InsaneJournal

Quinn's fears that Chase was not at all at home were quickly allayed when the door opened and revealed him... in his pajamas. Before she had the time to blush or smile and say hello, she was quickly ushered inside of the house. She stumbled coming over the stoop at the door and nearly dropped her umbrella outside in the rain, but she managed to right herself by holding onto Chase's arm before turning and closing her umbrella and propping it next to the door so she didn't let water drip all through his house. And still yet before she could offer him a greeting, she had a reaction she had not been expecting at all. While his tone was not angry, Quinn felt like a child who was scolding for doing something she ought not to have. She shrugged a little and smiled sheepishly before looking down at her feet. "I guess not."

She shifted awkwardly in her boots and traced her thumb against the plastic loop of the bag in her hand. She hoped that the sandwiches inside had remained safe from the weather; she'd taken the time to put them all into Ziploc baggies, so she was fairly certain they were of the un-soggy variety. She had also placed a small bag of greens for Virote into the bag, hoping that the lizard would appreciate them. At his question, her head jerked up and she shook her head quickly. "Oh no, everything's fine!" She assured him. Her gaze dropped again, though, mostly out of embarrassment, but also because allowing her gaze to linger on Chase for very long was causing her cheeks to grow rather warm.

"I-I made these for you. There's something for Virote inside too. It's nothing fancy; I'm a good surgeon, but cooking has never been a strength of mine." And now the rambling started. She mentally kicked herself. Quinn couldn't shake this feeling of humiliation and she was berating herself for not calling before dropping by. She held the bag out so Chase could take it if he wanted, though she was aware of the water dripping down the sides. "I'm sorry," she said suddenly. "I shouldn't have just popped in without calling. I didn't mean to interrupt your day, I just thought I'd check on you. I'll just go," she moved towards the door.

As lost as Chase must have felt, Quinn was just as lost. She wouldn't know what to do were she in his position, accepting a guest that had just stopped by without any word or warning, but she had also never been so compelled to drop by somewhere unannounced to surprise someone. Needless to say, this was quickly turning into one of the most awkward exchanges she'd ever had and she was mentally swearing to herself that she would always call someone before visiting. If she had known his train of thought, she would have corrected him; she was sure he was more than capable of taking care of himself. Her desire to surprise Chase had simply extended to the gesture of paying him back for lunch the other day. She didn't know why she wanted to surprise him, other than the fact that surprising him might make him smile and Quinn decidedly liked seeing that.

When he caught her by the arm and dismissed the notion of her leaving, she was still feeling embarrassed over her lack of thought going into this visit. But his phrasing and his light-hearted attempt at forbidding her from leaving caused her to smile and laugh lightly. "Alright then," she nodded, her dark hair bouncing slightly. "I'll stay, but only if you're sure I'm not interrupting. I'd hate to keep you from your work." Before she followed him towards the kitchen, Quinn was sure to pull her rain boots off and leave them next to the door with her umbrella. Normally, she would not have been so presumptuous as to just take her shoes off in someone's house that she had never visited before, but she didn't want to track mud.

She took the mug of hot chocolate and glanced around Chase's home. She had seen another, older man there, but now he was nowhere to be seen. She wondered if he lived here with Chase to help take care of him; he certainly didn't look like he was related to the Australian. You're welcome, Quinn thought. She found it even more bizarre to talk to the lizard when she couldn't see him than talking to him at all in the first place. She wondered why he hid this ability to share his thoughts from Chase, but she felt that it wasn't her place to be poking about and asking such personal questions that she probably wouldn't understand the answers to. She relished the heat of the mug, holding it between both of her hands before she turned it up and swallowed a large gulp. Almost more than the sweetness of the chocolate, Quinn loved the way the heat traveled down her throat and settled into her stomach; the fact that she couldn't be burned anymore, now that was a nice little bonus. "Thank you," she gestured with the mug slightly. "It's fantastic."

Quinn moved to sit down next to Chase at the table. "What were you grading?" She asked both to try to leave her embarrassment behind and also because she was interested.

Leaning her back against the chair, Quinn pulled one leg up so that she was she was hugging her knee to her chest. The front of her jeans were wet from walking in the rain, but she knew they would be dry in almost time at all; something about being so warm tended to evaporate the water right from her clothes. She knew she was warmer than she used to be, but she didn't feel any different as far as temperature was concerned. The biggest difference was now her showers were hotter, she wanted spicier foods, and there was no need to wait for her coffee or hot chocolate to cool before she could take that first sip. These were things that other people could pick up on, she knew, but her thoughts didn't really linger on what other people were thinking of her. At least, not if they were noticing a difference in how she handled hot things. The biggest thing she knew her coworkers noticed was her demeanor; where she had once been very cool and professional, she was now trying to establish commonality with them. She wanted friends.

She swallowed another large gulp of hot chocolate, licking her lip afterwards to make sure she didn't have a moustache lingering behind and reached for one of the sandwiches as she listened to Chase describe the work he was grading. Back when she was going to school, anthropology would never have interested her. Sure, her field of study centered around people too, but she had always been more concerned with what was going on inside their bodies, not what happened around them. Yet, she found that she was completely enraptured in the way that Chase described the assignment and where his class was headed after that. She could actually see how interesting it must be to study people and their lives over periods of history. That didn't mean she found it as fascinating as the procedure of a triple bypass, but still she was intrigued.

"You seem to really enjoy it. Teaching that is," She smiled, nibbling at the edge of her sandwich. "I never had the patience to teach. I mean... before." She frowned slightly. "I wasn't really very... people-friendly, I guess." She leaned over and glanced at one of the charts on top of his pile, wondering how hers would be laid out. Her parents at the top, a little triangle and circle that branched out above two more circles with her and her sister's names etched underneath. Quinn's line would end with her circle, but Amelia's... Quinn was sure her sister was married by now, maybe even a mother. She blinked twice when she felt her eyes beginning to sting. Now was not the time for those thoughts.

