InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "listen to Relient K"

Lily Evans (emerald_eyes) wrote in indarkness_logs,
@ 2010-10-20 06:36:00

Entry tags:

!complete, 2032 10, lily evans, sir didymus

RP: Lost
Characters: Lily, Didymus
Time/Date: morning, October 20, after seeing the video
Location: Algul Siento, kitchen
Warnings/Rating: angst!!
Summary: Lily is having trouble coping
Status: Complete

Lily had watched the video twice. She couldn't unsee it, couldn't chase it out of her head. She couldn't even begin to hope any of them had survived that, and the image of Dug's body was burned into her mind. He'd just gotten back and then ... this. Why couldn't they have sent him -- sent them all -- here?

She thought of Jaime, who'd just gotten Mal back. She thought of Remus. She tried desperately not to think of Balthazar, but those thoughts crept in inevitably. She felt her knees give, and she crumpled to the floor, closing her eyes against the flood of tears. Had the others seen yet? She thought about sending out a note not to, but ... they all had a right to know, didn't they?

Lizzy though ... she should ... try to stop her from seeing it. Lily's eyes drifted to her blackberry and her computer, but they were both a million miles away and she didn't care enough to reach for them. Not ... right now.

In a minute.

Lily remained seated on the floor. She had a moment of hoping that this was somehow a set-up, staged, that she'd step into the hall and ... find Balthazar's name on another door. Find Jaime and Mal in their room. Find everyone here. Inspired, even if she knew it for false hope, Lily surged to her feet. She darted out into the hall and turned to look at her door ...

... which still showed his name. His name was still on her door, like a cruel reminder of what could never again be. Were they truly such monsters? She lifted a hand, her fingertips tracing over his name but he was ... gone. Dead and gone. Killed by a unnatural natural disaster, and Lily felt her knees starting to go again. It wasn't fair, and it wasn't right, and oh if she ever saw those bastards in the flesh, she wouldn't hesitate to use an Unforgivable on them. She'd learn them. Maybe Sev would teach her.

Emerald eyes hardened as her nostrils flared, and she swallowed hard. Striding down the hallway, she paused outside the door to Jaime's room. She knocked on the door, called through it, but there were no sounds from within. She tried the door, but it was locked. She didn't bother with an unlocking spell. Her eyes rolled up toward the ceiling, and she thought about going to see if Sev was all right ... but she didn't think she was composed enough to be comforting when she needed a bit of that herself.

Wiping the tears from her eyes, Lily instead started toward the kitchen. She could at least ... get some food on the table and be there for anyone who had questions. She knew her answers would be laced with bitter anger, but it was what it was. They'd brought him back just to kill him. It wasn't fair. It ...

Lily drew her hand back and slammed it into the wall in an uncharacteristic display of physical rage. This ... this was what they were driving her to. Part of her was aware this was what they wanted, that she was 'letting them win' but she didn't care. There was a deep ache growing inside of her, a hole they'd created ... so why not fill it with something useful like rage?

Rubbing her bruised knuckles, Lily continued on into the kitchen to start on breakfast. It ... was something to do. Somewhere to focus the whirling energy inside of her. She did her best to maintain something like composure, but she could feel herself breaking, bit by bit.

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emerald_eyes
2010-10-21 01:10 am UTC (link)

Lily almost managed a laugh when she saw what he was up to, but it was a sweet gesture. It just made it all the harder to hold back the flood of tears. Her body jerked a couple of times with stifled sobs before she relented and carefully embraced the fox man.

"It's not right," she whispered through her tears. "That they do this. That they can do this, and we can't get back at them at all. That they sit up their in their ivory towers and just ... p-pick on us like they do."

She felt a little bit pathetic, honestly, but so what? She'd lost her son, her granddaughter, her lover, and countless friends she'd made in this prison. Why shouldn't she be allowed a little time to cry about it?

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sir_didymus
2010-10-21 04:33 am UTC (link)

"No, milady, 'tis not right," Didymus soothed, patting her back with a paw, even if the angle was a mite awkward. But he never would have thought the lady pathetic. There was only so much one person could take, and those villains had pushed her toward the edge again and again and again.

"They shall not be spared retribution forever," he added after a moment, a hint of a growl in his voice. It was true that he did not know how to confront their captors at the moment, but once he could, he would fight them all to the death.

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emerald_eyes
2010-10-21 04:40 am UTC (link)

"No, they won't," she agreed. She ... almost, almost felt sorry for the first one of them caught out now. Because she could see the inhabitants of this island, the ones they'd screwed so royally, descending like a pack of wild dogs.

She could see herself easily among said pack, and that scared her a little ... but not enough to keep the thoughts from crossing her mind. She realized then just how serious she was about finding someone to teach her the spells. While she didn't honestly think she'd ever have a chance to use them ... if the opportunity ever, ever arose, she wanted to take advantage of it.

She held to the fox a moment or so longer before releasing him and drawing back. "Thank you," she said softly. It was enough to stabilize her, at least. Let her get through breakfast, and ... go check on the others, and ... maybe then she'd find some quiet time to mourn.

Lily wondered how many times she was going to think to tell Jaime or Harry or LilyLu something only to recall they were all dead, and she thought ... she'd be catching herself doing that often. The pain, she thought, hadn't completely sunk in yet. She was still numb, still in shock, and she supposed she should be grateful for that.

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sir_didymus
2010-10-21 06:27 am UTC (link)

"Thou art quite welcome, milady -- verily," Didymus answered, giving her a small smile. He was only glad that he could help, in the slightest amount. And that the Lady Lily had accepted his aid.

After giving her arm one last pat, Didymus climbed down off the chair again. He thought about saying he would be there for her whenever she had need of him, but nay. The lady already knew. Even if she did not care to admit that need, he would still be there, and still -- he would never tell a soul.

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emerald_eyes
2010-10-21 02:24 pm UTC (link)

Lily turned her attention back to breakfast, and she gestured slightly toward the fridge. "There's some chicken in there, if either of you wanted that for breakfast," she offered as she took a stab at normalcy.

It wasn't going to be easy, she knew that. There were so few people here that she was truly close to ... most of the ones she would seek to confide in or draw comfort from were on ...

... were dead now.

Her eyes closed and her jaw clenched, and she fought the threatening wave of despair. She wouldn't give into this. Not her. Not now. There were things to do. Things to be done. People to take care of. Later, she promised herself. Later, she could cry herself sick if she wanted to.

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sir_didymus
2010-10-21 10:11 pm UTC (link)

"I thank thee," Didymus answered with a nod, moving to the refrigerator to retrieve the chicken the lady had indicated. He was glad that it was already cut into pieces, because he did not want to take the whole chicken. The others would likely not take too kindly to such a thing, but his paws were not made for cutting it apart. And the others would take even less kindly to his gnawing off a few pieces, he imagined.

Didymus plucked a plate off the counter and piled a couple of pieces of the chicken atop, careful to touch only those. Then, with a nod, he bid the lady a good day. She would be all right, in time. Of that he was certain.

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