Every Couple has Disagreements Who: Jessalyn and Madock When: Morningish and on Where: Madock's car!
While everyone at Charlotte's was piling into cars, Jessalyn was happy that she was going to be getting Madock all to herself. Not that she minded other people driving with them, but she didn't want to worrying about embarrassing them during a three hour car ride. With Madock, she could be herself and she knew he wouldn't judge her for it. She didn't bring much, only a small bag with some clothes, a sleeping bag and pillow, all of which fit in Madock's trunk. Once they were on their way, Jessalyn took Madock's hand to hold while he drove, simmering with excitement. "I can't remember the last time I slept outside," she said. "I mean, other than being in wolf form. Especially with so many people! Have you ever been on a trip like this with your friends before?"
Madock had tucked his own things into the trunk, mostly the same things that Jessalyn had brought. And the tent of course. He was glad he got to ride alone with Jessalyn too. His fingers laced through hers and when she asked him that question, he nodded. "Yeah. I went camping about a year or so ago with some guys from the team. I have the feeling though that this is gonna be way more fun." she smiled.
She grinned and settled back in the seat. "I hope so. There's a lot of us going though, and I don't know the other kids all that well. I'll try not to hog up all your time, though." Jessalyn was glad Ransom would be there too. She felt more comfortable with him there, and she could keep an eye on him the same way she could watch out for Madock. Not that she thought anything bad would happen, but with so many teenagers... you never knew. "I hope everyone gets along."
"Well I guess I'll just have to start introducing you around then. I mean you already know your brother and Charlotte and my sister... and Gabe. I don't know a lot of the other people either now that I think about it. I mean... I know of them, but not really know them. Never mind, that's confusing." he chuckled. Leave it to Madock to confuse his own self. "You can hog up as much of my time as you want." he told the girl. "I like when you hog my time."
"No, it's not confusing. I understand what you're saying," Jessalyn assured him, squeezing his hand gently. "And I'm glad you like it when I hog your time, because I know I do it an awful lot." She shifted in her seat and bent over to kiss him on the cheek. That was the thing about driving, she couldn't kiss him the way she wanted to. "And you're right, I know Gabe and your sister. Do you think they'll share a tent then, since you and I are?"
"Probably." he nodded. "Um... Jessa?" Madock began. "Do you... do you know about Gabe?" he asked her. He wondered if she could smell Gabe the way that Gabe could smell her. Probably. Most likely since she was born into it and he was just bitten.
She rested back in her seat and studied his profile for a moment before she nodded. "Yes, I know... I knew his scent before he was bitten, and it changed significantly after. Did he finally tell you then? Or did your sister?"
"He told me. He was afraid that I wouldn't want to move in with him still once I found out but... with you... I mean, I couldn't really be pissed off about it or anything, right? And I'm not, I mean... he's still Gabe and everything. Just a little more now. And it doesn't change how I feel about you, so why should it change how I feel about Gabe?" At least that was how Madock felt. Of course maybe it should change everything, but whatever, it didn't. Not a bit. "I thought he was joking at first." Madock admitted. "Because of the talk I'd had with Claire about you. I thought she might have told him."
Jessalyn nodded. "Bitten weres aren't so very different from born weres... it's just, they aren't themselves on the night of the full. As long as Gabe is locked up that night? Then you guys should be okay. Like you said, he's still Gabe. He's just a bit furry now." She smiled at Madock. "I'm glad you're taking it well. I think he and your sister are more than likely going to be mates, you know? So you're going to be stuck with him for a very long time. It's fun though! Both you and your sister are dating werewolves."
"You think they'll be mates?" he questioned, looking over at her. "I mean... I wouldn't mind it, but I... what if he and Claire like... do that and... she changes her mind? I mean, not that she would, she might not, but... I was wondering... What happens if a werewolf mates with someone and then they can't be with them for some reason?" Madock finally asked.
Jessalyn figured she was maybe a romantic at heart. She was ecstatic that Ransom had found Charlotte so young, so she didn't think it was implausible that Gabe had found someone too. "If she changes her mind... well, wolves who lose their mates risk going insane. He wouldn't be able to let her go, even if she didn't want to be with him. I'm not saying he would go nuts and try to hurt her, but...he would more likely be miserable for the rest of his life."
