InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "CAPSLOCK IS GOOD FOR THE SOUL!"

draco_draconis (draco_draconis) wrote in hogwarts_dawn,
@ 2021-04-12 13:11:00

Entry tags:

character: draco malfoy, character: lucius malfoy

RP: Draco and Lucius
Who: Draco and Lucius
When: Late Afternoon, April 12th
Where: Lucius' Room
What: Lucius and Draco finally talk

Draco could admit, at least to himself, that he'd been avoiding his father more than usual. He'd been thinking a lot about his conversation with Scorpius, and hadn't missed his sons pointed looks at lunch the other day. He needed to talk to his father. Really talk to him. Tell him what had happened between them, and why Draco was angry with him. Hash out what life moving forward would look like.

Forgive him.

That was going to be the hardest part. Letting go of all that resentment and anger and pain that he still harbored for the man who had thrown him to the wolves. Beyond that, Lucius had done some terrible things, probably a whole lot of things that Draco didn't even know about. He couldn't exonerate him for that. He could, however, maybe move past it. Maybe. If his father was willing to accept the new world. That was a big if...

He knocked on his father's door, already regretting this more than a little.

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

draco_draconis
2021-04-13 03:46 am UTC (link)

Draco hesitated. He'd more than half expected his father to just take over the conversation, and now he wasn't sure where to go. He should have planned better for this. Potter was rubbing off on him more than he'd thought. Not that Draco's plans had ever been particularly good. He sat, taking the moment as a chance to think.

"Well, I guess we should start with what you know. There isn't any reason for me to repeat myself." Maybe Lucius somehow already knew everything, and Draco wouldn't actually have to tell him anything after all.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

hd_lucius
2021-04-13 03:50 am UTC (link)

"Know about what? About the Dark Lord's demise, and our family's role in it? Only what I've gleaned from the history books, which I am reluctant to give much credence to. There's what I've learned through conversations with others here, and from their conversations with each other."

It didn't amount to very much, and Lucius had purposefully avoided reading much about his own future. He knew enough to know that Azkaban had changed him and that Draco had paid the price for Lucius' failure, but not much beyond that. "I would like to hear from your point of view, what you feel is important." He paused, fixed his tea to his liking. "Even if it means you repeat some of the information I'm aware of."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

draco_draconis
2021-04-13 04:07 am UTC (link)

Dammit. Well, this is what he'd wanted, wasn't it? Wanted was a strong word, really. This is what had to happen for them to be a family again. Which he did want, and though he'd pretend it was for Scorpius' sake it was as much for his own as well. He still loved his father, despite everything, and if there was a chance for things to be different this time then he had to take it.

"Some of the books got it right. Not all of them though, or even most of them. Most of them villainize us more than we already were." He didn't mention that it was mainly to make Harry seem like even more of a hero in comparison. He didn't need his father to have more of a problem with his boyfriend.

"You went to Azkaban." He could do this. He'd just need to lay out the facts. If his father wanted details he could ask for them. "The Dark Lord was angry. He gave me the mark, and told my to kill Dumbledore. I failed, and Professor Snape killed him for me. I'm sure you can guess how pleased that made Voldemort." He still stumbled over the name, even all these years later. "He got you out of Azkaban. But it... Changed you. The Dark Lord moved into the manor." What else should he tell him? All the training with Bellatrix and the failed missions? How Draco had felt , trapped in his own home. How Lucius had become a shell of his old self, begging for Draco to please the Dark Lord so they could regain favor... "We all should have rotted in Azkaban forever, when the Dark Lord fell. But mother saved Harry. She lied to the Dark Lord and saved him. So when you and I went to jail, after it all, he spoke for us. When we finally got out... You'd already changed. Azkaban changed you the first time. After the second, even without the Dementors, and losing everything... You never really recovered. Maybe you do by Scorpius' time, but not in mine. I was worse then too. You and I, we haunted the manor. And I, I blamed, blame, you for a lot of the horrible things that I had to do. But, you didn't do that. Not yet. So it isn't fair to hold you responsible for your future actions. So, I can explain anything you want, but I'll try not to judge you for actions you haven't taken yet. Only the ones you have. And we'll need to talk about that too."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

hd_lucius
2021-04-13 09:05 pm UTC (link)

"Villains seems like such a dramatic term," Lucuius said, though without any heat. His son had firmly cast them as the villains, so what did it matter if historians had done the same. "I'm aware. I...came from there. I entered the cell and ended up at Hogwarts." He hadn't admitted that to his son yet, but he supposed that he did owe Draco that much. If he was honest, he owed Draco a whole lot more. "I...had hoped to avoid your involvement, but it seems the Dark Lord held you responsible for my failure."

He could only imagine how Azkaban had changed him. He'd spent less than an hour in the place after his arrest, and he still woke up dreaming about the cold, about the Dementors. He couldn't imagine if he'd spent an entire year locked up there. No wonder Draco had lost confidence in him. He could hardly blame his son.

