earthsheartbeat (earthsheartbeat) wrote in light_of_may, @ 2009-11-03 08:04:00 |
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Entry tags: | #solo, 2009-06-20 |
There is a game I play. Try to make myself okay.
Who: Myra and Alcaeus (NPC)
When: 11pm
Where: Lowell House
Being at home was odd to Myra. Before the camping trip, she would have gone to her room and sat her happy ass in front of the Wii so she could play some Mario Kart, but not now. Her heart rate quickened and she could almost feel the shackle on her ankle again. Her therapist -- the one her mother insisted that she talk with -- told her that it would be normal for her to have bouts of anxiety and fear out of nowhere, especially after such a traumatizing experience, but this was the last thing she wanted right then. She wanted Psalm to be there, in all honestly or one of her brothers. Anybody that was family or Freddie, really. Being by herself was not something that she wanted right then.
Myra pushed herself up out of her bed as her throat began to constrict. It's just a panic attack, she told herself as tears rolled down her cheeks and her chest heaved with each sob. You're not in that dungeon anymore, Myra. You'll never be there again. Just calm down. She continued to tell herself to be calm, but nothing worked. Before she knew what was going on, she fell to the floor and curled into the fetal position. It's just the body's natural chemical reaction to a threat. It's just a panic attack. It thinks there's a threat, so it released adrenaline. You're not in that dungeon anymore. Everything is going to be okay. Everything is going to be okay. Everything is going to be--, her thoughts sounded like a broken record now.
No matter how much she told herself that it was going to be okay, she really didn't think that it would be. Too much had happened. Some beast somewhere was probably drinking her blood and it made her feel disgusting. It made her feel like an animal. Memories of being locked away flashed through her mind and she curled tighter into herself. She would give anything to make it go away. All she wanted to do was go to sleep.
There was a soft stirring under her bed and then a fuzzy black ball of fluff pushed itself out into the open. Alcaeus padded over to where she was curled up on the ground and pressed his cold, wet nose against hers as he huffed.
Myra? his small, innocent voice sounded worried. What's wrong?
Tears continued to pour down her face as she tried to catch her breath. Her body felt numb and jelly-like. She slid a hand into the soft fur of her fuzzy companion. "I don't want to go back there, Alcaeus. I don't want to die in that dungeon," she whispered in a constricted voice.
The black bear cub sprawled itself next to her and rested his head onto his paws. You're home now, he projected to her and lightly pressed his nose against hers again in an attempt to reassure her. You'll never have to go back there, Myra. I promise. We'll get stronger together and you'll never have to worry about that place ever again.
Myra nodded as the tightness in her throat began to go away and she could breathe again. She knew that her fears were irrational, but she couldn't stop the terrifying memories from flooding her system. But when Alcaeus told her that she was home, her body finally began to relax. She was home. Her family were all sleeping in their beds and Alcaeus was right there with her. "Thank you," she said to him as she hugged him tightly.
Hey, hey! Easy on the fur, buddy! Even though he sounded disgruntled in her head, he leaned into the hug and rested his head on her arm with a content rumbly sound.
"I'm glad you found me," Myra smiled at him and scratched the back of his neck with a shaky hand. It was difficult for her to manage, but she wanted to pet him.
Me too. It took forever. Alcaeus yawned and caused moonlight to glint off of his canines. He kept his head on her arm and closed his eyes afterward. You should sleep. Tomorrow's a big day. He stretched for a second.
Just as she was about to ask Alcaeus why tomorrow was such a big day, she looked down and noticed that the bear was already asleep. A big smile appeared on her face as she looked down at her familiar. The relief was instant and it was all thanks to Alcaeus. She sighed before she pulled a pillow out of the chair next to her desk. The pillow was stuffed under her head quickly and before she knew it, she finally fell asleep.