Madock frowned at that and shook his head. "That sucks." He muttered. He couldn't imagine loving someone so much that it drove you insane if they weren't with you. "Well... I don't think that she'd just change her mind... I was just curious."
"Claire seems smart enough that she wouldn't make a decision like that lightly," Jessalyn offered. She supposed for some weres, it did suck. Not for Jessalyn though. "I've always found it kind of romantic. I mean, at least in most circumstances. Obviously you have some of bad situations, where a were falls in love with a non-wolf and that person doesn't feel the same, or they change their mind after it's too late for the werewolf. But I know when you find your mate, it's an all encompassing kind of emotion. I've always thought of it as love, but intensified, you know? If that makes any sense. I'm totally rambling."
He listened to her quietly as she talked. "Claire wouldn't just have sex with him and leave. Hell, she's probably more afraid of him leaving her, but she knows about the whole mating for life thing and I doubt she'd do that and just walk away. That's not Claire." He gave Jessalyn's hand a little squeeze as they pulled up to a stop sign and leaned over to give her a little kiss. "And for the record, if we... ever... did that, I wouldn't just leave you either, okay?"
Jessalyn's lips twitched thoughtfully. "If she's afraid of him leaving her, well... once they have sex, those fears will be totally unfounded." Claire had always seemed like one of those students who would leave Scarlet Oak after high school and have this fabulous career and stuff. But she was staying here, so... who knew? Maybe it was because of Gabe. To Jessalyn, that was a very significant decision too. She accepted the kiss and gave Madock a smile. She didn't really know what to say, but it was sweet anyway. She didn't know for sure what he would do, and neither did he. Their relationship was so new, even if it didn't feel that way.
Turning his attention back to the road, he let out a little sigh. "You don't believe me, do you?" Madock asked her. "Look, Jessalyn, I know that we haven't been dating that long, and I don't have any reasons to really be able to tell you for sure what I would and wouldn't do, but see, being with someone... like that... means something to me too. Maybe I wouldn't feel completely bound to them the same way you would, but I wouldn't leave them. I wouldn't want to. I want to stick with the person I end up with." he explained. "That probably sounds kind of stupid, but whatever. Just the way I feel. Probably sounds more stupid because I'm a boy."
"It's not that I don't believe you," Jessalyn promised. "It's just that... you can't see the future. Or what might happen. You might say that you wouldn't leave me now, but if we had sex... and then a couple months later something happens? I just..." Jessalyn sighed through her small smile. "I really like you, Madock. And what you said doesn't sound stupid. But I know that right now, I couldn't even think about putting you in that position. Not that I'm saying... I mean, I know we're not thinking about that now anyway! But the last thing you need to worry about is having me stalking you if we were to break up."
"Yeah." he muttered, trying to brush off the topic. It was somewhat depressing and he'd really rather not talk about it at all. He kept quiet for a while after that, trying his best to think of something other than mating and stalking. It was a little harder than he thought to get his mind to just push onto something else. It amazed him just how complicated dating a wolf made things, even if he wanted to pretend that it didn't complicate anything. Sure sex was important to him now, but he'd never had it. Jessalyn was right, he didn't know the future. He couldn't guarantee that he'd want to be with her forever. He shouldn't even be thinking about it to begin with.
Jessalyn let the silence linger for a few minutes, chewing on her bottom lip as she watched the scenery rush by them. She thought maybe she had upset him, or something, but Jess didn't like lying just to make people feel better. Most of the time she never really thought about those things as she spoke. She just said what she thought, which probably wasn't always welcome. Finally she looked over at him, brushing her thumb over his knuckles. "I don't mean to upset you about it. I just don't want to end up being the reason you find yourself in a bad situation. If I had my way, it would be totally different, but I'm not stupid enough to think you might not every meet someone else, or something like that. All I can do is go with my instinct, and what I feel is right."
Madock sighed and pulled his hand from her grasp, letting it find the steering wheel and shaking his head. "Jessalyn, I don't want to talk about it anymore. We're not having sex anyway, so it doesn't really matter, now does it?" The words came out a lot more harshly than he meant for them to and he immediately felt bad about it. "I'm sorry." he told her. "That came out... totally like I didn't want it to come out." he muttered.
