Lily Evans (emerald_eyes) wrote in indarkness_logs, @ 2010-10-20 06:36:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, 2032 10, lily evans, sir didymus |
RP: Lost
Characters: Lily, Didymus
Time/Date: morning, October 20, after seeing the video
Location: Algul Siento, kitchen
Warnings/Rating: angst!!
Summary: Lily is having trouble coping
Status: Complete
Lily had watched the video twice. She couldn't unsee it, couldn't chase it out of her head. She couldn't even begin to hope any of them had survived that, and the image of Dug's body was burned into her mind. He'd just gotten back and then ... this. Why couldn't they have sent him -- sent them all -- here?
She thought of Jaime, who'd just gotten Mal back. She thought of Remus. She tried desperately not to think of Balthazar, but those thoughts crept in inevitably. She felt her knees give, and she crumpled to the floor, closing her eyes against the flood of tears. Had the others seen yet? She thought about sending out a note not to, but ... they all had a right to know, didn't they?
Lizzy though ... she should ... try to stop her from seeing it. Lily's eyes drifted to her blackberry and her computer, but they were both a million miles away and she didn't care enough to reach for them. Not ... right now.
In a minute.
Lily remained seated on the floor. She had a moment of hoping that this was somehow a set-up, staged, that she'd step into the hall and ... find Balthazar's name on another door. Find Jaime and Mal in their room. Find everyone here. Inspired, even if she knew it for false hope, Lily surged to her feet. She darted out into the hall and turned to look at her door ...
... which still showed his name. His name was still on her door, like a cruel reminder of what could never again be. Were they truly such monsters? She lifted a hand, her fingertips tracing over his name but he was ... gone. Dead and gone. Killed by a unnatural natural disaster, and Lily felt her knees starting to go again. It wasn't fair, and it wasn't right, and oh if she ever saw those bastards in the flesh, she wouldn't hesitate to use an Unforgivable on them. She'd learn them. Maybe Sev would teach her.
Emerald eyes hardened as her nostrils flared, and she swallowed hard. Striding down the hallway, she paused outside the door to Jaime's room. She knocked on the door, called through it, but there were no sounds from within. She tried the door, but it was locked. She didn't bother with an unlocking spell. Her eyes rolled up toward the ceiling, and she thought about going to see if Sev was all right ... but she didn't think she was composed enough to be comforting when she needed a bit of that herself.
Wiping the tears from her eyes, Lily instead started toward the kitchen. She could at least ... get some food on the table and be there for anyone who had questions. She knew her answers would be laced with bitter anger, but it was what it was. They'd brought him back just to kill him. It wasn't fair. It ...
Lily drew her hand back and slammed it into the wall in an uncharacteristic display of physical rage. This ... this was what they were driving her to. Part of her was aware this was what they wanted, that she was 'letting them win' but she didn't care. There was a deep ache growing inside of her, a hole they'd created ... so why not fill it with something useful like rage?
Rubbing her bruised knuckles, Lily continued on into the kitchen to start on breakfast. It ... was something to do. Somewhere to focus the whirling energy inside of her. She did her best to maintain something like composure, but she could feel herself breaking, bit by bit.