"Your mother wouldn't have done that without good reason. I assure you she didn't care about Potter's survival. She must have seen it as your best chance." FOr that, he could not blame his wife. Draco's survival had always been the most important thing to them both, though from Draco's account, after Azkaban Lucius hadn't given much thought to his son's safety. He wasn't sure he believed that, though could see no reason for Draco to lie to him. "I don't see why tehre's a need to judge me at all. I did what I did and I don't regret my actions, except for what led to my arrest and our estrangement, if you can call it that."

He took another sip of tea. "However, I understand that the world has changed. Above all, I desire a Britain that regains its status in the International Wizarding community, and have accepted that means putting aside any talk of blood status." For now, anyway.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

draco_draconis
2021-04-13 09:17 pm UTC (link)

Sitting here with his father sipping tea and telling him that he didn't regret all the people he killed... It was surreal. Draco could just accept it, it wasn't like his father had ever truly given up his beliefs. He'd just done what mother wanted, and what would benefit him the most. Still, Draco didn't think he could just let that go.

"No, I don't think that's good enough." He put his hands in his lap, twisting his fingers together in an attempt not to clench his fists. "I don't expect you to change overnight, but 'I did what I did and I don't regret it' isn't even close to good enough. I believe you want what's best for Britain, what I don't believe is that what you think is best and what is actually best are the same things. I don't believe that you won't wait for an opportunity to twist things in your favor, even if it hurts other people in the process. And I don't for a second believe that you would put any of us above your desire to be powerful again. So no, father, that isn't going to cut it. You need to do better than that."

He wasn't even sure exactly what he wanted his father to do. Just, something, anything, that showed a hint of remorse. Or a willingness to try harder, be better, or even just accept that the Malfoy's would never be the powerful family they once were and that that was okay. Draco could never truly forgive his father if he couldn't trust him.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

hd_lucius
2021-04-14 03:25 pm UTC (link)

"You say that as if it's a bad thing, or that I'm alone in my ambition. Your precious Potter is no better, though because he's 'good' he's given a pass for autocratic behavior. I won't lie and say that I wouldn't take advantage of an opportunity that arises that would bring power back to the Malfoy name, but you can trust that overall I want what's best for our society, and our family, and I'm not unaware of what that entails." It was the complete truth, so he had no trouble meeting Draco's eyes.

"However, I can say that I have no immediate desire to take over anything, or step on the little people to get power back. I will do what I can to rebuild our society in this new world, and that means accepting that the time for pureblood supremacy is over with. It has to be wizards first now. I've accepted it." And in two or three generations, the purebloods would rise back up, but he didn't need to mention that now.

He wasn't sure what else he could say to mend the divide between himself and Draco. "I am deeply sorry that my actions so negatively affected you. I didn't want you to get involved with the Dark Lord, but it seems I was unable to stop him from using you to punish me. I wish I had done a better job of protecting you from him." That had been his main priority when Draco was young, keeping him safe, and that hadn't changed now that Draco was an adult. Not in any way that mattered.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

draco_draconis
2021-04-14 07:55 pm UTC (link)

The problem, Draco realized, is that his father was being completely sincere. He didn't regret anything he did. If given another opportunity to rise up he would take it. But he also meant it when he said he was sorry. He still loved Draco, and as angry and hurt as he was Draco still loved him. Would always love him. It didn't matter that he was an adult now, he still craved his father's approval and protection. He felt himself tearing up slightly, and dug his nails into his thigh to stop himself. He was not going to cry in front of his father. Not now.

"Well... Okay." He took a shaky breath, then pulled back on his Malfoy poise. "I believe you. And, it's a start." He sat up straighter, relaxing his hands. "Its going to take us some time to figure out what our new dynamic is. But, I'm willing to try. Scorpius wants us to be a family and... And I do too. I just don't know what that looks like. Yet."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

hd_lucius
2021-04-15 02:00 am UTC (link)

Lucius had a feeling that they weren't done with this situation, that his son's newfound do-good attitude was going to continue to be a pain, but he thought he could live with that as long as Draco was talking to him again. He didn't like how tense his son still looked, or the barely disguised emotion he was trying to suppress, but they were talking at least.

"We are a family, whatever our disagreements. I may not be able to say what you want me to say, but I can promise you that I would do anything to keep you safe. This time, I won't fail in that." He knew Draco was a grown man, but a part of Lucius would always see the small boy who came running for hugs whenever Lucius came home. If protecting Draco meant accepting that the old ways were gone, he could do that. "And Scorpius...he's nothing like I would have expected from a grandson, but he's a Malfoy and he understands what's most important."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

draco_draconis
2021-04-15 02:39 am UTC (link)

Draco nodded, holding himself back from giving his father a hug. He wanted to, very badly, but, not yet. He wasn't ready to give his father that much influence. Though he did believe him. He believed that Lucius wanted to protect him, and would accept Scorpius. For now, at least. Draco just hoped that nothing would come along in this timeline to change that. And who knew, maybe they could actually figure this all out. Stranger things had happened.

"Okay. Okay." He stood up, hands clasped firmly behind his back.

"Scorpius does understand what's most important. So. We'll go from there." He turned and headed for the door, but stopped before he left the room.

"Father? You say you'll do anything to keep me safe. Just know that I would do the same, I would do more, for him. Don't be the thing I have to protect him from."

Before his father could reply he slipped out and closed the door behind him.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(Read comments) -