Her smile slipped when he pulled his hand away and she brought hers back to her lap, feeling a strange sort of feeling in her chest for a few seconds. "Okay," she said, forcing her lips into a bright smile again as she blinked and looked away from him to the window. "We don't have to talk about it. I didn't mean to push it or anything."
He frowned when she looked away from him. That didn't make him feel better. Really it just made him feel a whole hell of a lot worse for snapping at her like that. Reaching over again, he let his hand find hers. "Hey... I really am sorry okay? I didn't mean to snap at you." Inwardly he cursed himself for acting a little more like his dad everyday. Bastard. "Don't be mad at me, okay?"
She looked down when he took her hand again, and all she felt now was confusion. It was like he was upset with her, and now he was asking her not to be mad at him? Her brows drew together in mild curiosity as she lifted her gaze from their hands to his face. "I'm not mad." Jessalyn did not get mad that easily. She would rather hide than be mad at anyone. "I just... I upset you. I didn't mean to. I won't bring up the mating thing anymore, I promise. I'm sorry." She felt like maybe it was something she needed to try and make him understand, but he was right. They weren't having sex, so maybe it didn't even matter.
"You didn't upset me." he was quick to assure her. "I just... I feel a certain way about things and it's like you're telling me I don't know how I feel or something. I don't know. It's stupid. Don't worry about it, okay?" Madock said, shaking his head a little and trying to focus on the road instead of the aggravation with himself that seemed to bubble in his chest. Why can't you just shut the fuck up and leave her alone?
"I'm not! I swear, I'm not trying to tell you anything like that," Jessalyn said quickly, a guilty sort of feeling bubbling up inside of her. She hadn't meant for it to come across that way. "It's not stupid. I understand what you're telling me, Madock. I know that when you're finally with a girl in that way, you want it to last. You said you wanted to stick with the person you end up with, but I guess I just... I didn't know, don't know, if that girl is going to be me. Not because I wouldn't want to be, but because..." She trailed off and blew a frustrated noise between her lips. "I'm sorry. I said I wouldn't talk about it anymore." It was just strange, filtering herself. Or trying to. She didn't want to start an argument, and she'd already upset him once. She just wanted to have fun with him over the next couple of days. Not let this whole thing hover over them.
Madock sighed and let go of her hand again. "You don't know if it won't be you either." he mumbled to himself. He didn't even take the time to realize that she'd be able to hear him no matter how quietly he'd whispered the words. The car ride had just started, they still had the whole rest of the way to the camping area and they were already having their first argument. Good things never lasted apparently. And it was all his fault for being stupid and not just keeping his mouth shut. "It doesn't even matter. It probably won't be you..." He'd meant it more because he thought she deserved better, but it came out sounding like he didn't want her to be. He didn't bother correcting his tone, merely forced himself to concentrate on the road ahead.
And there he went taking his hand away again. Jessalyn nearly grabbed it to keep ahold of, but she didn't want to irritate him. So she settled it back in her lap. She didn't know it if wouldn't be her, and Jessalyn knew deep down she wanted it to be her, but she had been taught to know the significance of mating. Not only what it meant for them, but what it meant for the person they chose. Jessalyn was just stupid enough sometimes to make that choice and deal with the consequences should they come, but she didn't want to do that to Madock. Not yet. Her gaze snapped up to his face when he said it didn't matter again, and she wanted to protest and tell him it did matter, but... there really seemed to be no reason to. She blinked again, a couple times now, and any semblance of a smile faded completely from her lips. Jessalyn began to chew on the inside of her cheek anxiously, and she looked out the window again, focusing on the trees, and the street signs, and anything else that passed by.
Silence. The one sound in the world that meant a whole shit load of things. Sometimes silence was good, or frightening, happy, sad. Right now, it was shitty. There was tension in the space between them. So much so that Madock could probably have reached up and slid his hand through the mess, cutting it like hot metal of a knife through butter. Being just a touch stubborn, he didn't want to break the silence first. He probably upset her. He knew he almost certainly upset her. For a long moment he just thought about that, his brain bouncing back and forth between apologizing and the ways he might be able to avoid having to speak for the rest of the trip. "I don't want to argue with you." he finally said. "This... this that's been going on for the last ten minutes is completely stupid." he muttered. "I like you, you know I like you. And yeah, part of me really thinks that you might be it for me, but I know that's stupid and irrational and there's no such thing as love at first sight. Maybe I'm just a horny teenager who can't handle it or something, but fact is, I like you and if I have sex with you, I'm not going anywhere. You have the choice to believe that or not believe it, or think I'm completely insane for even thinking it, let alone saying it, but it's the truth."
