InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "It fills the void."

Evan Pucey (evanpucey) wrote in landing_rpg,
@ 2009-05-12 16:09:00

Entry tags:

evan pucey, jessica vaisey

Who: Evan and Jessica
When: A few days after Halloween
Where: Jessica's dorm
What: Jessica gets busted.
Rating: PG-13
Status: Complete

Evan didn't know what he had done to upset Jessica- perhaps not spending Halloween with her, though she hadn't actually asked him to, and it didn't seem like something she would be upset over- but he had put up with quite enough of her avoidance, and so he had taken the box containing the solitaire earrings he had bought for her birthday, and headed over to the other side of the dormitories.

It was always a challenge, making it to the girls' dormitory without ending up in some sort of compromising situation, but Evan had more than enough practice over the years to keep from ending up flat on his arse at the bottom of the stairs like everyone else seemed to. He knocked briefly on the door to ensure no one was naked or in a similarly awkward situation, before pushing open the door, brows raising. "Jessica Vaisey, you've been avoiding me."

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littlevaisey
2009-05-12 05:23 pm UTC (link)

Jessica had been quite a wreck since the disaster that was her Halloween night. But what could one expect from a plan that had lies and deceit as its foundation? Sh had somehow convinced herself before everything that what she as going to do was for the best, that it was a way she could get her silly crush on her best freind out of her system once and for all. Even would never in any normal circumstance see her the way he saw the girls he took out. She had only thought that her curiosity was the one making her want him, make her want to feel what it would be for him to see her differently... So what was there left to do but satisfy that curiosity? Then, after that, that was it.

Oh, how wrong she was.

During that night, Jessica finally got what she wanted. She lured him, and he took the bait. But instead of washing him away from her thoughts, he had only managed to draw her in to the point where she was in too deep that she couldn't pull away if she tried. Clothes came undone, and hands explored each other's bodies, but in the end, Jessica's guilt won her over. She couldn't let him go one without him knowing who she was. She asked him to take off her mask, ready for what reaction he was about to make at discovering who she was, when he... refused her. It was then that her mind cleared up from the foggy state he had easily reduced her to... and fled.

Days later, and Jessica still couldn't forget every detail of that night. She had been avoiding Evan like a plague and he had began to notice, much to her displeasure. She hid the lacey number and her mask under her bed; she could have burnt it but somehow something in her didn't want to do that at all.

Jessica had been curled up on her bed under the warmth of her heavy sheets, dressed in her loose pajamas, when she heard a knock on her door. Pushing the comforter until half they only covered half of her, she chanced a look at the door, but silently hoped whoever it was would just go. But she watched in horror as the door opened and Evan entered her room. Sitting up quickly, her hair sticking up awkwardly at the back, her eyes widening to the point she felt as if they might just fall out of their sockets, she moved back from him until her back was against the cool wood of her headboard. "Evan." she breathed out. "What are you-? How did you?"

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evanpucey
2009-05-12 05:23 pm UTC (link)

Alright, so that hadn’t exactly been the reaction Evan had been hoping for. He had been hoping to find Jessica up to her elbows in books, that her transparent lies might actually have been the honest truth and that she hadn’t been avoiding him at all, but the look on her face quite clearly read otherwise. She was absolutely horrified to see him standing in her doorway. Why she was in bed in the afternoon was beyond him, but he didn’t like where this was going.

He raised a brow at her rumpled appearance, her hair almost enough to get a smirk out of him. She clearly had no intentions of coming to find him, it seemed, as if that wasn’t obvious enough by her ‘come see me soon, but not too soon’ spiel. Sighing, he reached into his pocket to withdraw a red velvet box equipped with a small bow. “I was going to give this to you on your birthday, but you’ve been hiding from me.” He moved to the side of her bed and knelt down on the floor, handing it to her. Unbeknownst to Evan and poor Jessica, he was kneeling directly on top of one edge of that black dress of hers. “So... Happy Belated Birthday, I guess.”

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littlevaisey
2009-05-12 05:25 pm UTC (link)

Jessica waited for the ground to just open up and swallow her whole as he walked towards her, her arms tightly wrapping around herself the closer he got. It never happened. Just when she thought that she could seek refuge in thesafety of her dormitories- with boys not being allowed in ther at all as far as she knew- it would betray her and lead the person she did not want to see into her room. Well, that wasn't true. The sight of his beautiful face was always one that she liked seeing, but after what she had done, it's just... not the same.

