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hiddenpsalm (hiddenpsalm) wrote in light_of_may,

Psalm pursed his lips as he tried his best not to cry. He wasn't exactly what you would call a pretty crier and he didn't let himself do it often after his parents died. Crying, like so much else, was a far more innocent act than someone forced to grow up in a day could work with. He held onto her as tightly as he could without hurting her as he realized she was holding back tears as well.

"Myra please," he pleaded with her, his voice strained. "I made you a promise and I failed you. I had a plan, it was a good plan too. But..." But Bunny went batshit and locked me in her basement. "I should have tried harder. Myra, nothing is worth it without you. There is no point to all of this without you. If you - If you had..." he couldn't even bring himself to say the word died because he just wanted it all to be over. But he needed to say this. He needed her to understand how truly sorry he was and how this really was all his fault - or at least in his head anyway. "Enough bad has happened to you, it should have been me that they took. It should have been me, Myra. You're so good and I'm nothing."

Even those words failed to convey what he was feeling. He was in love with her, yes, without a shadow of a doubt, but this went beyond that. The shining moments of his life were all with her. He couldn't even show himself to the Lowells after he knew what had happened. How could he ever look Michael in the eye and tell him that he didn't do enough to save her from being taken? He would still have to face the man eventually, but it was one step at a time. Myra first because she mattered most to him.