InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Don't forget he pie!"

тaaĸo (abracafuckyou) wrote in jurassiccitynet,
@ 2017-02-27 00:44:00

Entry tags:

taako, vax'ildan

voice post - backdated to when he actually arrived.
[ Taako sounds supremely irritated. ]

What the actual shit is this?

Magnus? Merle? Is this some bullshit joke? Because if you don't think I'll burn a spell slot on you chucklefucks, you are sorely mistaken.

Fucking shit, guys. Great idea. Yeah, let's just take our only useful party member and stick him somewhere weird by himself. Awesome job, geniuses. Well, joke's on you. When you two dipshits die because you're useless without me and Merle is the shittiest fucking cleric ever - I mean, seriously, he's healed us like...three times ever - I'm just gonna laugh.

(Post a new comment)

	voice response. daggerdagger 2017-02-27 06:00 am UTC (link)
	[ words seem to be struggled through utter fits of laughter and are addressed to no one in particular ] Are we allowed to trade partners? I think I want to trade. And if there's only three of you, you must not be doing so badly to still be standing. There's six of us, and most of us have died at least twice. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	voice response. abracafuckyou 2017-02-27 06:02 am UTC (link)
	Pssh. How the fuck am I supposed to know? I'm not your dad. Do what you want. Yeah...well. We've died kind of a lot. I mean, Merle's died the most, but I cannot stress enough how shitty a cleric he is. I mean he is the worst fucking cleric I've ever seen. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	voice response. daggerdagger 2017-02-27 06:13 am UTC (link)
	Just a general inquiry to the rest of the population. Given everyone can hear this, I figured someone might have an answer. Now. This is three times out of... how long, exactly? Because that does seem like a rather low number, but I need a basis of comparison. You guys might have only been at least for a week. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	voice response. abracafuckyou 2017-03-10 07:21 pm UTC (link)
	Oh. Cool, my dude. Have at it. Like...I don't know. Fourteen months-ish? I think. I'm going to be upfront with you. I'm kind of an idiot. So sometimes I'm wrong about shit. I'm Taako, by the way. Apparently, I have a problem with not introducing myself to people in a timely fashion or whatever and that's "rude" or some shit. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	voice response. daggerdagger 2017-03-10 07:28 pm UTC (link)
	Over a year? Fucking hell. I'm pretty sure Kash did more healing than that, plus a resurrection, when he was around, and that was like... three days. Max. I mean, shit, our cleric isn't around half the time, and she's managed to heal us more than that when she's not even there. Vax'ildan. Most people just call me Vax. Quicker off the tongue. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	voice response. abracafuckyou 2017-03-10 07:35 pm UTC (link)
	Seriously. He sucks. Your cleric sounds way better. But then again, she is a woman. We do way better when there's competent women around. Otherwise we just try to fail as non-fatally as possible. That's an elf-y name if I ever heard one. So, I'm a wizard. I feel like that's a thing you should do when you introduce yourself, I don't know. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	voice response. daggerdagger 2017-03-10 07:40 pm UTC (link)
	She's the best. One time, her god punched a dragon out of the sky for her. Kind of happens when your dad is a pretentious elf douchebag who can't leave well enough alone. Rogue Paladin. Rogue by trade, Paladin by circumstance. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

voice response.

abracafuckyou
2017-03-10 07:45 pm UTC (link)

I'm going to have to have a fucking talk with Merle, because he needs to invest in a better god or something. I mean, the only useful thing Pan's ever done is let him flirt with plants or some shit. Which was horrible for everyone involved. Oh, and replaced his arm with a wooden one after Magnus had to cut it off.

Hey. I'm a pretentious elf douchebag. I mean, I'm not pretentious. Or a douchebag. But whatever. I don't actually care. I don't know your life. Dads can be dicks. I guess. I wouldn't know.

So who's your god? Or goddess? Do they punch dragons for you? I'm not a paladin or anything, but I'm sort of serving a fate goddess so. Yeah.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

voice response.

daggerdagger
2017-03-10 08:03 pm UTC (link)

That sounds... interesting. I'm not entirely sure how else to put that. Interesting seems appropriate.

Well, considering he basically took me and my sister from our mother by force in order to raise us in 'proper elven society' and then constantly got frustrated by our inability to adapt to those around us telling us repeatedly that we were lesser beings and would never belong, I would say dick definitely fits.

The Raven Queen. I'm primarily a servant of her domain of fate, so there's quite a coincidence.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

voice response.

abracafuckyou
2017-03-10 08:30 pm UTC (link)

We defy explanation. I know.

Yeah, he sounds like a piece of shit. I sort of moved around a lot growing up. Partly because I didn't exactly have family, mostly because nobody really wanted me for too long. But it's cool. I turned out awesome. So fuck those guys.

