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Tweak says, "Straight to #1"

Peter Pettigrew (p__pettigrew) wrote in hogwarts_dawn,
@ 2021-04-20 21:52:00

Entry tags:

character: peter pettigrew, character: sirius black

RP: Peter/Sirius
Who: Peter/Sirius
When: 4:45 20th April
Where: Around Hogwarts
What: Peter checks on Sirius

Peter had kept an eye on Sirius for most of yesterday. He didn't want to approach it immediately, because he'd know that Remus had said something. Sirius was many things, but stupid wasn't one of them. Still he watched as much as he could considering that they didn't even work together. Today, though, he decided to talk to him.

He was accidentally on purpose on the seventh floor. That wasn't strange since technically he still had an office here, one that maybe could be changed from agriculture to DoM. That was a lot cooler anyway. It was also big enough that it would accommodate a few people. So he worked a little in the office, mostly making desks and chairs float so he could decide how he liked it best, before walking down to where Sirius worked with Roxanne. He nodded at her with a smile, before turning to Sirius.

"Hey, it's end of the day. I thought we could go for a walk before dinner. It's a bit on the chilly side, but the sun is out," he said, lingering at the entrance, mostly because he hoped that he could get Sirius out before everyone left their offices. It wasn't that there would be a rush, but both Remus and Regulus worked on this floor and it might be a good idea to avoid the two love birds.

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p__pettigrew
2021-04-27 01:09 am UTC (link)

"Well, maybe that might be a reason why they don't come back. Also, shagging random Muggles works even less when they don't even know about the wizarding world." Not that it was going to be a problem here.

Peter sighed. "Sirius, again, you make it very difficult for people to think that you care. Whether you meant to or not, you've cultivated this image of the bad boy, the one who doesn't want to be tied down. When that's the image, the people you attract are the ones who don't want repeats." He listened to Sirius describe Kirley and a sense of panic set in. This sounded the start of another love affair. "What kind of people have you been shagging that don't even care if it's good? Fuck, I've paid for sex and I've made sure that it was good."

He squeezed Sirius' shoulder gently. "Maybe things are different with Kirley, because he knows more about you than the other people. Even if it's not serious, it's still different." Peter leaned his head and pressed it against Sirius. "Except it did change, Sirius. Maybe not as much where you're from, but it had started to change. Remus had started his missions and not being around. I worked so I didn't have as much time. What you mean is that you and James and Lily were spending time together."

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_withoutacause
2021-04-27 01:58 am UTC (link)

Sirius just shrugged. It wasn't like he could just sneak off to shag muggles here anyway. He wasn't even sure he wanted to anymore.

"Maybe it's different with women? I don't know. But most men, or, I guess, the men I shagged, they didn't care what happened as long as they got off. It was always quick, and dirty, and sometimes I was just..." Too drunk, too angry, too everything. Sometimes he'd let them hurt him because he felt like he deserved it. "But it was always the same bars. I'd see them again. But they'd never look at me after the first time. They'd gotten what they wanted." He shook his head. "Nevermind, that isn't what we were talking about anyway."

He let his own head fall against Peters, even as he felt guilty for always being so damn needy.

"Maybe. I don't know." It was different with Kirley, was it possible that it could be more? Was that what Peter meant, that he should let Kirley in? He was gentle, and kind, and affectionate. Maybe, if Sirius said the right things, maybe he'd want to stick around. Not that Sirius really wanted that from Kirley, but right now he'd take some proof of desirability from almost anyone.

"You guys were still there," he protested, though Peter and Remus had been gone more often. He and James usually had missions together, and Remus had just started disappearing for days at a time. Maybe it had been happening and Sirius just didn't notice. Or, more truthfully, he'd chosen not to notice because the implication was something he didn't want to deal with. Growing up. Growing apart. Moving on. Without him.

"So we grew apart then. We'll grow apart now. Maybe we won't all die in the process this time. I can't change it. I shouldn't change it. So I don't know what you expect from me Pete."

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p__pettigrew
2021-04-27 02:48 am UTC (link)

"Once again, Sirius, you went to a bloody bar to pick up random people whose names you didn't know. That's not really conducive to real relationships or even repeats." Peter shook his head. "You don't see how it's all connected, do you? I swear you're worse than me."

Peter smiled. "Just let people in, Sirius and you'll be surprised how different things can be."

He nodded. "We were, just not as much, and with time, we were there a little less, and that's okay, because that's not what drove us apart. It was the jealousy, the mistrust, the secrets. What I'm badly trying to say is that we don't have to be in each other's pockets to still be friends. WE just have to learn to talk like we're doing now, and even if we don't spend every minute together, we're still friends."

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_withoutacause
2021-04-28 08:42 pm UTC (link)

Sirius just laughed. Because yeah, when you put it that way... He didn't really have anything else to say. He'd said more than he meant to already. But still, he'd give Kirley a chance. A real chance. He'd let him in. Maybe Peter was right, maybe this time it would be different.

"None of us are actually any good at talking, are we," he sighed. He knew things were still complicated with Peter and James and Lily. Now things were complicated with Remus. Sirius hated it when things changed. But it was inevitable. He'd just have to take it day by day.

"At least we're trying, right?"

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p__pettigrew
2021-04-28 08:52 pm UTC (link)

"No." He leaned back against the wall, looking ahead. "We were all broken long before the war,I think. Except for James. Maybe that's why we all gravitated toward him at the start. He was the normal one. He was rich, good family, nothing damaging in his life. We- Remus was turned as a child. My dad died and his family never wanted to see me again, Mum working so much that I barely saw her, no money to survive, let alone presents. You and your family. How do you expect any of us to be good at this."

He nodded. "At least we're trying, and we'll keep trying, because this time, we'll get it right. So now, why don't we have dinner together? The two bachelors left. We can paint the town red, and by that, I mean let's spend the evening creating more of the map."

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