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the_other_albus (the_other_albus) wrote in hogwarts_dawn,
@ 2021-04-19 20:02:00

Entry tags:

character: albus s. potter, character: harry potter

RP: Harry and Al
Who: Albus Severus and Harry
When: An hour before lunch, April 20th
Where: Harry's Office
What: Albus Takes a Step Forward

Al had spent most of last night deciding the best way to approach his father. He didn't like going in without a plan, especially when his family was involved. He finally settled on meeting him the hour before family lunch, so that no matter how it went they would have a definitive stopping point. If it went well, then could go to lunch together. If it went badly then Al could have a sudden headache and not go to lunch at all. Win win, really.

He knocked on Harry's office door, confident of the timing but not at all sure about any of the rest of this. Talking to his father one on one was the only way they'd ever really get to know each other, but maybe they shouldn't. Maybe Harry only liked him because they didn't know each other.

This isn't your father. Not really. This is who your father was, not is. He's just a man, a man who is the same age as you. Treat him like that, instead of like your father, and this will be fine.

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ab_harry
2021-04-20 03:17 am UTC (link)

Harry was writing a letter to hand to the goblin at Gringotts in the hopes that he'd pass it along. Writing was a little of an exaggeration. There were balls of crunched parchment covering his desk. He really needed Glenda. Or maybe Hermione, but she was busy and he should be able to do something without going to her. Or something in general. This job was turning out to be like every stakeout he'd ever done: hurry up and wait.

He lit up at the knock on the door. "Scorpius, whatever it is, yes do interrupt." And why was he so bloody polite? Draco had never been polite. He frowned a little when the door opened and there was no blond hair. "You're not Scorpius. Of course you aren't. Sorry, Al, come on in. I've been trying to write this and-" He gestured toward his desk.

He leaned back on his chair and look at his son. "Is everything all right?" Now that the letter was slipping from his mind, his thoughts went in a very different direction. "Are you all right?" Never be said that he didn't assume the worse. "Sit, tell me what's wrong."

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the_other_albus
2021-04-20 03:21 am UTC (link)

Harry jumping to the worst possible scenario was so familiar that it sent a little pang through Al. He hadn't really thought much about how his father, his actual father, was dead. They may not have gotten along but that didn't mean that Al didn't still love him. He did, and he suddenly felt his absence very clearly. No matter what happened with this version of Harry the chance for Al to finally get his actual father's approval was dead and gone and never coming back.

"It's, uh, nothing's, nothing's wrong." He walked over to the desk and tried to smile in a way that didn't make him look constipated. "I, um, I just thought that, that maybe we, we could, talk. Just, just us. And, um, walk, walk to lunch, um together. If you wanted."

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ab_harry
2021-04-20 03:38 am UTC (link)

"That's good. Nothing wrong is always better," he joked as he relaxed a little more, but still wondering if Al was building up to whatever bad news there was. "That sounds good. We can certainly talk."

He wasn't sure what they should talk about. His Mum and Dad were great at keeping the conversation going at meals, which reminded him that he totally forgot to tell Sirius about maybe avoiding the lunches. He'd talk to his Mum first, he supposed.

"So... what would you like to talk about? Is there something specific or just wanted to save me from writing this letter? Because even the latter would be appreciated at the moment."

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the_other_albus
2021-04-20 03:45 am UTC (link)

"No, uh, nothing, nothing specific." Al took a breath, then launched into the speech he'd been practicing all night. He spoke slowly, but distinctly, not wanting to stutter through this.

"I think that you and I should try to get to know each other, and, and I don't think that's going to happen at the lunches. I know things with you and Jamie and Lilu are weird, but I want to have my own relationship with you, whatever that may be."

He let out the breath he'd been holding, relieved that he'd actually made it through the whole thing.

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ab_harry
2021-04-20 04:03 am UTC (link)

Harry listened. It certainly wasn't what he was expecting, but he could appreciate that. "Maybe the lunches were a bit ambitious, weren't they? Draco mentioned them, but it's just the two of them, and now there's my parents. Sirius showed up. I feel like we should include Roxanne, Ron and Hermione if he comes. It's becoming a bit of a circus," he said, chuckling.

"I'm not really good with that many people around. I'm better when it's just Ron and Hermione," he admitted. "I guess you feel the same, huh? So how do you want to do this? Random meets? We can totally do that.'

Harry could be oblivious in a lot of things, but he could also be very observant in other areas and that made him curious. "Can I ask you a personal question and you don't have to answer if you don't want to? When we met, those first times, when you arrived and out on the ground, you weren't stuttering. You did when you entered, but you didn't just now. Why is that? Why the difference?"

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the_other_albus
2021-04-20 02:44 pm UTC (link)

Scorpius wouldn't be surprised to hear that the lunches were actually Mr. Malfoy's idea. Al was more surprised that Harry was admitting some fault for something. Just one more reminder that this Harry was not their father, and really couldn't be treated like him.

"Maybe, um, maybe a bit ambitious, yeah." He smiled though, because he didn't want to hurt his Dad's feelings.

Al shrugged, he hadn't thought much about it, beyond getting here and stating his case.

"We, uh, we don't, um, we don't have to schedule, like, anything, really. Just, uh, maybe, maybe sometimes we can, um, yeah, just ,yeah, random meets. Sounds good."

And there it was. He at least didn't sound annoyed, or dissapointed. He also didn't snap at Al to 'stop doing that' or 'talk properly' like he usually would. Al had known how much his father drank, but seeing this Harry sober really brought home just how much being drunk or hungover changed his personality.

