InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Proud"

Sue Wanda "Swan" Prescott (planted_it) wrote in indarkness_logs,
@ 2010-09-24 18:46:00

Entry tags:

!complete, 2032 09, jaime davies, malcolm reynolds, swan prescott

RP: Like a Crown
Characters: Swan, Jaime, Mal
Time/Date: Evening, September 24
Location: Infirmary
Warnings/Rating: ...Jaime?
Summary: Swan recalls something that might help
Status: Complete

She wasn't sure why she hadn't thought of it before. Perhaps because ... perhaps because she thought all the magic had gone out of it when Sister had died. Still, she'd had it with her nearly constantly since her arrival, and she thought it couldn't do any harm to let Jaime hold it for a little while. It might help her somehow, the way it had helped them.

It had been magic, once; she wasn't sure if it was still magic now.

After dinner, she eased into the infirmary cautiously. She felt ... sad. She'd been feeling sad, and last night she'd had nightmares about the Army of Excellence, but those happened even without dementors to help them along. She missed Robin fiercely, she missed Josh and Sister, and she'd been reliving the horrors of her short, young life ... but she still could maybe do something for the others.

She bit at her lower lip before she drew the jeweled ring out of the pouch.

Gold-flecked blue eyes lingered on Jaime, and she thought for a moment the girl was asleep. But then she saw Jaime's pale blue eyes (ringed by dark, sunken flesh; an indication she hadn't been sleeping well at all) and Swan offered her what passed for a smile. "I ... I brought something that might help," she offered, pitching her voice low.

When Jaime didn't move or even attempt to acknowledge her, Swan eased closer.

She held out the ring of glass and jewels and shrugged slightly. "It ... it might not do anything anymore. But it might ... help you feel better."

"It looks like a crown," Jaime said as she accepted it.

Swan was silent for a long moment. "It was, once," she finally said as she settled down onto the floor by Jaime's bed. She tried not to look at the girl's right arm, bandaged from the heel of her hand to her elbow. She'd heard what had happened, and she hated that there were things here that made people want to do things like that. It might be too late for the glass to do any good, but ... maybe it would help the girl sleep.

Jaime studied the glass ring curiously. She could see where spikes had been broken off, and she could see the various colors of the jewels inside the glass, along with the blackened filaments. "What's the black stuff?"

"It was... the chains. Silver and gold. Some of them are burned out, but ... maybe some of them still glow."

Glow? Jaime lifted the ring curiously, and she thought that yes, the sapphires and emeralds did seem to be glowing, pulsing a little. In time with her heartbeat, she realized. Jaime gazed into the ring, her eyes darting over the different colors, and for a moment ... she saw herself somewhere she'd never seen before, dressed as she'd never been dressed before, with Mal's arm settled around her shoulder. It was soothing, even if it was a lie, and Jaime continued to watch the softly flickering jewels.

Swan watched Jaime. She could see the reflection of a pulsing sapphire just below Jaime's eye, and she smiled softly. Maybe there was so magic in it yet.

(Post a new comment)

accordingtoplan
2010-09-26 07:14 am UTC (link)

He'd been arguing with Kaylee, because it seemed like the thing to do, since he apparently only could have two different emotions when he was upset - he could be dead to the world, flat on his back and miserable, or he could be furiously angry with anything that looked at him funny and be miserable. Though he supposed the latter was a slight improvement, he did wish that he could go back to his usual state of only slightly miserable, but he supposed he would have to wait for that.

But in this particular case, he seemed desperate to find someone to blame that wasn't Jaime, and it was easier to blame Kaylee for being a negligent neighbour and friend than to take the blame himself for not doing a better job of... checking up on her. Of making her stick around where he could see her, spend time with her. He could have done more, rather than sitting around and feeling sorry for himself and all his troubles. Other people had troubles too. But it was easier to yell at Kaylee, or Simon, or pretty much everyone else rather than acknowledge that fact.

Though, of course, because he was busy yelling, he missed the redhead come in. Slipping back into the infirmary, grumbling and holding his head from the throbbing ache it was starting up, he settled his eyes irritably on the girl and bit back a 'who the hell are you' before it could burst out. He wasn't really an ass. All the time. At least, he hoped he wasn't.

"Sorry, wasn't around to catch your name," he mumbled, slipping into a chair he was growing quite comfortable in the last... day or so, since hearing about the... accident. "M'Mal," he added since it was only fair, his eyes settling on the... jewelry thing that Jaime had acquired in his absence. "Whatchu got there?" he asked, leaning in to get a better look.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

planted_it
2010-09-26 07:50 am UTC (link)

Swan glanced up at Mal as he entered, but she knew who he was. Not that they'd ever spoken or anything like that, but Swan blamed herself for that. She really ... did need to get out more. Meet more people, make more friends.

