The Gossip Witch RPG

Hot Hookups

It wasn’t surprising that at a party like TD’s- where little ‘resting’ areas were conveniently set up off to the side- plenty of people were hooking up. But not everyone was content to use the designated areas. MB certainly wanted to hook up with AH, but apparently, she didn’t want anyone else to know. Luckily for us, she’s not the most clever or discreet of drunks, as her pulling AH behind a stable to have her way with him certainly didn’t go unnoticed. And I mean during and after. Her twin brother McB definitely noticed when he saw AH later, covered in glitter in some very suspicious places and the tension between brother and boy toy was decidedly noticeable.

Couples News

There were two big, notable breakups this week that I’m sure everyone is dying for dish on. GM might be telling all her friends that she broke up with HP, but the truth is that the Boy-Who-Lived dumped her. Looks like this vain Slytherin has too much pride to admit she got dumped by the king of Gryffindors. I doubt she’ll be upset for long, though, chances are she’ll move on to the first thing with two legs that she can find. And of course, HP himself isn’t taking long to move on. He’s already gone out on a date with PvP; just a short day after dumping GM, he took his former Yule Ball date out dancing. Quite the romantic way to make up for his lack of manners all those years ago!

Weddings seem to be a bit of a theme this week. Obviously there was the wedding of SR and AR... or really, the do-over wedding, since everyone knows how they eloped to Vegas. And if you think they rushed planning it, well, don’t be so surprised. Rumor has it they had to get the ‘official’ wedding done as fast as possible before SR started to show. And speaking of showing, you’ll never guess who else is officially joining the ranks of mommie-to-be. That’s right, according to the test she apparently took, AJ is pregnant with DaM’s child! …. or is she? AJ seemed to start planning for a wedding pretty quick, and I’m sure I’m not the only one wondering if this baby is real, or just a ploy to secure DaM’s name and fortune? And weddings are normally happy places, but it wasn’t all happiness this weekend for bridesmaid SF. She brought her boyfriend CR to the wedding, and the snake certainly looked out of place amongst all the Hufflepuffs and muggles. Apparently he felt out of place, too, since he was soon seen fleeing the party… but not before he dumped SF in the middle of the wedding.

In non-wedding news finally, a new couple has made it official: DT and SmF are officially dating! But for how long? Everyone knows neither Gryffindor is good at making a relationship last. And rumor has it that LB is jealous of her ex-boyfriend dating one of her close friends, and has plans to try and split the pair up!

Did You Know…?

That HD got a job at Mungo’s just to impress ES? (But has he really started to straighten up, or is it just a cover?) That HA was completely high at TD’s party? (Perhaps it was another way of distracting herself, like the way she threw herself into planning SR’s wedding to cover for the fact that she’s worried she’ll be single forever.) That PP brought PW of all people to TD’s party? (If she keeps up her interesting choice of a plus one, she might find the invitations begin trickling in a lot more slowly...) That even though his sister disapproves, McB is still making plans to see EM? That AG and RV have finally decided to make nice, and all it took was RV violently punching AG in the middle of his best friend’s home?


Overseen

“Is there going to be a second date?” -LB “I have absolutely no idea.” -PvP “You’re gorgeous, he'd be an idiot to not want to date you, you know.” -LB

“I don't think I can do this.” -AJ “Of course you can. You're fucking brilliant, you can do anything.” -LQ “Okay... but I don't know if I want to do this. That makes me a horrible person.” -AJ

“I am invited to a wedding. Want to go with me? Oh...and there will be Muggles there...” -McB “What the hell would I do with Muggles?” -MB

“I will try not to feel like I might die at any moment.” -PW “Don't worry, I'll be gentle.” -PP

“Look, I can't keep this up. I thought I could, but it's not me. I think we need to end this. I don't want to be the bloke you're shagging.” -HP to GM.

Hot Hookups

And the award for the surprise hookup of the week goes to... PP and PW! Yes that’s right, this incredibly unlikely pairing got a little frisky at PP’s flat the other night. Not only did I never expect PP to lower herself to fooling around with a Gryffindor, let alone one from a certain red-haired family, but I’m equally surprised (as I’m sure you all are) to discover that PW has even managed to show an interest in something that isn’t parchment or files or work.

We’re filing this one under ‘hot hookups’ because I’m pretty sure the fact that they’re both still seeing other people excludes this pair from being considered a couple. GM showed everyone the meaning of classy recently, when she showed up at HP’s office for a shag on his desk. I’d suggest that perhaps HP’s superiors might have something to say about that, some way he could be better spending their time, but we all know the Chosen One can get away with whatever he wants. As for GM, perhaps she and PP can form a little club, you know, Desperate Slytherins Anonymous?

Couples News

The Couples News theme of the week seems to be engagements and babies. Adding to the list of newly engaged couples this week, we have LL and SC, who got engaged amidst a rather bizarre conversation about babies that ended in their walking around a fire together and singing some old Muggle song (don’t even ask). RV and IC also joined the group of happily engaged couples this week... though I’m told IC’s best friend, AG is far from happy.

And as for the baby theme that seems to be prevalent as well: SR and RR are already trying for kids, barely a month after their surprise Vegas Marriage. In fact, SR still didn’t even have a real engagement ring on her finger before she was pouring certain potions down the sink. In fact, with the rush second wedding they’re planning, one can’t help but speculate if maybe SR is already pregnant? And also in the is-she-or-isn’t-she category, let’s not forget to mention AJ. Though she hasn’t told her fiance DaM yet, AJ is more than concerned that she has a bun in the oven. Seems DaM has a bit of a predilection for getting his girlfriends pregnant before he’s married them... Oh I just can’t wait to see how he reacts to this news!

Did You Know...?

That GW finally responded to her breakup with HP... by sending over a box of his things from her flat, without even a note?

That OW recently purchased a small, private little home that his wife is completely unaware of, and that rumor says is not for her at all, but for his mistress?

Spotted

McB going to a muggle amusement park with EM. (Neither the place or the date are something his twin MB would approve of.)

DT getting close and personal with a female model in a ‘painting session’.

CV flirting with his bartender HA, unsurprising since he’s known to have a thing for easily-influenced girls.

CR and SF on a public date at the recent Falcons match, though apparently they’re still not as cozy as SF would like...

Overseen

“What night are you feel this week? I'd really like to take you out and make up for being such an idiot back in school.” -HP (to PvP)

“A man has needs!” -TB “You're so indiscriminate!” -MaB “Yeah? And? It increases my chance of actually having sex.” -TB

“It's just...Purebloods. I can choose who I like, it's just that...well, I suppose you know how that will end.” -McB “Ah yes, the disadvantage of being superior to everyone else. Not getting to see whomever you like.” -EM

“If your plans for this weekend involve joining me for a brief trip to Milan, then you're absolutely correct!” -PP to PW

“I'm late. Like.. that sort of late.” -AJ “Have you taken a test or done a charm?” -LQ “No. Don't want to. What if it says I am? Darius would flip.” -AJ

“I’ve decided I forgive you.” -SF to RW

Hot Hookups

SF and CR were going out on a date recently, seeing a movie and getting drinks together. But it looks like one half of this new pairing looks like this hook-up was a bit more of a hook-up. At least, if her complaining to her friend SR about not getting kissed yet is any indication. I’m glad I didn’t have to hear that whole conversation, I imagine there’s only so much ‘but why doesn’t he want to kiss me???’ that a person can take!

NS and MJ certainly don’t have that whole kissing issue, at least not after MJ ordered NS over her place to kiss her. Well, after several very awkward moments where NS had to work himself up to it. And DT and Smf certainly don’t have that problem. The pair could barely keep their hands off one another at the movie theater on their first date (several patrons very nearly got an entirely different sort of show), and they’d barely made it back to SmF’s flat before clothing was being shed.

Couples News

Are they or aren’t they? With GM shagging other people and HP proclaiming his intentions to start dating, it looked they GM and HP were definitely not a couple. Although the tables turned when HP showed up at GM’s flat for an argument which unsurprisingly turned into a ‘make up’ session. Is HP so besotted with GM again that he’s ignoring the fact that she’s still making plans to see other men? And has he forgotten already that he asked PvP out on a date? Well it wouldn’t be the first time he’s neglected PvP after asking her out.