Jessalyn was equally as stubborn, though it wasn't like she was trying to hold out. She had just learned that being quiet was probably the best way to keep him from getting upset again. And her throat was a bit dry, so silence was probably for the best. When Madock began to speak again, she didn't look at him, but kept her eyes on the road ahead. She waited until he was finished before she cleared her through quietly and spoke. "I guess you're confusing sometimes," Jessalyn told him. "Because you just said that it probably wouldn't be me... and now you're saying that a part of you thinks it might be. And there is such thing as love at first sight, but I don't think that's happened to you, because we've been going to the same school for a really, really long time, and I know you've probably seen me at some point," she pointed out with a faint smile. "I don't think you're insane. I don't think you're stupid. I know you like me, Madock. I like you too. But for a decision that big, it has to be more than 'like'."
Madock sighed. "I said that because I was aggravated." he muttered. "And I'm not stupid enough to think that you're just going to hop into bed with me, Jessalyn." he sighed. "This is stupid. Maybe I just shouldn't talk anymore. That probably works better because everything I want to say comes out all jumbled and makes me look like a fucking idiot and I'm really sick of it."
"I understood everything you said," Jessalyn said. "Nothing sounded jumbled to me, and you didn't look like an idiot. I think you have to be able to talk to me about this stuff at some point, Madock, without getting aggravated, or frustrated. Because you say things like that, and it hurts, and then I don't know what to believe." She sighed and pushed her hair back behind her ear. "I believe you when you say you want to stick with the person you sleep with. Whether it's me, or it's not, that's your decision. I like you," she said again, looking over at him finally. "A lot more than I've liked any boy. We've been dating only a short time, but I already feel like I've been with you for a long time and I don't know if anyone else would really understand that, but I don't care. I know how I feel, and I know I'll make the right choices when it's time to. I just... need for you to be able to talk to me and not totally shut down because you don't like where the conversation is headed, or you get frustrated with it."
"What am I supposed to do, Jessalyn? Yell at you, like my dad yells at my mom? I shut down so I don't do that. I don't want to be like him, I don't want to sit here and force my opinion on you, I don't want to talk about it because it just makes me aggravated because everything I want to say comes out the way I don't want it to come out. I just fuck everything up." His voice was a lot louder than he'd meant it to be and he'd done just what he'd wanted not to do. He swallowed and shook his head, biting his bottom lip so hard he could taste the blood on his tongue. "I'm sorry I yelled at you..." he said softly. "I'm sorry I brought it up in the first place. We'll figure it out when we get to it. If we get to it. Let's just... not talk about it anymore, okay? Please?"
She sighed softly but nodded. "Okay." Maybe they would never have to talk about it. She wanted to believe that he might want to be with her, but this conversation had gone so badly, she was having more doubts now. Maybe it was just supposed to be summer love. And once school started, and he went to college, things would shift and change, just like she was afraid they might. Jessalyn chewed on her lip for a second before settling back against her seat. "There's supposed to be water at the property we're going to camp at... we could swim, if you wanted. Ransom said something about jet skis, but I don't know how good I would be at something like that. Have you ever been on one before?" It was the best she could do to change the subject. Bring up something positive. Or at least more positive.
"Yeah." he nodded. "I've been on one before. They're not that hard to handle... you could ride with me if you wanted to." Madock told her. The conversation almost felt forced now and he really didn't like it. At all. Like a ping-pong ball, he bounced back to the last topic. "I'm sorry, Jessa. Okay? For being mean to you. About everything, alright?" He offered his hand out for the girl and shrugged one shoulder. "I guess I just... I don't know... I don't know what I want to say and I get aggravated because I think I do and then realize I don't and... I just made a mess of everything and I really don't want to argue with you, that's the last thing I want, okay? I get where you're coming from, I do. I just wish I knew how to just say that without being so nasty. I'm not... I'm not usually like that..."
