Forseti (forsete) wrote in history_dot_com, @ 2012-08-06 18:23:00 |
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Entry tags: | ~bragi, ~forseti, ~thor |
where idols once stood (After the Death of Baldr and Nanna / Thor, Bragi)
It was here. At the edge of the water his mother had jumped from his arms and onto his father's boat.. into the fire. Into the fire and died there. Sobbing for Baldr. He had watched all of it. Watched his mother burn away, watched the ship cross the water in flames. He had stood there, held back by his family. All of them had wept. He had wept. His eyes were already wet now. Staring into the water. Could he have done something differently? Could he have stopped all of it from happening? The questions wouldn't answer themselves, and no one else could answer them for him.
Forseti had spent so much time with his other family members lately he almost felt like he was going to be sick from seeing tears in their eyes. From seeing the sadness that would not leave them, and the anger behind that. He wasn't sure he even felt angry anymore. He had felt angry, and betrayed. But the more he heard about it the more he wished he'd seen his uncle and spoke to him first. No one could give him an answer he wanted. That he needed. Who was to blame for this grave injustice?
Maybe if he had an answer he'd be able to rest.
Some pointed at Loki. Others pointed at Hod. No one would turn a finger on his father. Not that Forseti wanted to. But deep down hadn't he felt that his father went too far at times? So worried about his own death, so worried for himself, to be the one they all loved and always at the center of their world. Wasn't that too much father?
And his mother. He was angry with her, and not. It was an internal struggle. Sometimes he felt like weeping again. The beautiful woman he called his mother would never smile at him again. Would never ruffle his hair and encourage him to have a hundred children for her to dote on. She had thrown herself, in grief, onto that fire and left him alone. Left him an orphan. Left him to deal with all of this. Not just his father's death, but the death of an uncle too. And then her death.
All of it was too much.
He didn't turn when he felt the presence behind him. He simply stood there looking at the water and shielded his eyes to wipe them.
"Yes?" He tried to sound composed. But he was not.