You may have already heard the news about AJ and DaM being engaged (I’m sure single witches over the country are cursing AJ for snagging that eligible bachelor) but I can almost guarentee that you haven’t heard the real proposal story. AJ may be going around with a romantic story about an engagement ring on a pillow in the morning, but the truth is that DaM proposed in the middle of having sex with AJ in his office, right in the middle of the business day. What better place than that? Oh, and I can’t forgot to mention how the pair celebrated, by having sex in the back booth of the pub while it was filled with customers. Classy!

SR and AR took a trip together to France this week, but if you think it’s just a romantic get-away, you’ve got it all wrong. The real truth is that AR got an offer to join a team in France, and the pair is there this week to look at houses and prepare to move. Of course, they haven’t yet informed their friends and family that they’re planning on leaving the country.... oops! Did I spill the beans?

Did You Know…?

That ChW and PS are not getting their marriage annulled? (Does that mean I should call you PtW now, dear?) That MB is so upset over her ended engagement with BZ and her heated weekend with AH that she’s been taking unnecessary risks at work that are putting both herself and her coworkers in danger? (Rumor has it that if MB doesn’t calm down, there’s a chance she could be suspended shortly.)

Spotted

WH, sulking and keeping to himself... perhaps heartbroken over losing ES to HD?

PW, escaping to the home of PP of all people after an argument with his brother over his recent elopement. I’d be careful, PW... PP might be getting desperate enough that she’d lower her standards and try to take a Weasley as her new play-thing!

HD having drinks with none other than TD, in the middle of the Leaky Cauldron.

LQ getting all domestic and cooking for BW after he broke out of the hospital early to head home, against healer’s wishes.

Overseen

“I don't know what to do about BW. Do I just act like nothing's changed?” -PW “Ignoring the obvious isn't good for anyone.” -OW “I just want to know that he's okay and not have him get upset with me.” -PW “You can't keep your mouth shut based on not wanting people to get angry with you.” -OW

“Harry asked me on a date and I said yes.” -PvP “Hopefully this time he doesn't ignore you and all.” -LB “Hopefully. If he does, he better expect to be on the receiving end of some hexes...” -PvP “From you and me.” -LB

“So far there's been three fights, four things thrown at heads, two bouts of crying over unrelated things, and about as much sex as I've had in the past month.” -MB

“You'll have to quill in my show on Saturday as well.” -GM “I wouldn't miss it for the world, darling.” -AH “Brilliant. If you come see me after, I might just give you a tour.” -GM “I will be certain to track you down, then.” -AH “Great, I'm sure you'll enjoy it.” -GM

(OOC: NSFW in quotes section!)

Hot Hookups

If you thought HP was being a bad boy last week, when he broke his engagement to GW with a rather spectacular threesome, well you ain’t seen nothing yet, as they say. This week, HP was spotted whisking GM off to Paris for a romantic date. Could it be that the he’s already found himself a new love interest? Or is this just a friends with benefits sort of deal? They both seemed to enjoy the threesome they had with JS this weekend, that was certain, and I can exclusively state that GM’s request for a threesome with DM is still on the table. But HP isn’t the only person GM is seeing; she not only hooked up with her newly single friend MB, but also invited notorious ladies man AH over for an evening (and if you weren’t sure what sort of things AH likes to get up to, just take a look at the ‘overseen’ section below.)

In other less steamy hookups, we have a few new pairings of interest. After spending a long time locked in a lift together, SF and CR were seen getting drinks together, after which SF not-so-subtly asked CR to walk her home. Apparently she should have been a little less subtle, if she wanted that to go anywhere. MJ and NS went on a date recently, and didn’t find out till after, that they’re both from the wizarding world. Apparently, they each thought the other was a muggle! How…. Cute? And in a rather surprising turn of events, best friends for years DT and SmF took their relationship to an entirely new level recently by snogging in the middle of Diagon Alley. And of course, SmF didn’t wait long before getting DT back to his flat, same as he does all his other hookups.

Couples News

By now, most of everybody who is anybody has heard about the big society breakup. But I’m sure not all have you have heard the dirty secrets as to why this ‘perfect couple’ of BZ and MB have ended their engagement. Turns out MB cheated on BZ with an old flame, and when she confessed it to him, he broke the engagement. Oh, not to mention he called her a whore, a title MB seems to be trying to meet this week, first with her hookup with GM, then a random bloke she met while out, and now her overly sexual back and forth conversations with AH on the journals.

If one engagement is ending, has another just begun? HJ took TD on a surprise trip to Hawaii this weekend, and rumor has it that while he was there, he popped the question! Could it be wedding bells in the future for this happy (if quick-moving) pair?

Speaking of happy pairs… well, not all of them are always happy, especially the newly-married ones. LW and OW got into a huge fight recently over OW’s daughter. It seems that no matter whether LW considers herself his daughter’s mum, when it comes down to it, Daddy knows best. And our other pair of newlyweds, SR and AR, already seem to be on the rocks. First with a huge argument that nearly ended in AR storming out… and then the next day, AR was seen getting cozy with PvP. The pair was walking hand-in-hand and looking very friendly as they went on a little shopping trip together. He may say they’re ‘just friends’, SR, but you of all people know what a guy really means when he says that, right?

GW Exclusive

Some of you might already know that the oldest child of a certain ginger-haired clan is in the hospital this week after surviving an attack (more on that below). Well there was one brother who wasn’t sitting anxiously at the hospital, and that would be ChW. In fact, not only was the second-oldest brother not at the hospital… he was out having a wild night on the town with bartender PS. The couple got completely pissed and then stumbled out onto the streets of London, and I bet you’ll never bet what the drunken pair did next. Ladies and Gentlemen, may I introduce Mr and Mrs ChW!!!

Oh yeah, that’s right. The pair (who had only just met hours earlier when PS served ChW a drink), were so smashed that they eloped. Guess that’s one way to not think about your older brother nearly dying, right? Classy. I’m sure the nearly broke- sorry ‘independent’- PS is thrilled at making such a rich catch… but how fast do you think the famous Quidditch player will be running to get that eloped?

Spotted

RV taking IC to meet her parents, and IC later sneaking off for a ‘special conversation’ with RV’s father.

ES going off on WH in the middle of his office when she found out he knew HD was back and didn’t tell her.

Did You Know…?

That NL and EB are living together at Hogwarts now? (Wonder what the students are learning from that fine example of ‘living in sin’!) That BW was attacked by werewolves after he actively went out to attack them? (And that not only had his whole family been sitting vigil, but LQ as well? Seems someone doesn’t understand the concept of ‘friends with benefits’ too well.) That HD sent EM cookies to change her hair color, and got WH blamed for it?

Overseen

“You always look so pretty on your hands and knees.” -AH “You wish.” -MB “Once I'm done with you you'll be begging me for it.” -AH “You can't make me beg.” -MB “We'll see about that when you're on your back with your legs in the air.” -AH “Seriously, the Gossip Bitch is going to get hold of this and you're going to regret committing it to paper.” -MB “Would you like me to use my fingers, too? Maybe with my tongue. You do love that.” -AH “Suck my dick.” -AH “Earn it.” -MB

“Once I've got you all worked up from the tongue on your clit I might press a finger or two inside of you while I work you with my tongue some more.” -AH “A Pureblooded Lady is prepared for everything. She knows when to smile and when to be stern, her elves are ready to serve food at a moment's notice, and she is capable in the charms to heal a child's knee. A lady knows when to allow her husband to respond to an offense, when to answer it herself with a witty comment, and how to leave the vendettas and insults for the bullies and the bravos.” -MB

“I think one would have to devote at least a weekend to it. See if it's possible to reach the limit of how much sex a person can have. Since I didn't reach it with V, maybe the key is having more than one person.” -JS “All weekend long?” -GM “If you're up for it. I have a very large flat that's currently empty.” -JS “Sounds very appealing, actually.” -GM “Just you, or are you bringing a friend?” -JS “Depends, any objection to HP?” -GM

“And then there was that bloke I met in the lift, but given than he seemed like an ass I'm not sure that's the best idea either.” -SF “Perhaps if you asked said bloke from the lift, he might say yes if only to prove he's not as much an ass as you think.” -CR

How is everyone feeling on this lovely day? A little hungover? Tsk tsk, you should all remember to watch what you drink! Yes, even at parties hosted by well-known Aurors. You never know when someone’s slipped something into the punch! Like, say, a potion that lowers inhibitions? Though it looked like all of you enjoyed that little surprise! I wonder if HP will ever be able to swim in his pool again, knowing that his best mates HG and RW shagged right in the middle of it? Then again, given what he got up to in that pool... but no, I’ll save that juicy bit of news for a bit later. HG and RW weren’t the only ones getting a little frisky. TD and HJ barely managed to make it behind a bush for their little romp. And PP couldn’t seem to stop flirting with PW of all people! Seems like without inhibitions, PP has a bit of a thing for gingers? Oh and SC seemed to really enjoy just watching it all. Can we say voyeur, much?

