Just Rigby. (troubador) wrote in light_of_may, @ 2010-01-20 22:53:00 |
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Entry tags: | 2009-06-30 |
Try to leave a light on when I'm gone, something I rely on to get home
Who: Rigby and Fina Gallo
Where: Fina's apartment
When: Evening
What: A rough day leads to difficult decisions...
The migraine didn't show any sign of going away by the time Rigby returned to Fina's apartment. Between the demon's invasion on his mind and just passing people on the way back, the pain behind his eyes was just getting worse and worse. He had tried to sit and just play for a while, the feel of the acoustic familiar under his fingertips, but it wasn't enough. He needed peace that would last him longer than a few minutes.
Rigby needed to get away.
He didn't want to leave Fina. At all. He would take her with him if he could, but she had too much going on here - the radio gig, her family, her friends. He couldn't, wouldn't, ask her to walk away from that for him. All Rigby needed was a few days to get his head on straight and he'd come back to her. He had to come back to her - that much Rigby was sure of. It would help if he did have someone who would tag along, remind him that he couldn't give into his wanderlust indefinitely.
One name immediately came to mind: Graham. The fire elemental didn't seem to hate him so much anymore and now that Rigby's powers were out in the open, maybe things would smooth over between them. A few days' break might be just what they needed.
Hearing Fina coming up to the apartment, Rigby struggled to get into a sitting position on the couch. All the lights were off, save for one overhead light in the kitchen. He'd already gathered what few things he'd brought into the apartment, in a bag by his feet, the guitar next to him. It was going to break Fina's heart, him leaving, and his own with it. If only he could convince her he was going to come back, that this wasn't forever, maybe it would all be okay.
Her day had been shit. K-lee was a huge bitch. Thanks to her, there were small welts on her neck and the back of her left hand. Her lower back was sore and she felt like she could feel stupid little ants all over her skin. Every time her hair brushed the nape of her neck, she shivered and she hated it.
But seeing Chase had been good. It was nice to reconnect with him in person. He'd always been a really nice guy. Still, all she wanted was to go home and curl up with her man. Fina knew Rigby would make her feel better. She still had to tell Roxy what happened.
She opened the door and the first thing she noticed was that it was dark. "Rigby?" she called softly. Turning, she saw him on the couch. And then she noticed the bag and his guitar. Her bad day was about to get worse, wasn't it?
Rigby got up from the couch, one hand steadying himself on the back edge. Fina had never seen him with one of the migraines, because by the time he'd met her he knew how to control them, most of the time. He just wasn't prepared for demons. "Hey," he said, softly, flinching at the sound of her voice in his head. Bad day about to get worse.
"What happened?" he asked, noticing the welt on her hand. And who the hell was K-Lee? Her thoughts had never been overwhelming to him, but at the moment, everything could take him down easily, just like that demon had. Rigby couldn't just leave for a few days without knowing if she was okay.
"Ran into Roxy's ex. Think I took her down a peg." She wanted to smile, maybe just a little smirk, but Fina knew what was coming. Never had she figured it would happen so soon. That bag meant only one thing. He was leaving. She swallowed for a moment and was glad for the scarf around her neck, so he didn't have to see the rest of the welts. She felt weak enough as it was.
Her bag fell to the floor but she managed to make it look like she'd done it on purpose. But still, she didn't move further into the room. Fina didn't know what to say.
The fact that she knew made it that much harder. Letting go of the couch, Rigby took a few uneasy steps towards her, wondering if she'd be able to tell something was wrong with him by the way he moved. Most likely she would, and maybe it would help her realize that this wasn't her, it wasn't them, this was outside of his control. He just needed a few days. That's all.
"I'm guessin' she deserved it." Gingerly, he took the scarf from her neck, trying to see the sores on her neck in the dim light of the room. He'd flip the light switch, but it would blind him right now, make the migraine worse. "What in the hell did she do to you?"
Her breath quickened as he moved towards her and she saw his movements. Her brow furrowed and instantly she was concerned. "Garrett, what happened?" she asked softly. Something had caused this. Didn't make his leaving any easier. At least she knew it wasn't her. It didn't make her feel any better and a million thoughts ran through her head, that maybe she could have prevented this somehow.
He moved to take the scarf off and she touched his elbow. "She's a witch. And a bitch." Magic did this damage to her. In the morning, she'd see if she could find someone to help her out, heal her, but for now, there wasn't much else to be done. And she was more concerned with him leaving her.
Fina didn't call him Garrett all that often and whenever she did, it hit him hard, especially in moments like this. He could be Rigby to everyone else but to her, he was just Garrett, the man who'd promised he'd do right by her this time. "You ever think 'bout what would happen if a telepath met a demon?" he asked. "'Cause I wish I had." There was no way he could have known, and he knew that, but it still didn't make it any easier to accept. He'd wanted to take down the demon that attacked her, but he couldn't. Rigby would be helpless against them.
