InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Draft Gore!"

Evan Pucey (evanpucey) wrote in landing_rpg,
@ 2009-05-12 16:09:00

Entry tags:

evan pucey, jessica vaisey

Who: Evan and Jessica
When: A few days after Halloween
Where: Jessica's dorm
What: Jessica gets busted.
Rating: PG-13
Status: Complete

Evan didn't know what he had done to upset Jessica- perhaps not spending Halloween with her, though she hadn't actually asked him to, and it didn't seem like something she would be upset over- but he had put up with quite enough of her avoidance, and so he had taken the box containing the solitaire earrings he had bought for her birthday, and headed over to the other side of the dormitories.

It was always a challenge, making it to the girls' dormitory without ending up in some sort of compromising situation, but Evan had more than enough practice over the years to keep from ending up flat on his arse at the bottom of the stairs like everyone else seemed to. He knocked briefly on the door to ensure no one was naked or in a similarly awkward situation, before pushing open the door, brows raising. "Jessica Vaisey, you've been avoiding me."

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evanpucey
2009-05-12 07:35 pm UTC (link)

"I touched you..." he said, paling slightly. "You let me touch you, and you..." He had seen and touched far more of his friend than he had even remotely considered before. It felt wrong, and he couldn't begin to process why on Earth she would've done such a thing. Why would she have wanted to be taken advantage of like that? "Fuck, Jess, you aren't like those girls. Why in the hell would you do that?"

He glanced down at her, grimacing as he remembered unzipping her dress. "Fuck, Jessica!" He turned away from her, his hands slipping into his blonde hair to tug at the strands. "I can't fucking... I can't deal with this right now."

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littlevaisey
2009-05-13 02:23 pm UTC (link)

You let me touch you...

Jessica felt as if someonehad driven a dagger through her and twisted it slowly, until the pain became excruciating. The disgust in his expression was clear, and that broke her. She started to speak, words rushing out of her like a dam that had overflowed. "Yes, I'm not." she said. "For you, I can't ever be like them. You see me as the little girl you've always known who's hidden with you under the party tables when we were five. You'll... never look at me the way you look at them, Evan." She took a deep, long breath before continuing, feelign as if she couldn't get air into her lungs fast enough. "I just... wanted to know how it felt like for you to look at me... like you want me. Like I'm much more than what I simply am to you. It was wrong to deceive you, I know... and I am so sorry."

When she had thought she could not hurt more, she found him turning away from her and he once again proving her wrong. She sighed, defeated as she sat quietly on the bed, her sheets pooled around her small form. He was just right there, so within her reach, but somehow at the same time she felt as if he was a thousand miles away. "Evan. Please don't go."

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evanpucey
2009-05-13 02:39 pm UTC (link)

"More than what you are? Jessica, are you nuts? You think I respect those girls? You think I care about those girls? They're a fun night out in the woods, a snog and a laugh and a 'I'll see you around'. Why would you want to be that? Merlin's fucking beard." She wnated him to look at her differently, but Evan didn't want to look at her differently. She was his friend, best female friend for certain. He felt comfortable around her, talked to her and told her things, and she wanted to snog his brains out all of a sudden? "You're so much better than that, Jessica. Fucking hell."

Her pleading voice made him pause in his steps, but he didn't turn around to face her, just took in a deep breath, shoulders tense. "I need... to think right now, Jessica." And by think, he meant drink. A lot.

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littlevaisey
2009-05-13 03:24 pm UTC (link)

If she could have heard his thoughts, Jessica would have told him straight that she didn't just want to snog his brains out. She wanted him. She could have thought being with him physically would only make her stop being delusional, but she knew now that it only made her want him more. She wanted to be his friend as well something more than that. She has for a time, but has been afraid to accept these feelings before. Now, she could not escape them any longer.

What he had said made her wish she could just disappear into herself so he couldn't regard her with such intense distaste anymore. "I... like you, Evan." She had thought that when she had finally said these words out loud, it would have been in a different setting, one that was far happier than the one they were in. "I like you in a way I'm not supposed to. I have been for a while, and it's... hard knowing you'll never look at me in the same light. I had done what I did because I wanted it to stop... I wanted for things to go back to us being friends because our relationship means more to me than I can ever dare express. But after that... I just can't.

"I've broken your trust, and I'm really sorry, Evan. I had ran away because I could no longer hide behind that mask. I asked you to take it off and you refused; I couldn't go on anymore. I... feel... horrible." Her gaze lifted to his back, to the tense line of his shoudlers.

"I'm sorry."

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evanpucey
2009-05-13 04:51 pm UTC (link)

"Jess, you and I... We're different, okay? I don't... do relationships. I'm an asshole, Jessica. You're not. I don't know what I did to... make you feel that way, but you have to know that I'm not... a safe person, okay? You'll find someone better, and we can just forget about all this, and it won't even be... a big deal."

He cleared his throat uneasily, knowing that saying something didn't make it true, and the sound of her voice showed that. "It's not even about that," he muttered. "I just. I have to go. I'll talk to you later, Jess." He hesitated for a moment, as if he were going to turn to her, but in the end, chickened out, quickly exiting her room and shutting the door behind him.

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