There were a couple people at the party who went above and beyond just shagging like bunnies. I’ll save the best for last, so let’s talk about SP and AR first, shall we? Seems like a lack of inhibitions doesn’t drive Hufflepuffs to public displays of naked affection, but rather... well, to public displays of a different sort of affection. After quite a few cups of my special punch, SP and AR had a rather exciting evening when they took off to Las Vegas and yes, you guessed it, eloped! Congrats to the happy couple! I’m sure your hazy memories of a drunken ceremony, gambling, drinking, and a surprise trip to a tattoo parlor will be just the sort of thing you want to tell your kids someday!

I did mention saving the best for last, didn’t I? Well the best would certainly be the shenanigans of the party’s host himself, HP. It seems a few cups of punch made the Boy-Who-Lived forget the little problem of his current engagement to one GW... because he found himself in the pool with a naked popstar between him and SmF and trust me, he definitely didn’t have his fiancee on his mind. Seemed like HP and SmF were poised to take LQ inside for the night when out of nowhere BW appeared to pluck her right out of their grasp. Someone was looking more than a little jealous for claiming to just be a shag buddy. Of course, HP and SmF didn’t take long to fill the gap LQ had left. HP immediately led SmF to GM (the witch he’s been secretly seeing behind GW’s back for at least a week now!). Seems like GM doesn’t have any issues with Gryffindors at all (or she’s just too desperate to care?), if the way she followed the two Gryffindor men inside was any indication. Not only did she enjoy herself while under the influence, it seems GM is determined to enjoy herself with HP again. I can reveal exclusively here, that she’s pleaded with HP to have a threesome with her and none-other than his long-time enemy, DM! Guess the engagement is off, then? Unless GW is into the sharing sort of thing... wonder if she’d even notice?

Of course, the party wasn’t the only exciting thing to happen this week. Plenty of couples decided to make the move forward and move in with each other! Of course, SP (or is it SR now?) moving into AR’s flat was rather overshadowed by their surprise elopement, but still! It’s not like moving in and eloping after dating for a couple weeks is at all moving to fast, is it? HJ moved in with TD as well, in a brand new flat (which they apparently ‘broke in’ before even putting an offer on it!), and AG has moved out of SmF’s flat and into a home with SD! Has he finally decided to settle on one man?

Spotted: WH having an argument in the middle of the street with HD... the former boyfriend of WH’s roommate ES! HD hasn’t been seen in awhile since he took of to India. But he’s back now... wonder what ES thinks about that? CV apparently having found a new person to mooch off of! He’s been seen spending quite a lot of time at JS’s flat lately, after answering her random offer for pretty much random sex in the journals. Looks like someone not only took the offer, but decided to hang around for more!


You know, I’ve missed meddling in all your lives. I think I might have to make sure not to take such a long break before the next time.... You know you love me!

XOXO,
The Gossip Witch

Hot Hookups

It was shocking enough when LQ brought BW as her date to a certain recent wedding. Even more shocking was that afterwards, BW whisked LQ off to another country, where they’ve been ever since, even ignoring certain memorials the day after the wedding in favor of their ‘sight seeing’ (and by sight seeing I of course mean constant shagging) in Bosnia & Herzegovina.

Last time I reported that AJ is moving in with DaM. Well it seems her brother has wasted no time in catching up with his sister. He and TD were seen hunting for apartments together recently after HJ asked TD at the wedding if she’d like them to move in together. The question is, is he doing it because he wants to? Or is it really because of that good old twin competitive streak?

HP may be engaged to GW, but he doesn’t see much of her these days. According to Ministry gossip, he’s been spending his time working late at his desk... and by ‘working late’ I mean, working a certain DMLE assistant over his desk. Tsk tsk, HP!

Couples News

The biggest couple news of all this week is OW getting married to the former-LB, who is now officially LW! But the wedding news might not be as happy as everyone would think. First off, rumor has it that OW was spotted getting cozy on the streets of Tutshill with a tall leggy blonde who was not his then-fiancee. And of course, there’s the very obvious fact that the newly-wedded couple isn’t even taking a honeymoon. Yes, OW has nixed that tradition for- what else?- Quidditch practicing, of course!

The little love triangle between AG and his two boyfriends, SmF and SD has been going on for ages now, but it looks like AG has finally made a choice... or as he? AG was recently seen begging SD to come back to England and get a house with him... but he’s still living with SmF, and with only one bed in that small flat, one has to wonder if they’re still more than just friends...

GW Exclusive

It seemed for a couple weeks there that one couldn’t pick up a gossip rag without seeing AR and his captain AS splashed all over the covers, and fans were all abuzz about the ‘power couple’. But it looks like this couple isn’t what it seems, either. Not only did AR recently dump AS for his longtime friend SP, it turns out the two were having an affair behind AS’s back nearly the whole time! Although no one should be surprised that SP was the one to break up this pair. She has a thing for Puddlemere players, after all... and everyone knows she’s had a vendetta against the team since one of their other chaser’s dumped her for the team’s seeker! But that isn’t even the biggest news! No, the biggest of the gossip is that they’re not just dating: SP is pregnant with AR’s child! The couple was seen attending a birthing class together and leaving later with a brand new stroller! Cheating, boyfriend stealing and an illegitimate child on the way? Well we’ve got Gryffinwhores and Slytherbitches, but it looks like now, we’ve got a Huffleslut as well!

Did You Know...?

That EB’s little ‘bar fight’ isn’t at all what she says it is? (If you want to know what really happened, you should ask CW, who apparently found her in a compromising position in an alley and brought her into Mungo’s himself.) That AJ isn’t just taking over DaM’s family, she’s also trying to take over his business as well? (Rumor has it she’s been seen meeting with some pub owners behind his back, planning to start her own pub!) That SF is finding it so hard to get over her affair with RW that she’s moved back to the muggle world? That PW may have just invited CC to the wedding as a friend, but she’s so in love with him that her obsession with seeing him is starting to border on stalking?

Spotted

RW & HG celebrating their eight year anniversary in Paris, France, with HG looking much less pleased than you might expect... seems like HG was expecting a certain ring, and definitely did not get one.

CV being admitted to St. Mungo’s mental ward, where he stayed for several days.

RV buying oversized clothes and eating way more than usual... perhaps enough for two? And this is something she’s definitely keeping from both IC and his family.

Hello my darlings, did you miss me? Now I’m sure you all wondered where I was, but even the Gossip Witch needs to take a vacation every once in awhile! But don’t worry, just because I was lounging in Tahiti getting served drinks by gorgeous shirtless blokes, doesn’t mean I didn’t have an Eye on things while I was gone. And plenty of absolutely fascinating things did happen while I was gone. Though you’ll have to forgive the lack of my usual dramatic formatting, dears, I’m just a little portkey-lagged.

There were quite a few hookups of both the dating and sexual variety this week, and of course I have to dish on all of them. The first little rumor was just an honest mistake... or was it? When ES ran into NS this week, she was under the impression that he and CV are dating. Which NS was quick to deny, because that’s just silly, right? Or is it? CV and NS do seem very close, and who knows what they got up to in that one bed they used to share.

Now as you all know, LQ and AP broke off their engagement a few weeks ago, and it looks like LQ hasn’t waited long to move on. Or, should I say, to drop back down to wear she belongs? After months of trying to to fit in with the Pureblood elite (none of whom wanted anything to do with her) LQ has finally returned to her roots with a quick and dirty shag in a back office with none other than BW. Well I guess it didn’t take this Gryffindor long to end up on her back, right where she belongs, right?

Now anyone who has seen the gossip rags lately can’t have missed the newest ‘It’ couple on the scene, or all the drama and gossip that comes along with it. Well there’s always drama when two Quidditch players date, right? Especially since AR and AS are not only on the same team, but AS is AR’s Captain. Talk about a great way to motivate your team, right, AS? It doesn’t seem like she’s so proud of her relationship, given that she hasn’t told her friends about it... then again, AR told his friends, and neither of them seemed pleased at all, so maybe AS has the right idea. Or maybe, this relationship isn’t quite what it seems... rumor has it, AR’s been seen getting more than friendly with another woman this weekend...

