf in classroom ten
Content: NSFW for foul language
Summary: Lily is crying and she needs her mates!

Lily had not been expecting James to break up with her over a journal entry on Monday when she opened her journal. She was expecting the usual talk of the ball, maybe James and Sirius sparring back and forth verbally against some Slytherin, showing that everything was sorted-but not this. When she read those words, his suggestion that they "cool things off", the first thing that happened to Lily was anger. She felt a swell of rage and responded accordingly, telling him precisely what she thought about his suggestion.

After her anger subsided, though, Lily was overcome with a wave of intense emotions, and she immediately began to cry. She knew she had to get out of the common room, so she grabbed her things in a hurry and ran, aimlessly, until her feet brought her to the secret room she and her mates had used for a sleepover more than once. She selected the correct book to open the bookcase and immediately closed it behind her, collapsing on the small, squashy purple sofa and not even bothering to light the fire. The room was fairly small and low-ceilinged, but there was a sofa, a pouffe, and an armchair, all purple with gold trim, as well as a small, simple fireplace. Just enough room, all told.

Lily just cried for several moments, arms wrapped tightly around herself, sobs wrenching her entire body. She felt nauseous, overcome with betrayal and hurt. Finally, after almost ten minutes of straight crying, Lily opened her journal to write an entry begging her mates to come help her, but then she was faced with a fresh wave of tears when she saw James' ward again. She forced herself to write the entry through it, then kept the journal sitting on her lap to respond to the inevitable questions as best she could. Lily was digging the nails of her right hand into her upper left arm hard enough to draw pinpricks of blood, body still shaking with silent sobs and tears streaming down her face as she sat staring through the journal rather than at it.

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ungilded
2011-04-11 07:22 pm UTC (link)

When Lily emerged from being sick, her hands still clutched the side of the bucket, knuckles white. For a moment, she breathed heavily, eyes closed, trying to stop the world from spinning out of control. She was aware of her closest friends all around her, reassuring hands soothing her, holding her hair back, and she felt a rush of immense gratitude towards all of them. She took a deep breath and slumped back into a more normal seated position, setting the bucket on the floor next to her, eyes still closed.

She heard Kira ask Dorcas and Hestia something, but she wasn't really coherent enough to figure out just what that could be. For the moment, she just focused on her own breathing, trying to keep it steady and even, because at least that was something she could control in this situation.

When Kira took her hand, Lily squeezed it back, and at first didn't give an answer to the question. There was a moment of silence, and then she opened her eyes. The redness from her tears made the green stand out even more. "I can't believe I was so stupid to trust him. I knew better. And I don't know why I'm so upset." Even her voice sounded different, hoarse from sobbing and then being sick, and more than a little unsteady. Lily simply didn't feel like herself at all.

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