I will never let you fall
Who: Sasha, her newborn son and a hospital nurse Where: The hospital When: Just before moonrise What: A mother’s thoughts and the moment of truth Note: Italics are Russian
It had been a long day and she was exhausted. Sasha felt as if she had run to Russia and back and everything was sore. It was all worth it, though, for the little boy currently asleep in her arms. The doctors who had come to her aid insisted she stay in the hospital overnight. She wasn’t thrilled about it, especially given that it was the moon, but they were concerned about her. She agreed so long as she was able to keep him with her until the moon, unsure of if he would turn and not wanting him to be alone if he did. Her son was perfect, ten teeny fingers, ten teeny toes. There was a little tuff of dirty blonde hair on the top of his head and when he opened his eyes, they were his father’s. The love she felt looking at the little wrapped bundle was like nothing she’d felt before. It went beyond anything and she felt as though she knew why her mother had told her to hide what she was. The were would do anything for her son, her little prince.
“I have waited so long to meet you, little one,” she whispered to the newborn. She had been beginning to think that he would never be born, that she would never get to hold him like this. In this quiet moment, however, it didn’t matter. The worries she’d had last night didn’t matter. Her son was finally there, in her arms. Now she just had to tell Christian about their child.
So maybe there was one worry she still carried. Sasha still had to find him. She wished she’d gone home with him when he’d asked her last Christmas. He was a good man but could he forgive her for not finding him sooner? For not writing to tell him about their child? Deep down, though she often told herself she didn’t look for him sooner was to protect him, she knew that wasn’t the whole truth. She didn’t want him to look at her with hatred and she didn’t want him to resent their child. Even more so now with him finally in the world, Sasha saw this little baby as a gift.
As she watched, he blinked open his eyes, watching her smile down at him. Though she had never seen pictures of him as a child, she thought he looked like his father. Christian was a good man. He would understand and forgive her. That’s what she had to keep telling herself. Soon, she would start her search again and hopefully she’ll have lost some of the baby weight by the time she found him. It might be easier to ease him into the fact that they shared a child if she didn’t have the baby in her arms. Maybe she could leave her son with Raven? She trusted the other were and was excited to show her son off to her friend.
The moon would be rising soon and she glanced up as if she could see the sphere in the sky through the ceiling. She had warned the doctors who helped her, knowing they weren’t human either and they wouldn’t hold that against her. Would her son turn like she did? Biting her lip, she stroked his cheek and wondered if she would have wanted him to or if she wanted him to be perfect and human like his father. It didn’t really matter but it would be harder for him to hear that she was a were, that they had a son, and that he was like his mother all at the same time.
She got up and stripped down, knowing the the moon rise was mere moments away, leaving her son on the bed she had just vacated. He was so tiny and she touched his little cheek, so amazed at the size of him. It didn’t take long to feel the shift and she changed into her dog form, planning on spending the evening wrapped protectively around her son. It only took a moment but she stretched and then rested her paws on the bed. In the center, in the middle of the blanket, was a newborn beagle pup. Her son was a were.
If dogs could smile, she would have. Sasha got up onto the bed and curled around him. He still couldn’t move but she nudged him so he was close at her side. The little noises he was making were adorable and she watched him, amazed. It wasn’t that she had never seen a were pup before. There had been so many over the years, so many that were raised in that pack she’d abandoned. But this was different. He was her pup, her pup to care for, to watch over, to raise to be a good man like his father. The look in her eyes could only be described as loving. Sasha knew in that moment she would die to keep him safe and she wouldn’t bat an eye.
Her pup was so tiny, smaller than when he’d been in her arms. His little legs moved and she licked his fur. Gently, she moved him close to her body, where he wanted to be so he could nurse. She’d done that earlier, when he was a little baby in her arms and in this moment, when her son was a pup beside her, it was no less amazing. Would Christian think it was? The were had no idea but it was a surreal moment to her, how she could provide so completely for him.
They lay like that for a while, until he moved, his belly full. He yawned the most precious puppy yawn and her heart melted even further. Sasha yawned herself, still exhausted from giving birth and she rested her head next to him as he drifted off.
A nurse came in to check on Sasha a short while later. She knew that the new mother was a were and they were unsure if her son would be one too. It warmed her heart to see mother and son curled up on the hospital bed the way they were and she didn’t have the heart to move them. As she left, Sasha lifted her head and yawned, watching the woman leave and knowing she’d be back in the morning. The hospital wasn’t a place she wanted to spend the night, but if it meant she and her son were safe, she would take it, especially now that he was finally in her arms.
Tomorrow, she would work on trying to find out where Christian was and she would think about how to tell him everything. It wasn’t like she could hide it all from him now. As she followed her son into slumber, she prayed that he would be understanding and forgiving. They could figure out the rest after that.