"Don't know any witches," he murmured. "If'n I did, you know I would..." His voice trailed off, and Rigby drew a few deep breaths. "Shit, Serafina. Everythin' is so fucked up right now."
A demon? She'd hated that she'd come up against one and now he had too. And it was driving him away. Reaching up, she cupped his cheek, swallowing again, as if that would help her contain her tears. It helped a little, amazingly. "And it's making you leave now?" she whispered. "What happened?" she repeated, wanting to know what it had done. If she'd had a different day, she might have been making threats to go kick this demon's ass, but today, she didn't know what to do.
Her other hand came up and she cupped his face in her hands. "Then let me help you fix it. Isn't that what we're supposed to do?" Her voice didn't raise above a whisper. She knew it wasn't strong enough for that.
Rigby wished it was different. That somehow he was stronger than this, that he'd be able to lift his head and look a demon in the eye and shoot it dead, like Graham had. With Rigby's gun, no less. "I could hear it," he admitted. Fina had known for a long while what he was - it wasn't like Graham and having to explain it all. "And it was like - hell broke loose or somethin'. Been a very, very long time since I let it get this bad. I couldn't stop it, Fina."
He leaned against her hands, letting his face drop forward. "It's dead. The demon. And I know how to fix my head, but it ain't nothin' you can help me with." Driving away from civilization, out into the woods someplace, where he could be alone. That was all he needed at the moment, peace, just until he could think straight again.
"Oh, baby," she murmured, moving her thumbs over his cheeks. That wasn't something she could imagine and she definitely didn't want to. Demons were horrible things and she couldn't even begin to picture what went on in one's mind. Nor did she want to. All Fina really wanted to do was hold him, as if she could make it all go away.
He needed to get away. Alright. "Let me come with you. Promise I won't think too loud," she offered softly, hoping for at least a soft smile from him. Leaning up, she pressed a kiss to his forehead, as if it were an injury that a child would come to his mother with, for a kiss to make the boo boo go away. "Please?"
Sometimes, when a thought was really strong, he'd always remember what it had been, carry it with him. Like the night his mother died, her thoughts had echoed in his brain for weeks afterward - and still would, if he thought about it enough. The demon was going to do the same thing to him. This wasn't something Fina could just kiss away and think he'd be okay in the morning. His last migraine had been when news of the Light of May broke, and it had taken him four days to return to normal - as normal as he got, anyway. He didn't doubt it would be the same now.
"Fina." Rigby brought his hands to hers, lightly looping them around her wrists, not wanting to hurt the sores he could feel against his palms. "You can't. I ain't - I ain't goin' forever. You got the radio thing and your friends and all and I can't - I can't ask you to just leave that on such short notice."
It hurt to hear him tell her she couldn't go with him. She wanted to, wanted to be there for him. That's what girlfriends did, right? "I can get someone to cover. We're just going through the planning stages now anyway. And Roxy'll understand." Fina could do this, she could go with him. It would take an email and a few texts but she could be out the door with him, driving so he didn't have to, so he could rest.
A single tear slipped down her cheek. "We can do this together, I promise."
"I know you want to be there, baby." He didn't want her to have to rearrange her life on his behalf, because he was fucked up. Rigby had never had anyone want to come with him like this, someone who cared about him enough to make sure he was all right. And he would be, he knew how to fix it. This relationship thing was all new to him. "You worked so hard for this, and even when a demon tried to fuck it up for you, you still got a second chance."
It was hard to touch her like he wanted when she was injured like this, and he was trying to resist the urge to crush her to him and never let her go. At the end of this, Rigby was going to have to let her go. "Ain't gonna be gone long - a few days. Really don't think I can stay away much longer than that, if'n I'm bein' honest." He drew another deep breath, "If'n I tell you I'll be back, will you believe me?"
"Doesn't matter. I want to be with you," she said softly. Rearranging didn't matter. They had gotten a second chance when he came to town. To her, that was so much more important. Fina looked up at him, eyes pleading. She didn't know if it would help, but she moved her hands and slipped them around him, holding him tight, as if that would change his mind, show him that she belonged with him, even if that took him out of town.
Looking up at him, she didn't want to say anything. If she said no, would he take her with him? But she couldn't lie. She nodded her head, biting her lip as another tear followed the track on her cheek. "Yes," she breathed. Knowing that didn't make this easier. It really couldn't. He was going away and she couldn't do anything. She couldn't help.