"You weren't mean to me," she assured him, taking his hand again when he offered it back to her. "I don't want to argue with you either. I don't think there's any reason to argue in the first place." Jessalyn paused for a moment. "Are you... I mean, does it upset you? Knowing where I'm coming from?" She knew she had upset him in the past twenty minutes or so, but a part of her wasn't sure what had been so terrible about what she said. "You weren't nasty about it, you just got frustrated, and I understand that. Maybe I was the one not explaining myself properly."
"No... no I get it." he told her, lacing his fingers through hers again. "I just... I don't want you to feel like you'd be forcing me into it... like... I don't want you to think that if we did that that I would feel like I had to stick around. Because I wouldn't. I mean... I would... but not because I felt I had to, but because I'd want to. Fact is, if I get to the point where I'd want to be with you like that, I'd be pretty damn positive that I'd want to be with you forever. I'm not just going to say that I want to do it now... I don't. Honestly I probably wouldn't even know what I was doing and it would suck and... if it's something that's going to bind us together, I'd rather at least feel more confident about doing it....." He flushed a little and sighed. "I sound like a total dork and sometimes I don't even make sense to myself. Look, I just don't want you to feel like you'd be forcing me into it. I don't want you to think that."
"I don't think that," Jessalyn said confidently. "Because I know you're smart enough to make your own choices without having some girl push you into them." It was such a lovely thought, Madock wanting to be with her forever. She knew if Ransom and Charlotte could feel that way, then she and Madock could. Jessalyn just wanted to get to the point where they were both on the same, permanent kind of page. She grinned a tiny bit and pulled her hand from his to run it through the hair over his ear. "I really doubt it would suck, Madock. In fact, I think if it ever happens, it's going to be pretty good. Fantastic, even. Because it'll be with you."
He flushed a little when she said all those nice things. Madock still didn't have much confidence in that particular field, but he supposed it might not matter. If the person he was with hadn't ever done that either, they could learn together. Right now, it really didn't make a difference. He was alright with waiting. He gave her a little smile and nodded. "Thanks." he told her, reaching up to take her hand again and pulling it to his lips so he could kiss her knuckles. "If not, we have forever left to practice." he smirked.
"That is true," Jessalyn said with a laugh. She smiled when he kissed her knuckles, thankful that he wasn't upset with her anymore. She was never comfortable in tense situations, as she tended to make things worse when she spoke in an effort to make things better, but this one seemed to have passed pretty quickly. Jessalyn knew she would probably have to avoid this particular topic in the future, just to avoid potential arguments. "You're really good at what we have done so far, so I've got all the confidence in the world in you."
Madock bit his bottom lip and flushed a deeper shade of red. "Good." he said with a little nod. After all, all he wanted to do was to please her. And if she was happy with how he did things now, that only left room for improvement. "You're really good at what you've done too." he was quick to respond. "Like... better than good." And maybe he didn't have much to go on, but anything that made him feel the way that she made him feel was damn good in his book.
"Oh, I know," she said teasingly, squeezing his fingers with hers gently. All she wanted to do now was climb onto his lap and kiss him all over. But he was driving, and even she knew that wasn't very safe at all. Maybe once they got there she could do it. "If we get any kind of privacy in the next two days, I'll maybe practice a bit on you, so that better than good becomes better than great."
Again the flush darkened and he had to swallow and try to think of other things so he wouldn't end up with... a problem that he'd have to wait hours to relieve. "Y-you do that." he said with a little smile. Madock had no qualms with her practicing as much as she possibly wanted.
Jessalyn smiled, pleased with the change in his heartbeat and scent. "I think I will. Because I really, really want to kiss you now." A three hour drive was just way too long! Maybe when they stopped for a bathroom break or something.
"I really want to kiss you too." Madock admitted, lifting her hand to kiss it again. "We'll just have to take lots of bathroom breaks." he teased. Well, sort of teased. He sort of meant it because that was a long trip and they hadn't been on the road that long. "We're going to spend the whole trip making out." he smirked. "I can practically feel it."
Jessalyn shrugged one shoulder. "I'm totally fine with that. A camp full of hormonal teenagers, I'm sure we won't be the only ones. We can sneak off together, and zip ourselves up in the tent all night. I doubt anyone would mind."
