InsaneJournal

Wacky, Wanky Stats and Observations
While we're waiting for the reveals post, how about we take a look at what we all accomplished this time, yeah?

Our celebration of 2011's National Masturbation Month here included 35 fantastic fics and 13 amazing artworks for a total of 48 wank-worthy pieces. Featured in them were 30 different characters (or 34 different characters, if we count bonus guest wankers) pleasuring themselves in 34 locations with 37 unique items!

Hogwarts has clearly seen a great deal of solo action since the time of the Founders, if this fest is anything to go by. Nearly half of all the locations used were in the castle or on the grounds! Students and staff could be found fondling themselves in common rooms, dorms, classrooms, the dungeons, the Prefect's bath, Myrtle's toilet, the greenhouses, the hospital wing, Snape's office, the lake, the library, Hagrid's pumpkin patch, the rose bushes, a secret passageway, and even the Chamber of Secrets. Good heavens, the entire place must by covered in charms to spell away the spunk!

The rest of the world, wizarding and otherwise, was hardly left unmolested, however. Everywhere from Azkaban to Knockturn Alley, from the Ministry to the Forest of Dean, and even (in one particularly infamous incident) the Dursleys' kitchen at 4 Privet Drive saw some self-abuse.

And it wasn't just the younger generations getting in on the action, oh no! The perfection of wanking is a life-long pursuit. Just ask Alastor Moody, Albus Dumbledore, Irma Pince, Filius Fliwick, or Argus Filch, all of whom had some private (or not so private) moments here.

Speaking of wankers young and old... It will likely come as no surprise when we tell you that the greatest wanker of them all was Severus Snape, who was the focal character in 7 pieces. Somewhat more surprisingly, second place was a three-way tie between Harry Potter, Cho Chang, and Gellert Grindelwald, each of whom were the focal characters in 3 pieces.

Bonus double wanks! We had a lot of them. In fact, there were 9 fantastic pieces that involved two individuals wanking simultaneously -- whether both parties were aware of it or not. This makes your mods doubly happy. :D

The voyeurism and exhibitionism rates ran high as well. How high? Well, we attempted to count the number of pieces in which someone watched someone else wank, or someone wanked while watching someone else wank, or someone wanked while watching someone else have hot sex, or someone wanked in public, or someone got caught wanking, or someone wanked while listening to... Eh, you get the picture. It got damned complicated!

Anyway...

What we're try to say is that you all certainly are a creative and talented lot of wankers! There was an unbelievably huge range of ideas and tones in the pieces, and we're absolutely astonished that everyone was able to do so much with a few props and the general theme of masturbation. We had obscene amounts of fun viewing and reading the art and fic as it came in, and we sincerely hope you enjoyed them as much as we did.

Reveals are scheduled to go up in ten hours. The Wanktastic Awards will follow not too long thereafter. Keep watching us throughout the day for those posts and more. It ain't over 'til the battery runs down...