The Talk: Post-LOM Version Who: Charlotte and her mother, Isadora (NPC) When: Around 9 AM Where: Their home
The morning was going beyond smoothly. A lot of the campers were already at Charlotte's house and packing up their stuff, and Charlotte expected to be ready to leave within the next ten or twenty minutes. Really, she couldn't help but step back and think to herself about how smoothly this was all going.
That, obviously, was her mistake.
Charlotte had just closed the back door to the SUV. When she turned around, her mother was standing on the front porch. Isadora smiled at her daughter, and gestured for her to come closer. Figuring it was time to say goodbye, Charlotte jogged over to her mother. "Sweetie, come inside for a moment. You left something in the kitchen."
Charlotte was baffled as to what she could have possibly forgotten, but she followed her mother into the house and through to the kitchen. Once there, Isadora walked around the island and faced Charlotte. Charlotte was busy looking around for what she'd left out. Then, her mother hit her with it.
"Charlotte, honey, what are the sleeping arrangements for the trip?"
BAM. Charlotte's face fell so fast it broke the laws of gravity. It happened so fast, and Charlotte was taken so off guard, that there was no hope in hell of covering up the reaction. "Ah," Isadora said, nodding knowingly. She nodded to the kitchen table. "Sit down. We need to talk."
Charlotte stared at her mother in stunned awe. She sniped me! I was almost gone! Nothing all week, not a single kink in the plan! And she sniped me! Sometimes she had to wonder if her mom had some sort of psychic ability of her own she just didn't tell anyone about. Still, she dutifully headed to the table and sat across from her mother, even if all she wanted to do was run screaming.
Isadora, as always, looked perfectly relaxed. She sipped her coffee appreciatively, before setting her mug down and looking up at Charlotte, examining her closely. Charlotte didn't know what her mother was searching for, but it creeped her out. She felt like she was waiting for the firing squad.
"Are you and Ransom sexually active?"
Charlotte. Wanted. To. Die. She facepalmed and shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "No, Mom."
"Are you going to be?"
AUGH. Charlotte tried to force herself to look her mother in the eyes, but it so wasn't within the realm of possibility. She was positively squirming now, and looking everywhere but at her mother's knowing face. She stammered as she tried to find an answer, but could not find a single coherent word. "...well, someday..." was all she ever managed, after a good two minutes of awkward noises that were probably the verbal equivalent of banging your hands on a keyboard.
"Honey... you need to be careful." Isadora said. "I know your first love seems like the only love, but you don't want to rush into things before you're ready."
Charlotte would have liked to point out that her mother married her father before she'd even graduated high school. Again, that would have required coherency, so she didn't. She just kept staring at a point on the table like it would somehow make her skin white again, instead of the red it was now.
"Teenagers are extremely hormonal creatures - and that's fine. It's against our nature to fight these urges. But you often find that these instincts can mislead you, and rush you into something you're not ready for." Isadora continued. "Ransom is a very sweet boy, but he's still a teenage boy, and teenage boys are-"
Oh God, this could not possibly be any more painful if her mother tried. At this point, Charlotte had to either interrupt her mother, or hide under the kitchen table. "It's not like that for us." she forced out, slumping against her arm on the table. Isadora smiled knowingly, looking thoroughly unconvinced. "No, Mom, I'm serious. It's not." Charlotte insisted. "This is... this is real. And permanent. Just the way you and Daddy were."
"Oh, Charlotte. You can't base your relationships a certain way just because I lucked out. What your father and I had was a rare thing, and-"
"Mom." Charlotte interrupted She would rather have thrown herself down the basement stairs than continue this conversation. "Listen. I know. This is different, even different from what you guys had."
"And how is that?" Isadora prompted.
Oh God. Charlotte closed her eyes and winced. "Werewolves... mate for life."
Isadora raised an eyebrow as she tried to figure that out. Obviously, she knew that wolves were monogamous animals, but she couldn't be sure what level Charlotte was speaking on. "What are you saying?"
Please, God - an aneurysm. Now. That's what I'm saying. "If... if Ransom and I... if we... do... that," Yes, Charlotte was proving just how mature she was with that one, but it was the closest she could say in her mother's presence, "It bonds us for life. He'll never want anyone else."