"I, um," he blushed, and rubbed the back of his neck. "I, practiced. That speech. A lot." It was one of the tricks he'd been given, a long while back. Repeat what you want to say over and over so you never get ahead of your mouth. "It, um, it helps to practice, keeps me from, uh, from getting ahead of myself. I, the, um, the stutter gets worse when I'm nervous. Or, or surprised, or, um, uncomfortable. So, pretty much always," he joked, though that didn't make it not true.

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ab_harry
2021-04-20 03:49 pm UTC (link)

"Do you enjoy the lunches though? Or would you prefer something smaller? Less frequent? I don't really know what the answer is. If I stop them now, I'll be blamed for that. If I don't stop them, I'm wasting people's time." It was like dealing with the bloody press. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

"All right, that's fine, but I'm warning you in advance that I might... forget. Scorpius does my schedule during the day and I do what he says," he said, chuckling. This was a little better than the Ministry. At least Scorpius kept track of everything, although as an Auror, he was in the field and avoided schedules all together. "Tell him and I'll have a break."

He sat up, hands on his desk, paying attention now. "I can understand that, but the point was why didn't it happen those two times? Was it the surprise? Were you angry with me? Are you angry now? And it doesn't always happen. I've heard you speak to your siblings and Scorpius. You don't do it with them."

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the_other_albus
2021-04-20 04:10 pm UTC (link)

Did he enjoy the lunches? No, not really. But he didn't hate them either, and it was kind of nice to see everyone, even if every day was a lot.

"They're... They're okay. I, I like seeing everyone. And, and getting to know Lily and James. But, uh, it's, it's a lot. Every day. If, if you want, I can be the badguy. If you want. Jamie and Lilu are, are used to my, um, extreme anti-social tendencies, or, or whatever you want to, to call them. Maybe, maybe like, once a week? Twice? So, so we have new things to, to tell each other?"

Al nodded, because now that Scorpius was in on this he had a feeling that random breaks were going to be magically built into Harrys schedule, whether Al was consulted or not. He didn't mind though, he'd been letting Scorpius run his social calendar for years.

He began picking at his sleeves, awkward and embarrassed and as always not sure of how to explain himself. Especially not to Harry.

"I, um, no, I'm not, not mad at you. If I was mad I, I would barely be able to get a word, word out. I, um, yelled at Lucius, Lucius Malfoy the, the other week and I, um, I sounded like an actual brain dead simple, simpleton. I, I don't stutter with Jamie and Lilu, and, and Scorpius because, because I'm totally comfortable with, with them. The, the less anxious I am the less, the less it happens. The first time we arrived, it was, um, sort of a, uh, of a fight or flight, uh, thing? I've noticed that when, um, when we're actually in, um, danger, that I can kind of, kind of hyper focus, and, and like I don't even think about, about words and I don't stutter, as much. I tried to, uh, harness that. It worked, sort of. But, um, I was so tense all the time that I, um, ended up sort of just, uh, falling apart after like, um, a week. Mum was, was so dissapointed. She thought she'd finally, well, um, fixed me."

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ab_harry
2021-04-20 04:24 pm UTC (link)

"Yeah, my parents are kind of awesome and I'm enjoying listening to them talk." That made the lunches much easier because he honestly wanted to hear them, listen to the little things that no one ever told him about them. "Let's see how it goes now that they are around, yeah? And then we can find a way to have them without making anyone the bad guy." He was pretty sure that he'd end up being the bad guy no matter what. "We can make a deal. When they get too much, we can just sit in a corner and pretend to talk."

Harry snorted. "Lucius has that ability to get people to want to yell at him. I started when I was twelve. Although, strangely enough, he's being a model wizard at the moment." It was eerie and he knew that at the right moment, he was capable of stabbing them in their backs. "That makes sense I suppose. I'm always more focused when someone is trying to kill me. This is just like that only without the murder. I can't say I'm used to the lack of murder," he said with a shrug. "I don't know about fixing anything, but when I was young, whenever we had to do something questionable I just pictured Voldemort. Maybe you can picture one of your siblings or Scorpius and pretend you're yelling at them. Have you tried that?"

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the_other_albus
2021-04-20 08:06 pm UTC (link)

Al didn't point out that they'd only had one or two lunches without Lily and James. If Harry wanted to keep trying than Al could tough it out. The idea of hiding in a corner with his Dad was both crazy and nice. It had never occurred to him that he might dislike groups as much as Al did. Maybe that's why he always drank so much before Sunday dinner.

"Okay, it's a, it's a deal." He smiled, and this time it wasn't quite so awkward.

For once someone, especially Harry, suggesting things he should try didn't get Al's hackles up. Maybe it was that Harry didn't seem to be passing judgement.

"I, uh, I've tried a lot of stuff. Mum took me to, um, a lot of Healers and things, when I was a kid. To, uh, make me stop." It always seemed to be worse after, especially with how dissapointed she always seemed to be.

"I, I had a better handle on it. Back home. I, um, I do better with, with a plan. When I know what's going to, um, to happen, so I can be, uh, prepared. This, the castle and, and losing everything has, well, I guess I'm, uh, just sort of, sort of off kilter. It's been worse, lately. But, um, I think I'm getting, getting better. Sometimes. It'll help, I think, when I have a, a job. A routine. Which, um, Scorpius said you need, need someone to preserve the houses in Hogsmede. I, uh, I could do that. Till, um, till school starts. Look for clues to the, uh, to the Vault too. If that, um, works?"

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