AJ Bishop (feuer_frei) wrote in light_of_may, @ 2013-12-15 02:34:00 |
|
|||
Entry tags: | 2009-09-29, aiden, james |
When you made me feel joy it made you smile
Who: Aiden and James (and Lee the familiar)
Where: SOHS, Ballard House grounds later
When: Mid-morning
Aiden couldn't remember the last time things had just been normal. Ever since this Light of May thing it was just shit after shit after supernatural shit, and Aiden didn't know just how much more of this he could take. For a long while things had been bad - way, way worse than before he'd found James again, if he was honest. Back then he didn't have to worry about anyone but his familiar; it was easy going from hunt to hunt with the lads, living one day to the next with a backpack to his name. After James, though, and no matter how hard he'd tried to avoid that outcome, he had latched onto her even more than the first time around. He cared, now, he imagined future scenarios, he was open and raw and he was, first and foremost, completely useless. After the bridge things he could only imagine would come rushing back into James' psyche every so often, leaving her a mess and him a useless little blob of a man. At some point, however senseless he knew it was, Aiden had begun resenting James for their deteriorating relationship. And that was the worst, because obviously he knew it wasn't her fault at all. Quite the opposite. But Aiden wasn't good at blaming the invisible, the abstract. He had nothing and no one to lash out on over James' trauma. No one, that was, but her.
Not that he had - yet. If in his younger days he'd have literally lost his temper, raised his voice, set fire to the goddamn building in a fit of rage, this time around he just distanced himself. He pulled away more and more until these days he actually tended to avoid her. One day they'd solve this, he'd tell himself, but deep down a little bit of his mind was always pretty sure that wasn't true. It might if things calmed down, but they hadn't yet, they probably never would again and he didn't know how to deal with that.
In an effort to at least try his best he had volunteered to come lend his girl - this she remained, always - a hand at the high school since the dome thing had trapped everyone inside. William Ballard's house was, after all, a beacon to the supernatural community in need, and there was no way they wouldn't be representing it now after yet another tragedy of the sort. With the Anywhere But Here's owner's niece and nephew trapped inside along with Rowan, an employee, Aiden's place of work hadn't opened much since this all had started, and he'd been given pretty much every leave to come and go as he pleased. In theory, at least. It had given him ample time to consider there was fuck all he could do for these people, and in how many places he'd rather be while he sat there offering water, food and condolences-but-not-really to the poor sods with family and friends trapped inside.
Bored out of his mind, Aiden uncrossed and crossed his legs again for the tenth time in the last five minutes, sighing audibly. "Fucking useless." He muttered. He wasn't even good at lending a hand, however bright his flame burned. He should be warm but right now he was anything but, and that hurt as much as anything.