Fina clung to him and Rigby clung to her, tucking her against him, head resting on top of hers. "You are with me," he whispered. "And I belong with you. I know that now. No matter where I go or how long it takes me, I am yours. I will come back to you, Serafina. I give you my word."
If she said no it would break his heart. It would mean everything they'd been working toward would be shattered, but at least she believed him. For now. Pulling back a little, he kissed her temple, then brushed back her flame-red hair so he could look into her eyes. "I will come back," he repeated, "because I'm leavin' my heart here too. 'Cause I love you and if that ain't reason enough to trust me then I don't know what is." He'd been holding those words in for far too long, but he didn't care. They were out now and they were true and it was how he felt.
The tears were soft, not gut wrenching sobs. But she held on tight, not caring how her body was. If she held on tight enough, maybe she could pretend it wasn't happening. Still, Fina wasn't foolish enough to believe that would work.
As his lips touched her skin, her eyes closed and she tried to stop crying. She knew she had his heart. But there were three words in there that she had never said to him, that he had never said to her. While she'd known in her heart, hearing them out loud made her look up at him, surprised. "What did you say?" she asked softly.
The absolute last thing Rigby wanted was to make Fina cry. There was nothing he could do but hold her, his face close to hers and try to tell her through his touch exactly what he meant. Apparently his words weren't doing enough.
Then she looked up at him, surprised, and Rigby wondered if he'd overstepped some unseen bounds. This was how she felt too, wasn't it? This was what he'd heard in her mind, over and over again, that neither of them had ever said. Well, he had now and it was a bit late to take it back. "You heard me. I love you."
She didn't understand why he was leaving without her if he loved her, but she reached up, cupping his cheek again, needing to touch him. "I love you, too." They'd both known that for a while now. Saying it out loud, though, it felt different, like everything had changed. Fina knew it would be the reason he came back to her, this love, but this wasn't how she pictured them telling each other the first time.
"I wish you would let me come with you," she whispered softly. She was nothing if not persistent. Or stubborn. Take your pick.
She didn't know how rare it was for him to say that to someone. Rigby honestly couldn't remember if he ever had, if he'd ever stayed in one place to commit himself to a woman like that. His life was too fluid for most people, ever changing, and this was one of those times where Fina needed to give him a little flexibility. He wasn't asking for much, just a few days and then he'd be back. He couldn't, wouldn't, stay away for too long, not when he'd just found her again.
But she loved him back, and that was all that mattered. Rigby leaned down for a kiss, a soft one, not wanting this to hurt her as much as he feared it would. "Then that's all I need to know," he murmured. "And I know you want to come. But I can't ask you to drop everythin' 'cause I need to go wanderin' for a bit. Ain't fair to you."
Her heart actually hurt and she couldn't change that to make either of them feel better about this. If the demon wasn't already dead, she would likely torch it herself. Pulling back from the kiss, she looked up at him. There really wasn't much use trying to fight him on this, was there? Garrett was leaving. Taking a deep breath, Fina pulled herself from his arms and moved to the table by the door and picked up the key.
"Take this," she said, moving back over to him, holding out to him. He'd refused it before, but she hoped he'd change his mind.
Rigby watched her, knowing her thoughts and how much this hurt and hating that he was the reason why this was happening. He didn't want to leave. It was just his only option at the moment, the only way to cure the migraine. He'd give in to his wanderlust a little and he'd come back - he had to. Usually, when she thought of him as Garrett, it was something soft and sweet and loving. This time, it was heartbreaking.
"Fina," he murmured, looking at the key she held. Sighing, he took it from her, running his fingers over the grooves. "Won't be here if you're not here, you know that."
She looked at him, trying to be stronger. "Then I guess it's a good thing you're leaving me here. Cause this isn't home without you." Fina placed her hand over his holding the key. Her fingers smoothed over his hand. "This way I know you'll come back when you're ready." His words had worked for that, but this was it, the physical representation of his promise to return to her. And she wasn't going to back down from this.
If anything, that comment hit him in the gut, harder than he expected it to. Being with Fina felt right to him, but she considered this their home, and Rigby wasn't even sure he was capable of having a home, not in the way she thought of it. That was a comment that would stick with him through the next few days, he was sure. "I was gonna come back anyway," he said again, but he knew this was important to him. So he sighed, closing his hand over hers and bringing it up to kiss her fingers. "You got a chain layin' around somewhere?"
Fina felt home when she was with him. If she had known what he was thinking, she might have even mentioned that. The old saying went, "Home is where the heart is." Her heart was with him. Hence, he was her home. But being that he was the mind reader and not she, those thoughts didn't even cross her mind. All she was really thinking about was how she didn't want him to go. "Yeah." Pulling away from him again, Fina went into her bedroom, looking for a key ring. Finding none, she took a glass pendant off a chain and brought that out to him. "This is the best I can do," she said, taking the key and hanging it on the chain. "You could wear it around your neck?" she offered.
