padraig is a little different now. (irishdragon) wrote in invol_rpg, @ 2013-01-02 22:06:00 |
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Entry tags: | ! narrative, ! plot: kidnapping, padraig flanagan |
WHO: Padraig Flanagan [IRELAND]
WHAT: Him in the cell, feeling emotions.
WHEN: Evening, Jan 2nd.
WHERE: Somewhere in Europe.
WARNINGS: None, really.
STATUS: Completed.
The warm water and wash clothes were nice. They didn't make up for the fact he'd been kidnapped and manipulated though. Maybe if they threw in some chocolates or mints on his pillow. Without Mette in the cell Padraig felt overwhelmingly lonely. Myra had been quiet and detached this entire experience. In addition to the loneliness, Padraig felt his fears creeping over and through him. When Mette was here talking to him it was much easier to fake it. Yes, he was terrified, but no, he wasn't going to let that keep him from consoling Mette. He didn't have anyone to tell memories to, he didn't have anyone to ask mundane questions, he didn't have anyone else's world to get lost in. Pad's own imagination and memories were blank right now. All he could think about was right now, and very soon. He was going to die. It had taken Padraig a long time to accept that, but he felt he finally could. It was almost immediately after coming to the realization that Mette was truly gone that Padraig had also come to the realization he was going to die. He didn't want to die, though. The thought terrified him. His multiple burns were not helping either. It was as if the mere thought of dying was literally stinging his entire being. Padraig was helpless. Although he'd never thought it out, he always knew his power would be around to save him if he got in serious trouble. That wasn't an option anymore. Myra was too close to him and the guards were too prepared. He couldn't burn their faces off and run away. He wanted to, though. Badly. Padraig wasn't a violent person, but he could honestly say that if he melted away each and every kidnapper's face off he would only feel happiness and relief. No one should be forced to go through this. He could play a vivid movie over and over in his mind of him doing just that, but imagination and reality were painfully far apart these days. "God," Padraig whispered, finding his only small comfort was talking out loud. "I never imagined it this way, but ye have a plan, yeah? Someone up there needs me more than everyone down here. Something like that, right? I think I've told ye everything in the past few days, but if I've forgot a sin or twelve, forgive me. It's not easy ta think in here, not easy ta remember the good times. I'm praying for atonement, God. I don't even know if that's the right word, but I think it is. I'm not ready to join you, but I know it's going to happen now." Although all Padraig felt was overwhelming fear, his voice was steady. It always was when he prayed. For a moment, Padraig let his thoughts drift back to the life he had at IVI. He thought of his bros first. He imagined Jonas was spitting fire at everyone, Mike was comforting the birds, Mikael was silent as ever but the most realistically worried, Hugo probably wanted to punch the kidnappers in the face, Brad must be talking to every plant in the entire world, and Raph... Raph was probably hiding it the best. Padraig knew his Italian roommate was worried, but he also knew how Raph dealt with emotions. With a weak smile, Padraig knocked three times on the ground while thinking of his mates. He wouldn't wish them luck out loud, but he'd do little things now and then to give them it. Pad thought of the others, too. Of Shannon, Lana, Rose, Val, Clara, Noah, Liam, all the Peacocks... the list was endless as their faces flashed before him. He even thought of 'Vampire' Ted, the Northerner Padraig wasted so much time holding a grudge against. He'd asked forgiveness for that too. The faces comforted him so long as his eyes were closed. When they snapped open, though, reality and fear came flooding back. Helplessness was not a good feeling, and Padraig really wanted it to go away. That wasn't going to happen, though. All he could see was the cold concrete staring back at him. Leftover food, water, and dishes scattered on the floor. Shitty cots that no human in the entire world could get a good night's rest on. Everything Padraig saw was hopeless. Their efforts had been futile, their free will had been broken, and their alliances had been smashed apart. If he wasn't so tired and weak, Padraig might have literally been shaking with fear. |