Sure she was planning on telling him. But not now. Not when she felt like she was about to fall apart any second. But like with most things, he couldn't turn him away. He couldn't ask him to go, because in truth some selfish part of her didn't want him to. When accused of hiding from him, she found herself at a loss for words. It was the truth, so what use was there to deny it when she probably would just end up confirming it more? She never truly was gifted in hiding her emotions.

Jessica watched breathlessly as he knelt just by his bed and offered her a small red velvet box. Her heart melted. If only she was capable of crying, she would have had a breakdown. Carefully, she took the box in her hands and after a breif glance at his direction, opened it. A gasp escaped her lips as she found a pair of stunning diamond earings before her, twinkling like tiny stars even in the weak light of the late afternoon. "It's beautiful." she told him, closing the box and letting it rest on her lap before reaching out one hand to lightly brush over his cheek before pulling away. "Thank you. And for the record, you don't have horrible fashion sense at all." She laughed, though it took more effort than it would most people.

"Evan, I-" Jessica swallowed then. "I... I am sorry." She wasn't particular about what exactly, but she figured the best approach would be to do it slowly.

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evanpucey
2009-05-12 05:26 pm UTC (link)

As she opened the box, Evan was suddenly uncomfortable with situation. Jessica looked upset, more than upset, even. Had he done something wrong? Were her ears not pierced? He glanced at her ears beneath her hair and was reminded that were, just as he’d thought, pierced. So why did she look like she was about to burst into tears any second?

Even as she approved of the gift finally (thank Merlin), the touch to his face caught him off guard. Hesitantly, he backed away from the bed, frowning as his jeans caught on something beneath the bed. “What’re you sorry for? Merlin, Jess. I don’t know what I did to upset you. Is it the drinking? I’ve been laying off. Sort of.” More like he kept more to himself when he did it. After his last run-in with his brother and Isabella Weasley, alcohol had seemed the best solution to his stresses. “What’s wrong? What’s- Merlin, what is this thing?“ He sighed as whatever it was continued to be stuck on him, reaching down to remove it. It was something black and lacy, and Evan shifted his weight to get it out from under him, his breath hitching when he finally held it up.

That dress. Her dress. His grasp tightened on the fabric, curling it into his palms as he forced himself to remember to breathe. “Jessica…” he said slowly, not willing to admit to the connection he had already made, not willing to acknowledge the black mask he could see looming beneath her bed. “Jessica, where did you get this?” he demanded, voice low and icy as he refused to look away.

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littlevaisey
2009-05-12 05:36 pm UTC (link)

At the words that escaped him, Jessica could only shake her head, straight long brown hair falling over her features as she did so. "No... not you, Evan. Not you..." But when she had touched him, she watched him quickly moving away, as if caught off guard. That had hurt. How could she even begin to explain this to him? There seemed to be no decent angle where she could start explaining what she had done...

But seconds later, the choice was taken away from her when her dress had gotten caught on his trousers and he took the dress from where she thought she had cleverly hidden them under her bed. The look on his face as he looked at the dress then her was one she doubts she would ever forget. The hurt, the betrayal. This was probably why she wasn't ready for this at all- she could never stomach seeing that expression on his face, especially knowing she was the reason for it all...

She couldnt breathe, her chest rapidly rising and falling as she moved farther away from him, wrapping her arms tighter around herself as she did so. She was afraid. "It's... mine." she said faintly, then looked up to search his eyes. "It was me. Evan, I'm so... so sorry." she said and made a bold move to reach for him...

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evanpucey
2009-05-12 05:43 pm UTC (link)

As soon as she moved toward him, Evan jerked away, not willing to be touched by her. Flashes of the night came trickling back to him, the bright red of her lips, the soft satin of her skin, her soft breathy moans floating into the night. His gaze flitted back to her, her bright blue eyes piercing into his as he realized why they had looked so familiar.

"You-" He couldn't get out a coherent sentence. Hell, he could hardly get out anything at all. "I don't-" He let the lacy fabric in his hands drop as he reached for the mask she had stashed away. It brought with it a new wave of memories, the feel of her lips upon his neck, her fingers gliding across his skin. He shook his head to rid himself of the memory, tossing the disguise at her with disgust. "Were you saving it for later?" he snapped. "Round two?"

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littlevaisey
2009-05-12 05:57 pm UTC (link)

Ashamed. That was what Jessica felt as she watched his expression, watched as he was able to put together every piece of the puzzle easily as she knew he would be able to. He looked digusted and angry as she pulled out the mask from under her bed, then threw it at her direction.