Rigby wasn't looking for a key ring, so when she came back with the chain, he gaver her the softest of smiles. "This is what I wanted, actually," he said, taking the chain from her and looping it around his neck, tucking it under his shirt. The metal was cold against his skin but he didn't care. It meant a lot to Fina for him to keep it on his person and that was what he'd do; he'd given her his word and damn it Rigby was going to keep it. "Ain't gonna take it off, 'til I'm back and can give it to you."
She placed her hand on the lump that was the key beneath his shirt. "You better not," she said softly, no malice intended. Fina still wished he wouldn't go and she wrapped her arms around him once more. "I wish you didn't have to go." But in her heart, she was starting to realize that he needed to do this alone. It didn't make it hurt less, but she knew it was something he needed to do. If he was ever going to be okay, he needed to get his head back to normal.
"It's not goin' to be forever," he said again. "A few days. No more than that. You are the tether that's keepin' me here, you know that. I just - I need to get out for a bit." He blew out a breath and held her to him for a long moment. "I'm gonna be better for you, Serafina, I promise you." His telepathy had held him back from a lot of things, his musical career, most relationships, and Rigby refused to let this get between them too. He kissed her forehead, her cheek, any place of her he could get to without moving his throbbing head that much.
"Just come back soon. I don't like you being out there by yourself, like this." She looked up at him. If it was this bad, she didn't want him to be vulnerable. But when he called her Serafina, she couldn't say anything else. He would be back. She had to believe that. Fina cupped his cheek. "Please be careful?"
He wouldn't be by himself, not if Graham came with him. If Graham was still planning on coming, who knew what the fire elemental would decide to do, in the end. Once the migraine was gone, Rigby would be fine, and he knew that. And then he would come back and everything would go back to normal - or at least, what normal was like for them. "I'll always be careful," he promised her. "You got my heart now. Don't think for a second that I won't be comin' back for it." He leaned in for a kiss, letting his mouth linger on hers for a few seconds longer than he intended. The longer he stayed, the harder it would be for him to walk away.
That kiss felt more like a goodbye kiss and she knew he was going to come back. Still didn't change anything about how she was feeling and the tears started again, softly rolling down her cheeks as she looked up at him. "Promise I'll keep it safe." Fina wanted him to stay, wanted to be there to help him. Maybe that was selfish or childish, but she'd just gotten him back and now he was leaving again. It didn't fully compute in her brain.
"I know you will, darlin'. Just like I'm hangin' on to yours." In reality he knew he could drag this out, stay here for the night, sneak out in the morning or something, but it wouldn't be fair. Fina knew he was going and the longer he stayed, the longer it would hang over their heads, the knowledge of it, what was going to happen. Better to get it over with now. "One more," he murmured, voice rough now, wondering if she knew how much this hurt him, too.
"You better," she said, trying to fake bravado and failing miserably. Sighing softly, she cupped his cheek. She didn't have to verbally say anything she was feeling. He knew well enough what would happen should he not come back. This time, though, it was different. It would hurt so much more if he didn't. Pulling his lips to hers, she kissed him with a purpose, a reminder of how much she loved him, how she needed him now, and how she needed him to be safe, to be able to come back to her. "I love you," she breathed.
He didn't need to be an empath to feel the emotion pouring through that kiss. In spite of the pounding in his head, Rigby lifted Fina up a little, dragging this kiss out, a soft groan escaping his lips. Of course he'd come back. He had to. He loved her too much to leave her behind now, not when everything seemed to be going so well between them. "I love you too, Serafina," he breathed against her, not wanting to pull away, but knowing he had to. Reaching behind him, he grabbed his guitar first, and then his bag. A thought hit him just then, "I have my cell phone, in the truck. If'n you want, I can call?"
His kiss left her breathless and she couldn't help the soft groan she let out when he pulled back. Telling him she wanted him to stay was practically useless. They both knew how she felt on the subject and they both knew what was going to happen. So she waited for him to pick up his things and tried not to cry. "I'd like that. Just to know you're alright." Fina wrapped her arms around herself.
"Then I'll call." Rigby wasn't big on phones and both of them knew that, but if it would make Fina feel better, then he would try. In that moment, seeing that look on her face, the tears she was holding back, he would have given anything in the world to make her happy again. At the moment, what he needed just didn't match up. This time, when he leaned in, he left a kiss on her cheek, hovering there for a second. "I love you," he whispered, the words new and yet not, because he'd known how he felt about her for a long while. "And don't you worry, I'll be back soon." With that, knowing it would just get worse the longer he stayed, Rigby headed for the door.