Oh cool. My boyfriend or guy dude I'm chilling with is a bounty hunter for her. He tried to kill us the first time we met because we've died a lot and it was a thing but now it's cool and we make pottery and drink wine and my wand tries to kill him sometimes. Like, my actual wand. Not my dick. It's maybe a lich. We're not sure. Anyway, I work with Istus. She's cool in a chill mom kind of way.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

voice response.

daggerdagger
2017-03-10 08:41 pm UTC (link)

Ah. See. That explains it. You didn't grow up with elves. That's why you're not a raging asshole. Or at least, not the very specific elven kind of raging asshole that revolves around pretentiousness, an inflated sense of self importance, and a consistent desire to kick those you consider below you.

Wait. Which might be a lich? Your wand or your dick?

Istus. I can't say I'm familiar. Though, to be fair, I'm a pretty recent recruit to the god stuff so she could be utterly commonplace, and I'd still be clueless.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: voice response. abracafuckyou 2017-03-10 08:53 pm UTC (link)
	I was going to say, I'm pretty sure I am an asshole. And I grew up with elves, sometimes. I remember my grandfather. And my aunt. They were pretty okay. But like, we were more farming elves, so maybe it's different. Dude, my dick is not a lich. She's a goddess of fate and stuff. I don't know. We sort of stumbled into the whole serving her thing. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	voice response. daggerdagger 2017-03-10 08:59 pm UTC (link)
	Ah. Yeah. Dad's an ambassador. Hey. Just had to make sure. The way you phrased that, it could have been either. Still. I'm new to this magic thing, but I'm not sure a wand could be a lich, either. Same. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	voice response. abracafuckyou 2017-03-10 10:21 pm UTC (link)
	Huh. I guess that's a thing assholes do. My wand is a really cool wand. It could be a lich if it wants. You're not the boss of it. Cool. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	voice response. daggerdagger 2017-03-10 10:30 pm UTC (link)
	Definitely a thing assholes do. I'm definitely not. That would be your territory. Gods are weird. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	voice response. abracafuckyou 2017-03-11 11:00 am UTC (link)
	Yeah. Assholes do things like be ambassadors. Or murder forty people because they're pissed at you and then make you think it's your fault and abandon you to years of guilt. Yeah. I'm totally the boss of my wand. And my dick. They are. Istus is like really hovery sometimes. It's like jeez, Istus, you're not my mom. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	voice response. daggerdagger 2017-03-11 11:05 am UTC (link)
	Also an asshole. Possibly a sociopath as well. I'm guessing that's from experience? I have no doubts. Is yours annoyingly vague and really cryptic about what she expects, or is that just the Raven Queen? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

voice response.

abracafuckyou
2017-03-11 11:09 am UTC (link)

Yeah. I was dating this guy. And I had this cooking show. It was cool. I used transfiguration magic to make it more interesting. And he helped with the show. And he wanted to be a bigger part of it. And I was like no because it was my thing and it was pretty much the only thing that was just mine and maybe that was selfish, but whatever. I know my flaws. And he poisoned the food and a bunch of people died. And I thought it was because I'd accidentally transfigured nightshade instead of elderberries, but it was poison because he was a jealous, controlling dick. So...yeah. Then he abandoned me because he didn't want to be with a murderer. Which was like...extra shitty in retrospect. Yeah, he was maybe not my best choice? My boyfriend now is way cooler.

Awesome.

Yeah. She does that. I don't know much about the Raven Queen. I think Kravitz accidentally called her mom once. It was hilarious.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	voice response. daggerdagger 2017-03-11 11:32 am UTC (link)
	Holy shit, man. That's just... fucked up on a massive scale. Killing that many people just because he got told no. But we all make pretty shitty choices. It's just a good thing you traded up. That's... amazing. Seriously. I mean, she'd totally appreciate it, but talk about embarrassing. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	voice response. abracafuckyou 2017-03-11 11:36 am UTC (link)
	Yeah, well, he wasn't exactly great at accepting rejection. But I mean, I was kind of a shitty person back then. Shittier person than I am now. So...I don't know. I probably could have been better to him. He's great. Really handsome. And smart. And just really great. He makes terrible pottery. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	voice response. daggerdagger 2017-03-11 11:40 am UTC (link)
	Hindsight, unfortunately, about your own behavior doesn't change someone else's actions. I mean, seriously. He could have literally just told you to fuck off and walked away without resorting to murder. That is definitely a smitten statement if I have ever heard one. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	voice response. abracafuckyou 2017-03-11 02:43 pm UTC (link)
	Yeah, well, I'm just saying I probably deserved it. I'm kind of a piece of shit, you know? Yeah, Kravitz is pretty great. And hot. And really kinky, I'm pretty sure. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	voice response. daggerdagger 2017-03-11 02:48 pm UTC (link)
	Hey. Some of the best people I know are pieces of shit. Definitely a winning combination. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	voice response. abracafuckyou 2017-03-11 03:20 pm UTC (link)
	Fair enough. I know some pretty great pieces of shit. Yeah. Hopefully he'll show up. Things weren't great for him, last I saw. (Reply to this) (Parent)