While one couple might be faltering, another is jumping forward by leaps and bounds. AJ has been seen proclaiming herself as DaM’s daughter’s mother this week (apparently with approval from DaM), and who ever saw that coming? AJ, a mother? Not only that, but apparently the pair have decided to officially move in together and are even looking for a house! Wonder what AJ’s twin with think of that...

It seems like getting a house is the thing to do for couples this week. Newly married couple MF and KB (or is it KF now, darling, you never said!) bought an ocean-size house recently that looked nothing like where one would expect MF to live. Seems like KB had MF well and truly wrapped around her finger... though she must have, to have gotten the notorious bachelor to not only marry her, but move in with her as well. And in a house with plenty of extra rooms, which makes me wonder... is this couple already planning to start a family?

And just to round things up with some quick dish: HP seems to have found another Gryffindor to fill his best mate’s spot in his home when he asked DT to move in recently. (Apparently completely ignoring the awkwardness of having his fiancee’s ex in the same house as him.) OW hired a new lawyer this week, and with his wedding just a week off, I can’t help but wonder... was someone working on a prenup? The rumors are still swirling that LB just wants to get her hands on OW’s fortune, and with DM as a lawyer, you can be sure that’ll be one air tight prenup. (Should be an interesting wedding, too, with some of the couples we've heard are attending together. CC and PW? LQ and BW?)

TD broke her usual mold recently and brought HJ to church with her, something she’s never done before. Is being with HJ helping to bring TD back down to her slummier muggle roots? And don’t believe it if anyone ever says cheating is bad for a relationship, because it seems to have done wonders for RW and HG. The pair took off for a romantic two week trip to Greece recently, where they finally got back to certain more intimate aspects of their relationship. Looks like RW’s little plan worked exactly the way he wanted it to. And finally, IC may be back home, but it looks like his drama with AG hasn’t settled down at all. I doubt AG will be very pleased with the fact that IC brought RV to meet his parents, who adored her (unlike AG). Or that IC then invited RV to officially move in with him. Tough luck, AG, looks like you’ve been replaced! Course he’s still got SmF to cling to, but not much more than that, given that his other lover, SD, recently fled the country.

And that’s all for this week, my loves. I promise not to disappear again! You know you love me...

XOXO,
The Gossip Witch

Well I don’t know what is up with you lot this week but you’re being utterly boring! I can’t be the only one who fondly remembers when you were all constantly embroiled in drama and being, you know, interesting. Can I? Well if I’m the only one than I suppose I’ll just have to remind you... Which is why for this week’s post, I’ll be dragging up some dirt from the past that you might not have heard before...

Did you know that AJ was telling her friends how much she really liked CW just days before she started shagging DaM. Is someone settling, perhaps? There are plenty of people who won’t settle, though. Like CC, who hasn’t had sex with a single person since she broke up with MC years ago. Or DG who was so determined not to settle for being single that she manipulated the relationship of her close friend TD and her ‘brother’ CW, causing them to break up so that she could have CW to herself? The things people are willing to do for love, I swear... Take, for example, RV, who has used love potions to get herself every relationship she’s ever had. Including her current one! Let’s see, who else has done crazy things for love? How about KB, who faked a pregnancy to get MF to stay with her?

Forget love, some people will do anything just for sex! Like DM, who convinced SF to get a divorce because he was having an affair with her. Or MB, who lost her virginity to muggleborn IC (nevermind that he’s famous now, she dumped him for having dirty blood immediately after she got what she wanted). TD may be known for her exploits with men, but did you know that when she can’t find a man to scratch that itch, she and KR were known to ‘help each other out’? That’s definitely a Slytherin thing, because on the opposite end of the spectrum, I hear CW and MF are known to do the same.

Here’s an interesting little tidbit. Did you know that renowned player/Gryffinwhore JS was actually engaged once. Her poor parents did whatever they could to find someone willing to marry that hot mess. So why didn’t she tie the knot? Because her fiancé-to-be broke it off after meeting her! Ouch, that’s gotta sting, JS.

But enough about sex and love lives. How about some real dish. Like the violent sides of certain people that you just never knew about? Take BZ; everyone knows about his mother’s little ‘habit’ of losing husbands, but did you know that BZ actually helped her ‘lose’ the last one? Well, everyone knows that Slytherins don’t exactly have morals. Take MF, who has used unforgiveables on people in the past. Or SD, who killed a man after leaving the hospital in Romania two years ago. And there lack of morals doesn’t just extend to violence. CV stands to inherit a fortune if he breaks his family curse, and I’ve heard he’ll do just about anything to do it. Or what about DaM? Did you know that the recent birth of his daughter wasn’t the first time he got a women pregnant? Not only do Slytherins not have morals, but they’re clearly unstable, too. Like BD, who used to be on medication for a mental disease... until she went off it against her Healer’s wishes.

And what about the goody-two-shoes of the other houses? Well trust me, they’re not as well behaved as they’d like you to think. You’ve already heard about how HJ was formerly a Death Eater and still meets weekly, trying to get his group of ‘friends’ back together. But how about the famous Chosen One, HP? Well he’s far more skilled at using the dark arts than anyone might suspect, and he has no qualms about using them to get his work done. Speaking of people in law enforcement who’ve broken the law themselves, how about SmF, who was once wanted for assault by the Muggle police after getting into a fight in a Muggle brawl and breaking a man’s nose? There are plenty of people who have gotten into fights that you’d never expect. Like JFF, who got into a fight and killed a man when he was in Azkaban! Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors, not as well-behaved as you might believe... and it doesn’t just involve violence, but drugs as well! Everyone knows SC grows marijuana in her back garden, but did you know that NL grows illegal drugs in the Hogwarts greenhouses? And it’s not just the boys, the girls are just as naughty. Like SP, who slept with the director of her first play to get her part. Or LQ, who had a foursome with three members of the Weird Sisters! Really, no one should be surprised about LQ though. Her three closest girl friends, AS, KB and AJ? Yeah, she’s snogged all of them in the past. In fact, one of them was the inspiration for her famous song, I Snogged a Witch.

Hot Hookups

There really wasn’t much in the way of hot hookups this week, although I do have a lovely little did they/didn’t they for you gossip lovers. CV recently got a very good deal on a new apartment from him and NS. And by really good, I mean rent that was exceptionally cheap. Which leaves me wondering, exactly what did he do with his new landlady, SP to get such a very, very good deal?

Oh wait, there was one other hookup of interest. MB took AK back to her place after LQ’s party this week for some ‘pie’. Pie, of course, being a euphemism for... well, I’m sure you can figure that out, right? Seems like neither AK or MB care that her ex-boyfriend is KT. Moving on from one guy to his friend, how classy, right? Just about as classy as hooking up your friend’s ex-girlfriend, I’d say.

Couples News

If you though HG would toss RW the moment she found out he was cheating, you thought wrong. Because instead, it seems like RW got exactly what he’d wanted with his little spectacle. Not only are HG and RW still together, but HG invited RW to move in to her this week, and he said yes. Of course, the moving-in day didn’t go as well as planned, what with SF getting her brothers to beat up RW in revenge...

EB and NL went on another date recently, but that isn’t the only fun EB is having with a boy. She was seen out with several blokes the other night, and who knows what sorts of shenanigans they got up to... I can’t help but wonder if that whole needing a sex talk thing was just a coy act...

It looked as if AJ and DaM were on the rocks this past week, what with them barely talking and snapping whenever they did. But apparently things worked out... or at least they seemed to have, when DaM showed up on the beach outside AJ’s home and the pair professed their love for each other. And then, of course, nearly shagged on the beach right in front of AJ’s Grandmother’s eyes.

Things weren’t so good for every couple this week, though. MC and CC’s barely-restarted relationship took a turn for the worse when he woke up in bed with another woman. And RV practically broke up with IC after pushing him away from his best friend, though the pair later made up.

But the biggest and most unexpected breakup this week was the end of the engagement of LQ to AP. After what I’m told was a spectacular argument, the pair ended both their engagement and their relationship, leading LQ to storm off in tears to a popular wizarding hotel and a suite which I’m told she’s yet to emerge from. Oh come on, LQ, it can’t be that much of a shock, can it? You know you were never really worthy of name with that much status.

