In Character F*ck my Life

Actually, pretty much everything lately. FML.

I'm getting one of my friends to punch me in the face so that a bunch of arseholes don't kill me over a girl I don't even fancy.

FML.

I get assigned two weeks worth of workstudy with a Professor I loathe and then a bomb falls on my head. I think perhaps my injuries might be able to get out of half of that assignment then go and open my big mouth and end up with two more weeks with the same Professor.

And on top of that, I think the most intimidating Slytherin of the lot wants me dead.

FML.

I got BLOWN UP. FML FML FML.

My ex girlfriend locked me in a room we used to kiss in, told me she still loves me and doesn't want to be with anyone else, and then asked me if I'd have sex with her.

I left her crying.

FML.

Almost my whole freaking family doesn't know me or who they are right now 'cause they have heads full of fake memories.

I gotta get them all back and make them remember or I'm gonna lose everything.

FML. FML A LOT.

Came back after having a brilliant evening with my girlfriend to find my two friends beating each other up. Broke it up and now am getting the silent treatment.

FML

I broke up with my girlfriend so my 'mate' broke my nose.

FML.

I watched one of my best friends die and couldn't do anything about it and now I'm discovering I really do have feelings.

FML.

My two best friends broke up due to a meddling queg and I can do nothing about fixing it because I AM DEAD. And not dead in I died in a COOL WAY but more in a I GOT HIT BY THE KILLING CURSE ACCIDENTALLY way. Fuck my life.

My girlfriend said she loved me, and I said it back.

FML.

I tried to move to Canada, and I really feel that the way I died was some kind of ironic patriotic punishment for that. FML--or at least those last few minutes of it.



I'm sorry I didn't get to say goodbye. I'm sorry I can see you all, but you don't know.

FMDeath, too.

Getting smooshed with a piano.

FML.

Worshiped the Lord in all his Glory. Had a fiancé, a home, even a dog. Damn it.

Fell in love with another man, another man. Fellow follower of God. Despite the obvious sin, loved him so much -- never wanted anyone more.

Only to find he's adopted. His blood parents? Same as mine.

FML. So hard.

On Thursday night, Rabastan Lestrange managed to get through the wards at my parents' flat and murdered my mother in our home; she was trying to call me on the telephone as it happened, but out of childish spite, I refused to answer it, and if I had, she might be alive still right now. The next morning, I stupidly threatened to kill Orson Mulciber, who is his nephew, and possibly disembowel his mother, and he announced to everybody on the journals that I was a murderer myself, having killed his father at the Battle of Hogwarts. Then on Friday, Fenrir Greyback sent me a death threat, and it was not even a photograph of the correct house; he also owled my younger sister a 'present' of a decapitated bird. The only good thing to have happened so far is that nobody has called me 'Cyclopstein' again -- yet. And I had been looking forward to a clean start to a new year this weekend because it's Rosh Hashanah.

FML.

My ex-wife is back in town after she kidnapped our son just because I happen to be a werewolf... Or something else because she won't tell me crap. Why the Hell am I not having her arrested? Also, my best friend is getting engaged when I can't even have a one night stand since my stupid condition makes me mate for life. I'm sick of him showing up to work smelling like that. Not only that but his girl is a werecat and no matter how cool she is, how pregnant she is... I still instinctually want to rip her throat out.

Why the Hell does this have to be so complicated? fml so hard..

i wasn't brave enough to tell someone that i was quitting cheer and i've totally let my dad down because i should always be brave and now she's found out and she hates me and i can't concentrate on my arithmancy which i am so going to fail and i don't even know what i want to do with my life!! i'm fifteen and i've never been kissed and i've never had a boyfriend and i'm going to end up some miserable old croon with kneazles for company and i'm going to die poor and unknown and unloved and unkissed and it sucks

FML.

I always kiss the wrong brother.

FML

I finally decided to start making an effort to do things again and reconnect with my friends. Now Anthony doesn't want to speak with me and Michael is calling me rude and a hypocrite.

FML

The final battle for the fate of England is about to happen and the Minister of Magic turned me into an Inferi after he kept my body in a closet for ~7 months. So now my mouldering corpse is going to go attack the Order members I died to help.

FML... FMD? I don't even know.