She flinched. His words stung more than she ever thought they would and she reached up to clutch her chest, hoping that doing so would somehow ease the pain. It didn't. "No..." she said, shaking her head, her voice pleading. "Of course not. I... could never!" Bravely, she moved towards the end of her bed where he stood. "I wouldn't. Not after that... It was wrong for me to have decived you, Evan. You don't know how sorry I feel about that. I... just..." Her head bowed and she looked down, asking herself if she should go on. "I am a mess. I just... I wanted..."

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evanpucey
2009-05-12 07:35 pm UTC (link)

"I touched you..." he said, paling slightly. "You let me touch you, and you..." He had seen and touched far more of his friend than he had even remotely considered before. It felt wrong, and he couldn't begin to process why on Earth she would've done such a thing. Why would she have wanted to be taken advantage of like that? "Fuck, Jess, you aren't like those girls. Why in the hell would you do that?"

He glanced down at her, grimacing as he remembered unzipping her dress. "Fuck, Jessica!" He turned away from her, his hands slipping into his blonde hair to tug at the strands. "I can't fucking... I can't deal with this right now."

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littlevaisey
2009-05-13 02:23 pm UTC (link)

You let me touch you...

Jessica felt as if someonehad driven a dagger through her and twisted it slowly, until the pain became excruciating. The disgust in his expression was clear, and that broke her. She started to speak, words rushing out of her like a dam that had overflowed. "Yes, I'm not." she said. "For you, I can't ever be like them. You see me as the little girl you've always known who's hidden with you under the party tables when we were five. You'll... never look at me the way you look at them, Evan." She took a deep, long breath before continuing, feelign as if she couldn't get air into her lungs fast enough. "I just... wanted to know how it felt like for you to look at me... like you want me. Like I'm much more than what I simply am to you. It was wrong to deceive you, I know... and I am so sorry."

When she had thought she could not hurt more, she found him turning away from her and he once again proving her wrong. She sighed, defeated as she sat quietly on the bed, her sheets pooled around her small form. He was just right there, so within her reach, but somehow at the same time she felt as if he was a thousand miles away. "Evan. Please don't go."

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evanpucey
2009-05-13 02:39 pm UTC (link)

"More than what you are? Jessica, are you nuts? You think I respect those girls? You think I care about those girls? They're a fun night out in the woods, a snog and a laugh and a 'I'll see you around'. Why would you want to be that? Merlin's fucking beard." She wnated him to look at her differently, but Evan didn't want to look at her differently. She was his friend, best female friend for certain. He felt comfortable around her, talked to her and told her things, and she wanted to snog his brains out all of a sudden? "You're so much better than that, Jessica. Fucking hell."

Her pleading voice made him pause in his steps, but he didn't turn around to face her, just took in a deep breath, shoulders tense. "I need... to think right now, Jessica." And by think, he meant drink. A lot.

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littlevaisey
2009-05-13 03:24 pm UTC (link)

If she could have heard his thoughts, Jessica would have told him straight that she didn't just want to snog his brains out. She wanted him. She could have thought being with him physically would only make her stop being delusional, but she knew now that it only made her want him more. She wanted to be his friend as well something more than that. She has for a time, but has been afraid to accept these feelings before. Now, she could not escape them any longer.

What he had said made her wish she could just disappear into herself so he couldn't regard her with such intense distaste anymore. "I... like you, Evan." She had thought that when she had finally said these words out loud, it would have been in a different setting, one that was far happier than the one they were in. "I like you in a way I'm not supposed to. I have been for a while, and it's... hard knowing you'll never look at me in the same light. I had done what I did because I wanted it to stop... I wanted for things to go back to us being friends because our relationship means more to me than I can ever dare express. But after that... I just can't.

"I've broken your trust, and I'm really sorry, Evan. I had ran away because I could no longer hide behind that mask. I asked you to take it off and you refused; I couldn't go on anymore. I... feel... horrible." Her gaze lifted to his back, to the tense line of his shoudlers.

"I'm sorry."

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evanpucey
2009-05-13 04:51 pm UTC (link)

"Jess, you and I... We're different, okay? I don't... do relationships. I'm an asshole, Jessica. You're not. I don't know what I did to... make you feel that way, but you have to know that I'm not... a safe person, okay? You'll find someone better, and we can just forget about all this, and it won't even be... a big deal."

He cleared his throat uneasily, knowing that saying something didn't make it true, and the sound of her voice showed that. "It's not even about that," he muttered. "I just. I have to go. I'll talk to you later, Jess." He hesitated for a moment, as if he were going to turn to her, but in the end, chickened out, quickly exiting her room and shutting the door behind him.

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