GW Exclusive

So now here’s this week’s big news. I’m sure they’ll lie and deny, but you’re getting the truth straight from your favorite source, ladies and gentlemen. Straight after comforting her broken-hearted friend, KB pulled an entirely unselfish move... she ran off and eloped with fiance MF. That’s right. MF and KB did the deed, signed the papers, and got married. Sure, they’ve barely been together exclusively for a couple months, but what does that matter, right? Amusingly, the only witness to the happy occasion was MF’s best friend, CW... who does not seem at all happy with the situation. In fact, since his best friend is now shackled to someone else, it looks like CW has decided he and MF should break up! So if you’re looking for a new best friend, I’d keep an eye on the want-ads, CW will definitely be on the lookout. People who don’t like to share homoerotic undertones and moments full of unsatisfied sexual tension need not apply!

Did You Know...?

That HP is pissed off at his best friend for moving out and leaving him alone? That DG’s ‘migraine’ illness, is really something else... perhaps a way for her to get her hooks into CW once and for all? After all, nothing hooks a pureblood man like the promise of an heir, right? That AG broke up with SD and then promptly moved in with shag-buddy SF? That despite moving in with HG and ‘fixing’ their relationship, RW is still talking to SF?

Overseen

“I don't want you to think I was using you. I wasn't. I just- I liked being with someone who wanted to spend time with me.” -RW to SF

“What do you want me to say? I just don't want to see you fuck up your life for her.” -CW “How is this going to fuck up my life? Please, enlighten me.” -MF “You just married her... in the middle of the night! You two have barely been together... exclusive or whatever for a couple months and now you're married? You're mental.” -CW

“Are you going to make it through lunch without vomiting?” -CW “Apparently not. Poor Healer.” -DG

“Stop being so pissy about whatever it is that's bothering you. Or- and I can't fucking believe I'm saying this- but if you're frustrated, let your girlfriend (or whatever DG is) help you... work it out.” -TD to CW

“I want to marry you... preferably sooner, rather than later.” -KB “How soon is soon?” -MF “I was kind of thinking... you know. Like, tonight?” -KB

“I really wish I could just kill get rid of Slytherins except TD and DaM.” -HJ
Hugh wants to kill all Slytherins.

Hot Hookups

NL and EB went on a hot date recently, complete with plenty of snogging and plans for a second date. Only it seems EB is a little unsure about dating and all the sorts of things that come along with it, if her little discussion about the ‘birds and the bees’ with HJ is any indication...

This ‘hot hookup’ could also be called a ‘fast hookup’. NM and LD have barely known each other a couple weeks, but apparently they’re already ‘in love’ and moving in together! Talk about taking the fast track... or maybe getting just a bit ahead of themselves? Just because you shag a lot doesn’t mean you’re in love, kiddies.

Couples News

The big breakup this week involved an almost sickeningly sweet couple, AB and SP. See now I thought this couple was so sweet they’d last, but I guess I reckoned without the influence of KeB. As everyone knows, KeB has a thing for guys who are taken or involved with other girls. First it was CW, and there was even a brief fling with MF after he was with KB... and now KeB has set her sights on AB. It seems to have worked, and fast, if the speed by which AB dumped SP is any indication. Then again, when your girlfriend is as clingy and whiny as SP, anyone would take an opportunity to upgrade to a more easy model.

The biggest drama this week, came about when MF proposed to KB. Yes, you read that right; the rumors are true, this couple is engaged. They can deny it (or ‘no comment’) all they want, but MF proposed to KB in the middle of a public restaurant after a rather explosive debacle of a family dinner. But the even bigger explosions came when OW, KB’s ex boyfriend of five years, found out that KB was engaged. Granted, if I’d proposed to a girl twice and was turned down both times, only to find out she’d gone and said yes to a bloke she’s only been with (off and on) for a few months (who I hate), well... I’d be pissed too. Though perhaps not pissed enough to go off KB and call her a “selfish, overly dramatic bint”. (Sounds like someone still has feelings for a certain ex-girlfriend, hm?) Granted I doubt she returns those feelings, given as KB thinks OW is an “arrogant, self-involved prick whose entire life is predicated on being married that you'll find the first person who'll say yes.” Ooh, burn.

GW Exclusive

Now you all know RW, war hero and Auror for the Ministry of Magic. And of course, everyone knows HG, war heroine, employee for the Ministry, and RW’s girlfriend of eight years. The two best friends of the Boy Who Lived, the couple that everyone knows about. Now meet SF, the ‘other woman’. Oh yes, that’s right. It’s not all so perfect and happy between longtime couple RW and HG, though I’m not sure whether HG is aware of just how bad it is. For example, the fact that RW has been cheating on his girlfriend with childhood friend SF, a recent divorcee who seems to have her eye on snagging a famous war hero with no concerns towards whether he’s actually available or not. RW and SF were not only seen snogging at a pub the other night and then flirting on the journals, they always went out on a romantic date, where the two couldn’t keep their hands off each other. Looks like RW has finally decided to find someone better, a new and improved model! Though we wonder if the old model is aware she’s being replaced… her best friend HP is certainly aware, though he didn’t bother telling his friend either…

Did You Know...?

That AJ was convicted of cheating while playing for the Harpies, and sentenced to a fine and jail time? And since finding out has been avoiding everyone out of shame, including her boyfriend DaM? That SD sent a ‘love bracelet’ to AG (who had a visit from SmF the same weekend)? And that AG has essentially ‘broken up’ with best mate IC, quitting his job to go work for a dragon reserve and trying to move out? (And it’s all because of little sweet RV!)

Overseen

“Gryffindors are so fucking stubborn. I don't know how you two do it.” -DaM “I want to kill her on a daily basis.” -MF “Neither one of us were stupid enough to get involved with AJ. No offense or anything, but you know how to pick them.” -AP

“So... you and DGare fighting, I take it?” -CW “Until she pulls the stick out of her arse? Yes.” -AG “I think she pulled it out and bashed in my coffee table with it.” -CW “Good. It's about time she stopped being such an uptight, prissy bitch all the time.” -AG

“You lost a charity match. Stop bitching and train harder or I'll find someone who's willing to work without complaining.” -OW to EB

“No one would actually miss Wood if I killed him, right?” -MF

“He can piss and whine all he wants. Fact of the matter is you're not marrying him and I don't have to hire someone to kill him. I'm happy.” -AP to KB (re: OW)

“I mean, do you remember him in school? He's a pretty terrible person. And wasn't he JUST snogging someone else a few weeks ago? And didn't he shag all of these other people while she was pregnant? I just...I don't know. He'd better not hurt her.” -AS to LQ

Hot Hookups

Okay, so I wouldn’t exactly call this hookup hot, given who was involved, but it’s dish nonetheless. NL and EB got a little tipsy celebrating last weekend, and dancing turned into EB kissing NL and him asking her out on a date. I’m sure that will be absolutely thrilling. But hey... at least we know NL isn’t gay? Probably.

The Gryffindor duo of GH and AK both got lucky with Ravenclaws recently, though one of them more than the other. AK managed to get some snogs out of MaB; I’m sure it helped that she was not only drunk but clearly jealous watching her sometimes-lover KT (also AK’s friend) flirting with AG. But GH was the luckier of the pair, finally under the skirts of PR, who is apparently not as frigid as everyone suspected!

Of course, KT and AG’s little romp didn’t turn out quite as well. The pair jumped into the Thames together, an impulsive (and rather Gryffindor) act which lead to poor little AG getting sick. Just another thing she can use to get attention from her ‘big brother’ CW, right DG?

Couples News

As I mentioned last week, AB and SP aren’t quite always the happy couple. First it was Quidditch and work schedules getting in the way, and now... another woman? AB and KeB were looking very cozy the other night at the pub, and awkward as it might have gotten, the pair were definitely flirting. It shouldn’t come as too much of a surprise, after all everyone knows KeB has no qualms about flirting with whoever she wants, taken or not. And AB apparently isn’t quite as sweet as he looks!

The only real couples news this week comes in the form of some interesting (if cheesy) cards sent out by owl post this week. That’s right, OW and LB have chosen a date for their wedding, and it’s nowhere near as far away as you might expect. Then again, it’s not like the pair has gone at a normal pace at all during their relationship. So it shouldn’t surprise anyone that they’ve set the date for their wedding to the 1st of May, barely a little more than a month away!

