There were so many emotions pulsing through Blair that she thought she was going to have an episode in the middle of the street. She was upset and disappointed in Neal - as always - but there was also a lingering feeling of...guilt? at his farewell tone of voice. He sounded disappointed in her and that made her want to go throw up. Rummaging through her purse for her hidden stash of cigarettes, a strange thought ran through her mind. Her voice repeated sarcastically her opinions about college funds. That in and of itself was confusing as there was no reason for her to be sarcastic of that. Blair accepted it as part of life and had no regrets about not going to college. She didn't have enough time to process her feelings on the subject, however, as something else passed through her mind. A scolding male voice told her that women should be able to pursue knowledge just like men.
Pausing her rummaging to look around, Blair didn't immediately see anyone who had spoken to her. Brows furrowing, Blair blinked twice to process what she'd just heard. Or not heard. Thought, she supposed. That was ludicrous. She must have just been repeating something she'd heard someone say. Probably Fiona, although the male voice suggested it had been Declan. Now that was even more confusing. Declan and Blair had a terse relationship and her brother would never have said that to her outright. Neal, perhaps? She'd blocked out so many of his opinions that it could very well have been her husband's attempt at convincing her the college funds for the girls were a good idea. But it wasn't Neal's voice in her head. It was someone else's...and she couldn't even tell if the voice had been one she recognized.
I am having an episode, she told herself. I should seen someone for this. No, what am I thinking? Of course not. I would never hear the end of it from my parents. Bringing herself back to her thoughts about the college funds, Blair rubbed the frown from her face by pressing a finger to the middle of her forehead. Women may be intelligent, Neal, but it's not their place to go to college. We were made to be wives and mothers and why can that never just be enough for you? Blair huffed in her imaginary conversation with her husband. Because she'd decided that it had been Neal who had told her that at one point and brought it all up. Are you disappointed I didn't go to college, Neal, is that it? Well, I'm sorry I was too busy making a home for us, damnit.