Emilia Kavanagh-Anders (becauseimwrong) wrote in light_of_may, @ 2015-02-27 10:09:00 |
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Entry tags: | 2009-10-16, desi, emilia |
was i there when i was taught how to lie?
Who: Desi and Emilia
Where: Desi's apartment
When: 8:30 p.m.
Emilia had never really had a use for her medication before. It had been something that existed to calm her down and keep her psychic abilities wrapped up in so much fluff that they had trouble showing. Doran had used it. Doran had used it a lot and Emilia hated him for it. She hated feeling like everything about her had been covered with a layer of cotton so thick that it was like she moved in a dream. Yes, she could get through the day and get everything she needed to do done, but it was not the same as when she had full control of herself. She had decided a long time ago that she liked herself better without the medications, random outbursts of objects flying around the room or not, and had stopped willingly taking them unless she was going to church or a dinner where her father was involved. That was why she kept a container in her purse, for just in case.
After she had put the children in bed, she had taken the pills. Four instead of two, but she hardly cared. She wanted that numbness and distance from herself. Needed it, really, and it was not like she had not taken more than that before. Doran had a problem of losing count when she fought back against him and she knew that she could handle at least twice of what she had taken without getting too sick. Not that she was planning on telling Desi any of that - and definitely not her mother, or Arwen. These were simply things that her sisters did not need to know, things that she had only ever vaguely mentioned to Nysa... I didn't take enough. Her heart had given a painful lurch and it was a good thing she was already parked, because her arms had twitched along with it. Don't pill and drive, Emilia. Someone somewhere had said that to her once and it was why she usually waited after taking her medication until she could successfully make a cup of coffee to drive anywhere. But today. Today was special.
Grabbing her purse - it was the most put-together thing about her today, though she had made the effort to change out of last night's pajamas into a new pair of sweatpants, complete with matching hoodie - Emilia made her way to the front door and slipped past an older man who was walking out. He might have said something to her, but she did not really catch it and was not in the mood to pretend being polite so she kept walking until she found the stairs. She stared at them with disinterest before she made the effort to climb them, which really was a bit harder than it should have been for someone in as good of shape as her. It just seemed to take forever until she reached the top and made her way down the hall to Desi's door. A few languid knocks later it opened and she gave her best attempt at a smile. "Heeey look, we match!" A shuffle brought her inside and the purse was dropped... somewhere because she did not feel like having it or her bzzing phone near her anymore. Lauren would get bored soon and leave her alone. "What kind of salad do I have to try to eat?"