GW Exclusive

It’s a love rectangle! And aren’t those just our favorites? Alright so as it stands, TD is currently dating HJ and CW is currently involved with DG (who is- sorry was- also TD’s friend). But as everyone knows, TD and CW used to date... and it seems they’re not quite as over one another as they’d like to seem. DG might be all pleased as punch that CW finally confessed his feelings to her... but truth be told, it’s not that special, given that he told TD over the journals last week that he loved her and always would. And HJ might be happy that TD said she loved him, but judging by the way she and CW were practically all over one another in the journals today, it looks like she’s definitely not over her first love.

Did You Know...

That NM and LD are hooking up so much they practically never leave each other’s sight? That MB was attacked by her grandfather and is now sporting one vicious scar that won’t go away? That even though PB is pregnant, she was spotted drinking at a certain house boat party recently? That KeB and CW’s annulment has finally gone through? That AS is currently not-so-pleased at her star seeker for skipping practice to get drunk?

Overseen

“I will always love you, TD and I'm sorry I couldn't get over myself long enough to see that because I know I fucked up.” -CW “I'll probably always love you, in a way. You were my first, I don't think that ever goes away.” -TD

“I'm going to say this nicely and with all the Hufflepuff manners that you lot enjoy making fun of: Would you stop messing with TD like you are? Yeah, it's not my place, except it is, because she's my girlfriend now, and I love her, and you telling her that you loved her and always will is messing with her.” -HJ “My seventeen year relationship trumps your two month one.” -CW

“Where are you?” -DG “Not wit Clinty or you'd see me.” -AG “Okay. Great. Doesn't answer my question.” -DG “Why you care anway? Go find boyfriend.” -AG “I care because you're my sister. Now stop being so difficult.” -DG “No.” -AG “Fine. Enjoy being a drunk pain in the arse. I'll talk to you when you're being less of a bitch.” -DG

“Hey, you want to get a drink or something? Just hang out?” -AB “Yeah, sure. That sounds like a lot more fun than sitting around my place doing nothing.” -KeB

“EB kissed me. I helped her home, after the pub, and she kissed me. And I think I might have asked her on a date.” -NL

“POTTER LOST HIS BALLS TO WEASLEY.” -OW “Which Weasley? If you mean RW, I'm pretty sure that happened ages ago.” -LB

“Someone left a lovely red thong in my loo.” -GH “Not mine. Mine was black.” -AG

“I'd like to make it known right this second. If I ever send out a picture that cheesy I expect you all to hex my sense back into me.” -AJ

“Please, I could make even Snape's old robes look good.” -TD “I'm fairly certain I'm not supposed to tell you that they'd look better if there was nothing on under them. So, I'm not going to tell you that.” -CW “Yeah, you're definitely not supposed to say that. And I'm definitely not supposed to agree, so I'm not going to tell you that I'd make those robes look ridiculously hot if I had nothing underneath them.” -TD

Hot Hookups

And this week’s odd-couple hookup goes to... CV and HA! Of course we can’t even really call them a ‘couple’ since CV bolted immediately after kissing HA and then proceeded to make his excuses over the journals, saying poor sweet HA just wasn’t his type. Such a sneaky little heart breaker, aren’t you CV?

If you want to talk about getting a little sneaky, BD and CM put on quite the show in the middle of a movie theater the other night when they got frisky in the back row. But don’t worry, it was a horror movie... I’m sure no one noticed a few extra moans and screams...

Couples News

Seems like the un-tameable CW might just have decided to let himself be tamed! TD might now have been able to do it, but it looks like DG has gotten her hooks into CW. Not only did he talk her out on a romantic sweet date, and bring her home to meet his mother, he also was seen talking to his friends on the journals about how he was falling for her! Now don’t go getting too mushy reading this, everyone. I also heard that Bletchley’s has bets on just how long this little tryst will last (and knowing CW, I’d put my bets on not long at all!).

Speaking of bets, it looks like a few people lost out on this one when KB and MF actually did get together... after a rather loud reunion in the National Team’s locker room. A reunion which I’m told hasn’t really let up yet (much to CW’s dismay, I’m sure).

Looks like there’s some trouble in paradise for a few couples, though. RV and IC may have exchanged those three little words this week, but it’s quite obvious that IC’s best friend AG doesn’t approve. And it looks like AG’s childish behavior is tearing a line between the “happy couple”. Speaking of things tearing a line, AB seems to be worried that his Quidditch career is getting in the way of his relationship with SP. Or is it more that the ‘clingy’ (as KeB puts it) SP just can’t handle sharing her boyfriend?

GW Exclusive

I’m bringing back the Exclusive this week for a little story I like to call “So Close, but Not Quite”. It seemed like MiB might finally be rid of his wife PB, having begun filing for divorce. But just when he thought he was out, PB managed to pull him back in by announcing that she was pregnant. Well the divorce is off, ladies and gentlemen... but never let it be said that MiB doesn’t know how to have his cake and eat it too. After all, while he may have informed his mistress LT of his wife’s pregnancy, it doesn’t seem to have stopped the pair from seeing each other, still...

Spotted

KT and CM out at a bar, discussing CM’s pregnant girlfriend, and KT’s flirtations with MaB, AG and KB (boy gets around!).

DaM introducing his girlfriend, AJ, to his daughter for the first time.

KT and AG getting drinks again, this time at the ‘privacy’ of her hotel bar (with her room just a short trip upstairs...)

Did You Know...?

That MaB is jealous of KT seeing other women? That AP the position of trainer for the Nationals team, giving him even less free time with LQ (which he does not seem to be complaining about...)? That little AG lowered herself to getting a job, and you’ll never guess where? That OW resigned as Captain of the Scottish National team (the position was quickly filled by LD) because his girlfriend LB convinced him to?

Overseen

“Having issues with your girlfriend? My advice is to tell her to lay off you, or get a girlfriend who's not as clingy.” -KeB to AB (re: SP)

“She says that now, but then gets all weird if she finds out I was flirting with another girl.” -KT (re: MaB) “Slip her some veritaserum?” -AK “She's a potions master. I don't think that would work.” -KT “Your second problem is you're shagging someone with a brain.” -GH

“I'm jealous. And I don't know why. And I don't really like it.” -KB “You're jealous? Of CW?” -MF “Mostly I'm jealous of the things that happen when you go out with CW...” -KB

“He kissed me and then left and then told me it was all an act, that I'm not his type, that it was a mistake. I don't understand it. He was so nice to me and I really liked him and then he did that. I don't get it. I haven't been drinking but I got drunk off of tequila when he told me that.” -HA to SP (re: CV)

“Kissing you was a mistake.” -CV “Why?” -HA “You aren't my type.” -CV

“Sometimes I look at you two and feel sick and I think it's cause sometimes, I think it's what I want and yes. I might be a bit drunk.” -CW to MF

Hot Hookups

I don’t know if this hookup is hot so much as, well, a little dirty. But hey, gossip is gossip, right? If you were at The Pitch the other night, you got an eye full of this hot and heavy action when the Greengrass sisters AG and DG decided to have a little contest with their respective ‘gentlemen’ (and really, I use that term loosely), CW and newly single MF. Said contest basically turning into which sister could be the most trampy while snogging the guy whose lap she was straddling. Really, those Greengrass sisters have some class.

Now don’t you go worrying that MF is moving on before KB is, because she spent a night over at KT’s place soon after. And don’t listen if KB tries to say the two ‘friends’ were watching movies. Because ‘watching movies’? Definitely a euphemism for something much more exciting.

Couples News

It’s official! DaM and AJ are officially dating. Though... I don’t think they’ve told any of their friends yet... Whoops, I spilled the beans! Hope no one is embarrassed... And who else is dating now? TY and GU have been going on a number of dates together, though things seem very formal at the moment. And former exes CC and MC who have decided to give things one more try. Ditto goes for PP and JC... at least I assume that shag wasn’t just a one-time thing?

It was a night of confessions for HJ and TD when they got drunk together the other night. And I don’t just mean the part where they said they love each other. (How sweet? More like how fast!) No, I mean the part where HJ confessed about his dirty little secret during the war. Only maybe he wasn’t exactly telling the truth when he said he’d been imperiused into doing the things he did. See, rumor has it that the ‘counseling’ group HJ says he’s going to? Is really a good of former you-know-whats, and they’re not at all talking about tattoo removal. More like plotting to bring those tattoos back into style.

Now you all already know the big breakup news of this week, seeing as how MF and KB can’t seem to find themselves capable of shielding us all from their ink-splatterings all over the journals. Yes, they’re broken up. No, neither of them seems to be able to talk to the other without spilling ink everywhere. We get it already! Will someone just lock those two in a room together or something?