Charlotte kept her eyes closed and waited for a reaction. A few seconds passed, and still nothing, so she opened her eyes. Her mother had her head bent, her eyes closed, and had a hand over her mouth. Her shoulders were shaking.
Charlotte started to panic. Oh God, her mom was crying, she was losing it, really losing it, and -- ...wait. Charlotte leaned forward to try and get a better look.
Her mother was laughing! Charlotte's jaw dropped as she stared at her mother in hard. Isadora wasn't just laughing, but just barely containing it. She was about to lose it alright, just not how Charlotte had thought. "Mom!" Charlotte admonished, utterly horrified. That did it. Isadora started all-but howling in hard, body-shaking laughter. "You're--! You...! You're laughing at me!" Charlotte accused.
"Oh, honey, no..." Isadora barely managed. She was trying to get it together, really she was. She was laughing so hard tears were streaming down her face. Charlotte scowled and crossed her arms, deciding to just wait for her mother to get it out of her system.
For the record, it took a while.
Finally, Isadora managed to compose herself. Getting the last few laughs out of her system, she wiped at her eyes and shook her head. "Oh, Charlotte, I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. Suddenly I just feel a bit better about the situation." she said, before having a giggling fit again. "At least I know he won't run out on you if he gets you pregnant."
Okay, scratch earlier comments. Now Charlotte wanted to die. "MOM!" she gasped. She stuttered for words to sum up her horror and found one. "This is not appropriate mother response!" she finally decided.
Isadora laughed again. "There isn't exactly etiquette for when your daughter dates a werewolf." she said, shaking her head. "But I suppose you're right." She straightened a bit and tried to put her game face back on. "So here's the deal."
Aw, crap. I should have just let her keep laughing. Charlotte sighed and waited. Isadora nodded and went on. "I don't want you to do it. As a mother, I want to scream and protect you and wrap you in bubble wrap and put you in a pink Barbie room somewhere where you can stay my little baby girl forever. As a religious woman, I want to tell you to wait for marriage. But as someone who has spent her whole life studying human and animal nature, I know nothing I can tell you will even pale in comparison to what you feel in your heart is right. You're a smart girl, and you've never rushed anything into anything in you're life. I will always love you, and I will always be proud of you. All I can ask for is that you remember everything I've taught you, and that you're smart. It may be permanent for him, but it's not for you - and I know you won't take that thought lightly."
Charlotte waited for the bomb to really drop, but in the grand scheme of things... that wasn't so bad. A lot better than she ever would have thought it would be actually. She looked up at her mother, surprised, as if to say, That's it?
Isadora smiled and shook her head. "So be safe. Be careful, have a good trip, and don't do anything you'll regret." she said, before standing up. "Now on to what you forgot." She opened a cupboard, grabbed a few things, and turned back to Charlotte to set two items on the table in front of her. One was a box of condoms. The other was a gun-case.
Really, there was no possible way of determining which item bothered her the most.
"...Please tell me you're joking." Charlotte said. "Please." Even if you have to lie.
"I said be smart, and be safe. Neither of these were mere suggestions." Isadora explained, as if this was perfectly normal. "Put them in your bag. Just in case."
Charlotte's sense of self-preservation, which was naturally opposed to the idea of going into the garage, getting a screwdriver, and performing a home-lobotomy, naturally forbid her to ask about the condoms. "A gun?" she asked. "Why?"
"Don't look at me like I'm crazy, young lady." Isadora warned. "You grew up too close to Detroit to play dumb with me. You're the daughter of a cop in one of the most dangerous states in the country. You're not traveling across the state without adult supervision unarmed."
"We're going to the lake, not a parking garage on Woodward!" Charlotte objected. "You've seen too many horror movies."
Isadora thought this over and shrugged. "Perhaps I have. Deliverance. That's all I'm going to say. Now humor your mother and put the gun in your bag. There's an extra clip. Did you remember sunscreen?" Like this was perfectly freaking normal. Charlotte nodded, numbly, and obeyed. Isadora beamed at her daughter. "Good girl. Now give me a hug, or I'll make you do it in front of all your friends."
Charlotte sighed and stood up, walking around the table to hug her mother. "I'll miss you, honey. Have a good trip. Jesus will be watching you."
Charlotte couldn't help but wonder if that was supposed to be a threat or not. Great. Just freaking great.