Sasha Petrova (escapingthepack) wrote in light_of_may, @ 2012-03-28 21:47:00 |
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Entry tags: | #solo, 2009-09-03 |
No one can hurt you now
Who: Sasha
Where: Her apartment
When: A little before midnight
What: Is the baby finally coming?
Notes: Italics are Russian
It was a twinge, a strange sensation. It woke her up from the light fitful sleep, the one plagued by dreams turning into nightmares. She'd been with him again, with Christian and she was happy. She was holding a wrapped bundle and he had his arm around her. The moment was filled with warmth, love. She was happy, more so than she'd ever been. It was perfect. Until she turned to look up at him. It was horrific finding Piotr there. Unable to stop him, he reached for her child. She was frozen as he took her baby and broke it's tiny neck before it could even cry. She woke gasping, feeling that twinge as tears streamed down her face.
"It's okay, little one," she murmured, rubbing her protruding stomach. She would kill to keep her baby safe. Slowly, the were got out of her bed, hating the fact that it was so low on the ground. It took forever but it was a bed and it was free. She made her way to the bathroom for what felt like the millionth time in the last twenty-four hours. Would this baby ever come? The sighs came as naturally as breathing these days. As she was at the sink, she felt that twinge again and she frowned at her reflection in the spotty mirror. Could it finally be time?
Her hand went immediately to her stomach and she closed her eyes. Was her baby ready? Was she ready? Now, all the fears she'd been holding back felt like they had come bubbling up. She couldn't be ready to be a mother! She hadn't had enough time with her own mother! The were was terrified. She couldn't do this. How could she do something as simple as name her child without Christian? Would he hate her for not telling him? For not finding him sooner? Should she have looked for him as soon as she got into town? What was easier for someone to handle, a pregnant ex or an ex with a baby in her arms?
It was enough to give her a panic attack. She gripped the sink and forced herself the breathe. She couldn't feel the twinge again but she was freaking out. She couldn't help it. This baby was doomed. It took a few long minutes to calm herself and she splashed water on her face. Sasha moved back into the main room and picked up the book she'd left by her bed. If this was labor, it would take a while. She should sleep.
Just because she could didn't mean she could. But she decided that the bed wasn't going to be the best idea. She moved to the one other piece of furniture besides the built in counter in the kitchen: her easy chair. It was comfortable and she settled herself down and closed her eyes. Her hand moved over her stomach and she started to sing softly in Russian, a lullaby she remembered singing to the pups. She prayed her baby would live a healthy life, a normal life, free from what she'd been through. It was all a mother could hope for, right?