But the big news this week is someone finally getting the ring she’s been after for years! That’s right, BZ proposed to MB, and of course she said yes. Looks like we’ll finally be getting to see a proper Pureblood wedding, right? I mean proper as compared to the other couple that got engaged this week, LB and OW. I’m sure that wedding will be some slapdash affair just like the rest of their relationship has been!

Did You Know...?

That CV is turning HA into a lush who can’t stop drinking? That OW has been distancing himself from everyone, including his fiancee LB? That AG invited boy toy SmF to IC’s first show in Dublin, and not his long lost love SD? That AP was offered the spot of trainer on the National Team (oh hey, look, another pureblood!) and is thinking about breaking contract with the Falcons to take the job? That JS and VF are going to be putting on a show all over the catwalk this weekend? That EB has been spending quite a lot of time with HJ, and was even seen buying some extra-girly clothes in her attempts to impress her teammate? (Who seems oblivious to her obvious fancy for him?)

Overseen

“How are things with Elder Greengrass?” -MF “I guess they're going okay. We're not dating or anything.” -CW “I didn't think you were. Not really your style.” -MF

“Still divorcing me?” -PB “It's for the best.” -MiB

“And is there anything I can do to cheer you up?” -KT “Well, um, sure? Did you want to go out or...?” -KB “Whatever you want to do, love. Whatever will cheer you up.” -KT

“I think I'm single.” -MF “Explain?” -CW “I've mentioned that she's fucking crazy, right?” -MF “She's a nutter.” -CW

“I'm really sorry... sort of my fault you're stuck with just me.” -CW “Ew. Don't apologize. It's not your fault and I'm not 'stuck' with you. I could have easily stopped interacting with you and gone crawling back to Tracey and her little minions. I chose you over her because she's a self absorbed bitch and I much prefer spending time with you. Even if you can be an arse at times.” -DG

“Two girls go out for a little fun and tease some guys into giving them free drinks (seriously, men will do just about anything if they see two girls snogging), and then pick a boy to take home together. Damn good debauchery right there!” -JS “It's a damn good plan, all things considered. The only downfall is that I never did like to share my toys. Perhaps we'll take home two boys. Three's company but four's not crowded.” -AG

Hot Hookups

It seems to be a trend these days, with the Slytherin males dating Gryffindor females, of all the odd combinations. First MiB married PB (although from what I’ve heard, that won’t be official or legal much longer), then AP proposing to LQ, then MF dating KB... and now? Well next on the list is DaM who went from dating DG to shagging AJ, well... just about everywhere. And it looks like she’s getting something out of it too, seeing as he’s recently promoted her to Manager of his bar. I’m not entirely sure that being able to lie on your back qualifies you to be a manager, but apparently it’s enough for DaM!

But don’t worry about DG having lost her eligible pureblood, because she moved straight on to another. Since ‘accidentally’ burning down her flat last week, DG has been living with CW, and I’ll give you one guess how she’s been paying for her ‘rent’. It would probably be an understatement to say that people were ‘upset’ by her new involvement... given that TD, who is not only DG’s ‘friend’ but also CW’s ex, blew up at DG and said she never wanted to see her again (a little jealous maybe, TD?). Although it looks like TD was right about one thing, and that was that DG should get out while she could because CW would never be able to settle down. Well, too late for DG now, given that CW spent last night shagging MF’s ex-girlfriend (and now sister-in-law) in the hallway right outside KB’s flat. Classy choice in a love interest, DG!

Everyone brace yourself, little AsG is back in town and she’s already causing trouble. First at DaM’s bar, where she not only hopped over the bar and started serving her own drinks, but also spent the night flirting with hitwizard KT (who seemed to have forgotten completely about his shag-buddy MaB.) Of course even that didn’t hold a candle to today’s trouble making on AsG’s behalf, when she handcuffed herself to a naked CW. I’m betting her sister DG will just love that.

Couples News

One couple took things a step forward in their relationship this week. Seems little SP isn’t as innocent as she might seem, inviting AB over to ‘spend the night’ which is apparently Hufflepuff speak for a booty call. Although granted, at least she’s not a self-proclaimed slut like AG, who pointedly told SD this week that he intended to keep sleeping around and seems to have no issues calling himself a number of derogatory names. Very classy, again.

Speaking of classy, I can’t not mention the way LB and OW have been behaving lately. Since a rather energetic night last weekend, the pair have been going at it like rabbits everywhere they can. Seriously, if you’re going anywhere the pair of them might be, I’d knock first. Although looks like this constant sex is going to pay off for LB, rumor has it that OW is going to propose to her soon... maybe even tonight.

Did You Know...?

That MiB broke MF’s face when he found out his friend had slept with his wife? (Will MF never learn? Though at least this time he managed to break MiB’s nose in return.) That AsG returned to London with a hell of a lot more money than she left with, and a broken heart left behind in her wake? That RV has been spending literally all her time with IC before he leaves on his tour, because she’s worried he’ll forget about her while he’s gone?

Spotted

HJ having drinks with EB to celebrate his being promoted to beater. HJ may have a girlfriend but EB couldn’t quite seem to keep her eyes off him all night...

CC and MC have a very loud ‘discussion’ in CC’s office... which ended in CC kissing her ex boyfriend...

Of course who knows what that means, since MC was also spotted over at SC’s place, where the pair got drunk and high and MC couldn’t stop asking about getting to watch SC and her girlfriend LL.

Overseen

“So how much should I bet on you to win, huh?” -KR “Hmm . . . you know, I think we should work out a "reward" system instead.” -DR “Hmm, I like the way you think. What do you want if you win?” -KR “You. Gryffindor Scarf. And socks. Nothing else.” -DR

“Are you falling for DaM?” -KB “I am not falling for DaM. He's a good shag and a good boss, but he's a fucking Slytherin pureblood and so not my type. I don't like him like that.” -AJ “Good. He's boring.” -KB

“You fucking bitch. Don't ever talk to me, ever again. I don't want to see your face, I don't want to see you on the journals, I don't want to hear you. You're the worst fucking friend ever. I don't care if we were fighting or you thought I was mad at you. You shagged the only man I ever fucking loved, and you were my friend. I will never forgive you.” -TD to DG

“Would you like me to slip her a potion? I could make all her hair fall out.” -RV “Yes. I would. Her stupid blonde hair.” -TD

“I like the guy, I do, but he gets around faster than the bubonic plague in fourteenth century London.” -AP (re: CW)

“I'm worked up because I was THERE for her when she needed someone and when I needed someone? All she could focus on was the one mistake I made because she's such a self-centered bitch that she can't seem to past the end of her awful nose. I can't for the life of my figure out why she's so hostile, however. Her Hufflepuff must be awful in bed.” -DG

“I strongly suggest that if you come into the pub again while I'm working that you don't get behind my bar.” -AJ “Oh, I'm sorry. Are you the owner or the help?” -AsG

“If you bring someone back, try not to be too loud.” -DG “I'm not that inconsiderate.” -CW “Well it's good to know you draw the line somewhere.” -DG

“COULD YOU PLEASE STOP RUINING EVERY LITTLE BIT OF TIME I FUCKING HAVE WITH HIM?!?! YOU'RE A FUCKING ADULT FOR FUCK'S SAKE!! DEAL WITH YOUR OWN SHIT FOR FIVE MINUTES!!!” -KB to CW

“Persephone was there and I was annoyed... so I fucked her.” -CW “Wait. What?” -MF “I don't know. I got annoyed so I pushed her in the hall... Didn't want to defile your girlfriends flat and made her give me head...” -CW

“I slept with someone else.” -CW “Thanks for sharing.” -DG “No you're not. Or else you wouldn't have done it.” -DG “I knew you'd be mad. This is why I avoided fucking around with you and why we never should've done it.” -CW “Actually, I wasn't mad, but now I am. I'm sorry that sleeping with me was such a big bloody mistake. Merlin. You're suck a fucking arse sometimes.” -DG “Way to act like fucking little girl, Greengrass.” -CW

Hot Hookups

While most people were off being romantic with their significant others on Valentine’s Day, DaM seemed to be purposefully avoiding his. Though he wasn’t, of course, avoiding women in general. Instead of doing something special with DG, DaM headed to his bar instead to meet up with another of his employee’s, AJ. And if the amount of time during which the pair disappeared into the back room was anything to judge by, DaM definitely has a type... and it isn’t blondes, it’s employees. Well isn’t that just a sexual harassment claim waiting to happen!