"So what about yours? Have any brothers and sisters on your chart?" She hoped her smile was bright enough to hide the darker thoughts that were circling inside of her mind. Almost every day she thought of her sister, but she had yet to really try and reconnect with her.

"A motorcycle?" Quinn laughed, the sound just a little shrill while the image of her straddling a motorbike danced around in her head. "I don't know..." She trailed off, still grinning. She knew the statistics; how many accidents involving motorcycles ended in death? But just how thrilling would it be to ride down an open highway with nothing around her besides the air. It'd be like flying... really close to the ground. Okay, so maybe she had sworn years and years ago that she would never ride on one of those death machines even if her life depended on it. Now? Now, Quinn was adding it to a mental bucket list. She'd hate to miss out on an experience like that just because she was afraid once upon a time. She doubted that she'd ever really have time to learn how to drive one herself, but maybe riding one that was being driven by someone else was more possible.

She listened while Chase showed off his chart, following the lines to each of his siblings and the children they had. "Six?" Her eyebrows shot up towards her hairline when he mentioned how many nieces and nephews he had from his sister. Quinn just couldn't imagine having so many children. Not that there was anything wrong with it, but as someone who had never really put thought into having children some day, six just seemed like an obscenely large number. She didn't even know what it took to raise one child, let alone a whole -- what was it Chase had said? -- brood. She hoped her reaction didn't offend Chase; she didn't think that six children was the typical number that people usually settled on when discussing their offspring. She did notice, however, that there was no line extending from Chase's symbol to any children or even a wife. The information wasn't exactly news; she'd known from dealing with him before that he handled all of his business on his own and that his file stated his marital status, but there was something about seeing all that white space on his chart that that pulled at her heartstrings. With such a large family back home, was Chase really here all alone? "Do you get to see your family much?" She asked as he flipped the page over.

When Chase asked if she wanted to share her own chart, Quinn realized she was torn. She wanted to give the chart a try, just to see what it'd look like down on paper, but she also didn't want to delve back into thinking about her family. It wouldn't have been so bad if she had spoken to them in the past... how long had it been now since she'd left? Years. Years since she'd even spoken to her sister. She frowned, her lips twisting in thought. She knew that months ago, she wouldn't have even hesitated. She reached out and took the red pen. "My parents were both only children," she told him as she drew her grandparents' symbols and lines leading down to her parents. "Mine does not have nearly as many as yours," she drew the line down to her and her sister, Amelia. When she got to Amelia's line, she paused. She didn't even know if her sister was married or had children. She held the pen against the paper, stunned. The red ink seeped into the paper, creating a large red dot.

Finally, she blinked and looked down at the paper. She pulled the pen away and gently pushed the chart towards Chase. "Sorry..." Her voice was quiet, but she wasn't sure exactly how to explain herself.

Quinn's smile was sincere and thoughtful while she considered what life with a motorcycle would be like. Especially with the way Chase described it. "I think just riding one at all would be a better place to start -- higher speeds might have to wait a while." When he claimed he had no experience riding so fast and free, Quinn's eyebrow quirked upwards. "Really?" Her tone betrayed her disbelief. "Never gave into the urge to be so reckless?" She was still grinning when his teacher voice came out. "Yes, sir Professor Willoughby, sir!" She resisted the temptation to salute, but a giggle still escaped past her lips.

"A big family sounds nice. Loud and trying, I'm sure, but nice just the same." For someone who had never concentrated on marrying someone or having children, Quinn had to admit that a houseful of people at the end of the day really had a nice ring to it. Especially considering the way that her house was so empty now. The first week after her transformation, Quinn was so put off by the quiet in her house that she came home and immediately began to play music to fill the space. It was one of many factors that had her seriously considering adopting a pet. She'd never really thought about what it would be like to come home and have someone there to greet her warmly or to wrap their arms around her; romance was a notion her parents and sister fantasized about easily, but it had always been foreign to Quinn. And now? Now she was struggling with just making friends; trying on the dating shoes made her all shades of uncomfortable.

"It's okay," She let Chase take her pitiful excuse of a chart away from her. She was quieter now, a little more subdued. "I'm no stranger to how things are with my family. And I've always been bothered by it to some extent... but it's not been until, well, you know that I've been this affected by it." She stared down at the table, at their hands together. Though she could see Chase's hand envelope hers and she could feel the warmth from his hand, the only thing that registered in her mind was the sense of comfort that came from the gesture. "I was always different from my family; more mature, I think. I never really fit in, but they accepted me. Amelia, my sister, and I were totally different. She's my twin, so I think we really surprised everyone with just how different we were. I don't think I've spoken to her since I moved here." Quinn swallowed to keep the tears in her eyes from growing larger and spilling onto her cheeks. She was quiet for a long minute as she listened to the rain pounding on the roof.

"I'm so sorry," She licked her lips and straightened in the chair. "I am not being good company right now and that was not my intention at all when I came over." She needed something else to talk about, so she latched onto something Chase had said a moment earlier. "So, you worked on the ranch when you were a child?" There was no judgment to her voice; Quinn was purely curious and asking questions seemed like a greatly way to change the subject. "I've never known someone who has worked like that -- for so long I mean. I don't know anything about ranches either. Do you ever miss it? I mean, I know you're here and you love to teach, I just thought... Sorry." She stopped herself. "I'm rambling. Please feel free to tell me to hush -- I don't mean to sound nosy or put you on the spot with so many questions. I'm..." She trailed off as she thought about her next words.

"I wasn't very good at being polite or making friends. But I want to be now. I just don't know when enough turns into too much."