She should really try that with people her own age, honestly, but she seemed to relate better to the adults. Little wonder, that, she supposed. It had been her and Josh and Rusty, and they'd both been older men, and even Sister was a fair few years older than herself. Robin had been the first person her age that she'd really gotten to know ...

Realizing that Mal had asked a question (well, a question and a half, really), she shook her head. "I'm Swan," she replied. "That ..." she didn't know what to call it, really. The magic ring? Her empress crown? "It's some jewels, melted into glass. Sort of like a crown," she admitted.

Jaime looked up from the image of Mal in the ring to the real Mal, though she looked away again. She was unable (or unwilling) to meet his gaze in light of what she'd done. Or tried to do, but it amounted to the same thing in the end.

Instead, she passed the ring toward him, wondering if he'd see the same thing or ... something completely different. Or if he'd see anything at all. Maybe the magic wouldn't work for him.

The ring, she realized as she surrendered it, had made her feel better. Without it, she felt the dark and the cold seeping right back in.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

accordingtoplan
2010-09-26 10:11 pm UTC (link)

"Swan," he repeated, and while he thought that sounded a bit like a silly name, he didn't say that, merely nodded his head and extended his hand over Jaime's bed so that he could shake hers. "It's good to meet you. You two friends?" he directed that question at both of them with a bit of a raised eyebrow.

Not that he really thought Jaime would notice. She hadn't really wanted to look at him or talk much to him since all of this happened. He didn't know how many times he could say, in how many different ways, that he didn't blame her for a minute before it would make things better, but he supposed he had the dementors to blame for that.

He didn't really look at the ring when Jaime handed it to him, not realizing that it was supposed to be magical. He glanced over the design a bit before he nodded, going to hand it back to Jaime - she'd been the one to give it to him, after all, even if it was supposed to be Swan's. He didn't catch any glimpses of happy moments together or anything. But he hadn't really stared hard at the image. He'd just sort of given it a onceover.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

planted_it
2010-09-26 11:02 pm UTC (link)

Swan wasn't sure how to answer that. She hadn't ever really spoken to Jaime in a friend sort of context before this, and she didn't exactly think they were friends now. "I just wanted to help," she admitted softly. "I ... I heard what happened, and I ... wanted to help."

Jaime shrugged one shoulder, the one not attached to her bandaged arm. She wasn't friends with Swan, nor did she expect Swan to want to be friends with a freak like her.

She didn't even know why Mal was still hanging around here.

Taking the ring back, she turned it a little as she tried to find the image again, but the ring was dull and cold in her hands, with no indication it was going to come back to life.

Handing it back to Swan, she rested her hand across her middle as she stole a tired glance toward Mal.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

accordingtoplan
2010-09-27 10:30 am UTC (link)

"Was nice 've yeah," Mal murmured a bit, not really looking at Swan, because what he really wanted to say was something to the effect of 'help how?' It wasn't like anyone could get rid of the dementors at this point. They were apparently immortal. And all that the wizards seemed to be able to do was blast them with shiny things, or some such nonsense, and it was ridiculous and them being here was just... messing everything up, that was what, and so Swan wanted to help? Shiny. She could go out there and make the gorram dementors go away.

But he didn't say all that. Because he still had the vague presence of mind to realize that all that was impolite.

He clued in late, frowning and raising his head towards Swan as he followed Jaime giving it back to her. "The ring?" he asked, with a raised eyebrow. "S'magic thing or somethin'?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

planted_it
2010-09-27 03:28 pm UTC (link)

Swan nodded. "It ... used to be. I wasn't sure if it was or not anymore, but I thought it couldn't hurt to try."

"It was," Jaime assured her quietly, in case Swan somehow hadn't seen the pulsing lights. She decided not to mention the pretty lies it showed.

She honestly wasn't even sure why Mal was still here. Unless the doctor was making him stay in the hopes it would pull her out of this, or something.

Swan smiled softly up to Jaime before she glanced to Mal, wondering if she should go now that the ring had accomplished anything it was going to.

"Should I ... go?" she asked quietly. She wasn't sure she could do anything else, but maybe the glass might catch a second wind and try to work again for Jaime.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

accordingtoplan
2010-09-28 10:44 am UTC (link)

Mal nodded to that. "Good, then," he said. Anything that helped Jaime at this point was good. Unlike his doctor and mechanic, who were too busy either rutting or spending time feeling sorry for themselves to help his girl when she'd needed them.

When Swan asked if she should go, Mal found he couldn't really care less if she stayed or if she went, so he shrugged his shoulders, "It was good of you to come, t'bring that thing," he gestured at the ring. He said all that in case she did decide to go - he didn't want it said that he hadn't offered up some kind words.

