rose walker: genius mechanic & mother hen (rollicking) wrote in invol_journals, @ 2013-04-07 21:54:00 |
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Entry tags: | rose walker |
It just doesn't feel like it's been 5 years since Seattle. It's not something I think about a lot and I know some people knew from the first instance that they were vols or that they were something out of the ordinary, but it kind of took me personally a while to figure it out and I think Seattle was the first time I really considered that I didn't just have some weird natural talent that only applied to domestic machines or cars or something. It was the first time it felt real.
I think being here, it's not that I forget that we're all different special little snowflakes and all, but I think it's easy to forget that for at least 14 years, we had other lives and other plans. It felt almost weirdly intrusive to read a glimpse into people you see every day. Even so, it was sort of nice to be reminded of those other plans and other life. It makes you take stock of how much you change. But that's what's been occurring to me lately - I love being a vol but I've always felt so adamant that my plans were not going to change because of it and I wasn't going to get defined by it. The reality is I've barely written anything I'm happy with in months and all my focus is on pushing my power to the limit in case I could los. Just reading about the fact that people do still think about what could have been and what's on hold, as well as re-evaluating their lives and what they're going to do with them really helps deal with that.
They were great reading and I really hope they gave some people out there pause for thought too.
[filter: conner]