The tent, all night. That was sort of frightening when Madock really sat down and thought about it. He'd be spending the whole night - a couple of them actually - in a tent with Jessalyn, alone. How would he handle it? What if he tossed and turned too much. What if he talked in his sleep? What if he had a wet dream? Oh, god. "Yeah." he finally said after a long moment of quiet. "It's gonna be weird sleeping next to someone. I've slept alone so long."
She arched a blonde eyebrow in his direction, not oblivious to the lull in conversation. She wished she were a telepath, just so she knew what he was thinking. His brain bounced around so much, she knew, that maybe it would be easier to read him. "I hope it's not too weird for you, or anything." She knew boys probably liked their space. Jessalyn grinned. "I'll try not to take up too much space."
"No, no..." Madock said, shaking his head. "I'm not worried about you taking up too much space or anything. I'm more worried about my yuck morning breath and... I don't know, crushing you in the middle of the night or something."
She laughed again and patted Madock's thigh. "You don't have to worry about crushing me. There's plenty of room in the tent if you need space. And you don't have to worry about yuck morning breath either... everyone's got morning breath. I won't kiss you until you brush your teeth, if that'll make you feel better." Jessalyn honestly didn't care about that kind of stuff. She liked everything about Madock, including his yuck morning breath. "The only thing I'm worried about is the body heat... I don't want to overheat you if we sleep next to one another." Being a werewolf, her body temperatures were much higher than the average person.
"I think I can put up with body heat if I get to be close to you." Madock told her. "I'll just... ditch my sleeping bag or leave it unzipped or something. Don't need all those blankets and stuff when I've got you to keep me warm."
She smiled, pleased with the thought of being able to sleep next to him. Hearing his heart beat, and breathing in his scent. All while sleeping outdoors, more or less. Her favorite place to be. "It'll be nice," Jessalyn agreed. "I'll just have to try not to touch you too much... and let you actually get some sleep."
"You can touch me all you want, Jessa." Madock assured her. "I don't think I'll mind it much." Or at all. Very, very unlikely that he'd mind a second of it. It'd be new, sleeping next to someone, but Madock was surely up for trying it.
"Well, if I've got permission, then I'll have to take full advantage of it," she said with a smile. She honestly couldn't wait until they got there. She would be around people she liked, and she would be able to get to know some new people too. And she'd be there with Madock. There was no going home at the end of the night, no curfew. Sure, Ransom would be there, but he wouldn't be too much of a pain. "I think we're going to have a lot of fun, no matter what we do."
"Me too." Madock agreed, giving her fingers a little squeeze. "Forgive me for earlier?" he asked after a moment. "I'm sorry for being snippy with you. I try not to be like that and sometimes it just... bubbles up, I guess. I'm sorry though. For the way I acted and what I said."
Jessalyn squeezed his fingers back, wanting to reassure him that she wasn't upset with it. "It's okay. I know it's a frustrating thing to talk about. And I didn't mean to keep pushing it when you said you didn't want to talk about it." That was all part of relationships, right? Learning what to say and do and what not to say and do. "Every couple argues every now and then. There's nothing wrong with it."
Madock nodded. "Well, guess we got our first argument out of the way early. Maybe we won't ever have another one. I mean... that wasn't really an argument... just a disagreement... misunderstanding. Whatever, doesn't matter." he assured her.
"I'm sure we'll have others," Jessalyn said. She didn't like arguing, but she wasn't stupid enough to think it would never happen again. "I think they're probably perfectly normal. No couple goes through a relationship never arguing, right? Or having disagreements or misunderstandings. And see? We're already over it... not so bad."
"Not so bad." Madock agreed. "We'll figure everything out anyways. I'm not too worried about it. You're not gonna just break up with me over a stupid argument anyways, so it doesn't matter. We'll bicker and then we'll kiss and make up."
"Sounds like a doable routine," she teased. She had no intentions of breaking up with him over a stupid argument. She probably wouldn't even break up with him over a real fight. To Jessalyn, it would have to get really, really bad before breaking up even crossed her mind. "You don't have to worry about any of that stuff... you're stuck with me, regardless."
"Good." Madock smiled. "I like being stuck with you." He didn't really think of it as stuck, but it didn't matter. As long as he was with Jessalyn and she wanted to be with him too, all was right with the world. At least his little piece of it anyway.