"But don' feel like we're chasin' y'out," he added when more and more people were leaving early in the evening. He glanced down at Jaime, "Whatta you think?" he asked, in what was the most gentle tone he could manage in the circumstance.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

finder
2010-09-28 02:14 pm UTC (link)

Jaime thought Mal should probably go. He didn't need to be wasting his time here with her when he could be doing other things. "It's fine," she said as she shifted slightly to curl up on her good side, easing the bandaged arm over her middle. It hurt when she moved it, and the stitches pulled some, and she wished Kaylee hadn't saved her because she wasn't even worth saving, and why people were here, she didn't know, but maybe they were trying to build up good karma or something by pretending to like the charity case.

Silently, she reached out toward Swan.

Swan surrendered the ring again, hoping it would work at least once more for Jaime. She didn't like the pained expression on the girl's face, like a dog that had been kicked so many times it had finally lost the love and trust inherent in a dog.

Not that she thought Jaime was a dog, but ... it was that look, and it about broke her heart. She wondered how much was the dementors, and how much was just ... Jaime.

"It'll be okay," she whispered to her, even if the words were simply an empty promise. She just ... had to say something. Peering at the ring, Swan saw that the sapphires were once again softly pulsing, and oh, did she hope they were showing Jaime nice things.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

accordingtoplan
2010-09-29 11:39 am UTC (link)

He frowned a bit as she adjusted to lie on her good side, not sure if she was pulling away from him or if she was just... trying to get comfortable, and he felt a sudden stab of frustration. Here he was, doing everything he could manage for her while he was in this grumpy mood, and she just... what. Didn't care? Didn't want to acknowledge it? Was she done with him, was that it? She didn't want to be with him anymore, so she'd decided to off herself rather than telling him?

There was a small part of him that was aware that he was being childish and ridiculous, but he'd gotten good at ignoring that common sense over the years, and the dementors were certainly helping to block it out at least.

"Right," he said as an echo to Swan when she told Jaime that it would be all right. He stared at the jewels, wondering if it was just the way they were moving and catching the light that made him believe that they really were magic, and helpful, or if it was just his imagination.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

finder
2010-09-29 03:16 pm UTC (link)

Jaime let her fingers play over the dulled nubs that she thought -- knew -- had once been spikes, points of a true crown, and she thought it was a shame they weren't sharp enough to cut, and then she thought ... the ring wouldn't let her cut herself anyway.

She gazed into it, and could almost smell the world she was being shown. A little smile slipped across her lips before she closed her eyes, her fingers going slack on the ring. Jaime's head pressed to the pillow, and she sighed quietly.

It was a lie, of course, but it was a pretty lie. She'd never get to be with Mal in his world. He didn't even want her in this world. It was ... just ... pity or something.

She was having a hard time keeping her thoughts coherent as she buried her head against the pillow, feeling sleep pawing at her. She felt like she slept a lot since she'd been in here, but maybe it was the blood loss.

Swan picked up the ring when Jaime released it. She thought the girl looked a little less troubled now, and she hoped that Jaime at least had a good dream or two to balance out the bad ones she was sure the other girl would have.

With Jaime asleep though, she didn't really have any reason to be here. Swan rose awkwardly, holding the ring in one hand. She wanted to offer Mal some parting words of advice, but it wasn't her place to tell him that none of this was his fault, or Jaime's, and to just treat her gently ... so she kept her mouth shut on that matter.

"So ... I'll see you," she mumbled awkwardly as she started out. While she doubted he'd have anything else to say to her, she kept her steps slow just in case.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

accordingtoplan
2010-10-01 04:01 am UTC (link)

He watched as Jaime grew more comfortable, falling asleep, and he lowered his head into his hands. He didn't know what to do for her, what to say to her, if anything. If she was pulling away from him he wanted to let her, because like he'd always thought... they wouldn't work for very long. She'd get over her older guy phase, meet a nice boy her age and they'd just... drift apart. She didn't really want him for anything more than to satisfy whatever she was going through right now.

He did look up when Swan spoke, having almost forgotten she was there, and now feeling very guilty about that. He was being rude, and completely impolite and... he shook his head a bit, trying to clear his depressed thoughts enough to part ways in a reasonable manner. "Thank you for..." he gestured his hand. "Was right... right sweet've you, really, she... she ain't doin' so well, right now." He broke off awkwardly, not sure where to go from there, before he nodded his head and anticlimactically ended with, "Yeah."

She was departing, anyway - he didn't want to keep her. Turning his attention more fully to Jaime's sleeping form, he crossed his hands on her bed beside her, resting his head on top of them.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	planted_it 2010-10-01 04:03 am UTC (link)
	Swan hesitated. She wanted to help, but she wasn't sure she could. "She'll be all right," she said quietly. She did believe that Jaime would come through this, that they'd all be all right once the dementors were gone, but ... the words sounded pathetic, even to her. Offering him an awkward half-wave, she stepped out of the infirmary to head back to her room. (Reply to this) (Parent)