Memory loss or not, it looks like SD and AG aren’t hesitating to pick up where they left off. The couple had dinner together the other day and then went back to SD’s place for a little ‘alone time’. Seems like AG has already forgotten his little tryst with SmF and moved on to greener (as in richer) pastures...

Couples News

For once, our resident unhappily married couple MiB and PB seem to almost be getting along... at least if the fact that MiB woke up in his wife’s bed the other day is anything to judge by. But how can anyone know if these two can really make it if they’ve still got some skeletons in the closet? After all, isn’t it a little unfair for PB to know about her husband’s lover when he doesn’t know all the details of her little indiscretions? For example, that the very first of them was with none other than MF, who happens to be one of her husbands close friends? I’m sure neither of them have forgotten all the fun they had together at that society event, right out on the balcony where anyone could have seen them...

GW Exclusive

Since I already broke the news about a recent wedding, how about some news about what usually comes next in that little timeline? Though granted, BD and CM certainly aren’t going by any timelines, given that they’re not even officially living together and BD recently found out she’s knocked up. That’s right, the illegitimate half-sister of PP managed to find a brilliant way to permanently shackle herself to well-known Quidditch player CM, by getting herself pregnant with his child. After all, how else would that neurotic basket case keep an eligible bachelor tied down? Well I suppose congratulations are in order, at least for BD. Seems she does have that Slytherin ambition after all...

Did You Know...?

That rockstar IC and popstar LQ are getting together to perform a very intimate duet at a benefit tonight? (They may both be tied to their significant lovers, but there are definitely sparks between this pair of musicians!) That DG is angry at CW for marrying KeB, not because she’s upset at his irresponsibility, but because she’s jealous and wants him for herself? That OW has been spotted looking at engagement rings at several jewelry stores? That IC spent Valentine’s Day taking RV all over the place, country-hopping and trying to impress her? That whenever DG is upset these days, it’s CW she runs to? (First last week, then when she was sick, and yet again today...)

Overseen

“He was with the bitchy bartender. I don't like her. She's a fucking bitch.” -KeB to DG (re: DaM and AJ)

“DaM never said anything to me. Not even on Valentine's Day. Next thing I know, that Gossip Witch slag is accusing me of all of this shite with CW and DaM ended up at the bar with that AJ bitch despite her having verbally torn me apart last week.” -DG “DaM is either incredibly passive aggressive or just plain thick. Either way, at this point I say he's the one who needs to apologize for ignoring you on Valentine's Day regardless of what you're fighting about.” -PP

“DaM laughs when AJ comes back looking for her job but it's already filled by someone who IS worth a shit. And has big tits. Sorry, bigger.” -DaM “Did you just comment on the size of my tits? That's so unprofessional. Pervert.” -AJ “I know, I'm such a perve.” -DaM

“CW's cock is overrated
He thinks it keeps all the girls sated
But his size has been misstated
And the girls hate that they've been bated
Then they leave his bed vacated
And poor CW Jr will be deflated.” -DaM

“He needs a nanny. A) to take care of Evie and B) to bang, cause as the delightful poetry above dictates ... he's not gettin' any.” -AP “He has one, actually. Cute little blonde thing from what I hear.” -MF “What the fuck. DaM! You jackass. Is that not part of the nanny job description?” -AP

“What about your nanny? That's what AP and MF and I've come up with. Little Ms. LM. You could probably teach her a few things.” -CW “I don't do the employees. Well, anymore. Learned that mistake recently. Bad idea. Plus even if I did, that sounds like too much work. I work too much, I don't need to spend forever teaching shite.” -DaM “You're not the tiniest bit intrigued by the thought of your Nanny?” -CW “Hey. Just because I'm trying to set some guidelines doesn't make me blind. Have you seen her legs? Salazar.” -DaM

“Keeley's the sort to wear short skirts with no knickers so it feels like less of a surprise from her that she would do something silly.” -MB

“I'm sorry for not throwing all of my issues to the side and focusing completely on you and yours like you've so clearly done for me. But here, let me give it a try: DaM darling! Despite the fact that I'm spewing out my insides every ten minutes or so in a rather violent fashion, I so look forward to coming into the office tomorrow so that I can get on my knees and grovel and beg for your forgiveness for not only getting sick, but for hanging out with my friends.” -DG

I'd like to offer my congratulations to the newest newlyweds on the scene:

Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Clint & Keeley Warrington!

The couple was married in a spectacular ceremony last night (not that they remember!), with a reception later on, in the Thames River. The bride wore a rather large wedding dress, stylist unknown, alterations later performed by the groom and a pair of scissors. The groom wore a dashing tux, alterations later made by, er, the Thames River. The couple retreated home after the ceremony to the groom's home, and an assuredly unmemorable wedding night.

I'm sure you'd all love to send your congratulations! As such, gifts and cards should definitely be owled to the bride, Keeley Bundy Warrington, or the groom, Clint Warrington. And if your owl needs more specifics, I'm sure the Puddlemere or Falmouth facilities would suffice!

Congratulations, again, to the happy couple! You made one spectacular drunken match.

Hot Hookups

CR is back in town (much to TD's dismay), and she hasn't wasted time jumping right back into the dating scene. Her current person of interest is a bit surprising, though, give their differences in background... after all, CR is a rich pureblood 'socialite' Slytherin and DR is a muggleborn Gryffindor broom racer... Of course, this might be more dramatic if either of them knew about the others background. Well the cats out of the bag now!

AG caused quite a stir this week when he called RV a whore over the journals. Rather hypocritical considering the source, wouldn't you say? After all, not only is AG shagging SmF, but he's also rekindling a romance with his former lover, SD! Two men at the same time? Tsk tsk, AG! I believe that's a case of the pot calling the kettle black!

Couples News

The newest couple on the scene is almost too syrupy sweet for words. AB, newest Chaser for the sinking ship that is Puddlemere United, started dating SP, the starlette of Muggle and Wizarding musical theatre. Seeing as how neither of them have ever really managed to hold a relationship, I can't make any promises for how long this will last... but a relationship that starts off with snogging on a sofa has... potential?

If you want to talk about people jumping into relationships, than the obvious perfect example is OW and LB. We all know how they both jumped into their relationship on the rebound, and how LB moved in with him two days after they got together... but in even more shocking news, the couples fast milestone jumping hasn't stopped yet. Not only has OW asked LB to legally become the mother of his daughter (after less than two months!), he's also been seen shopping at jewelry stores! Seems like OW is so determined to find himself a family, he's just going to make do with whatever he's got and try and make it stick. And LB, who we've all heard the gold digger rumors about before, surely doesn't have any complaints about going along with it...

Speaking of complaints, there are a few people who do have a thing or two to say about RV's new relationship with rock star IC, and not just AG. Her own parents sat her down for a long talk recently about how disappointed they were that she was dating a rock star and how they were sure he was going to corrupt their precious baby girl. That doesn't seem to have stopped RV, though. I wonder what her parents would think of the fact that she's spending almost every night at IC's place?

GW Exclusive

Let's take a moment to talk about one complicated mess of a love... rectangle? I can't even count how many sides there are to this thing. Now we all know that CW used to be involved with TD (who is now dating HJ) and that her good friend DG is dating DaM (who is also CW's friend). Sounds simple, right? Except when you take into account that CW recently went off to Spain with DG as his date. TD and DaM didn't seem to be pleased when they just heard about the trip over the journals... I can't imagine either of them (but especially DaM) would have liked seeing how cozy DG and CW were getting on their trip. These two can claim to be friends all they want, but the way they were dancing the other night coupled with their near-constant physical contact, didn't look a thing like 'just friends' to me. Of course, they were joined in Spain by MF and KB, but those two couldn't keep their hands to themselves long enough to be chaperoned of any sort. (Oh and as a little last minute addition... did I mention that CW sent DG flowers and a pearl bracelet as a little V-day gift?)

Did You Know...?

That AS, MF and OW have accepted positions as the Captains for the Welsh, British and Scottish National Teams (respectively)? That LT on the other hand, recently lost a promotion at St Mungos? (If you're wondering why, LT, you might want to take a look at the fact that the girl you lost to has much better 'status' than you do...) That MF told AJ he wouldn't care if she killed herself? That SD actually thinks he can make the Cannons a good team? (Rumor has it he's going to fire half the squad... if he can find anyone crazy enough to take their places.) That CV is not-so-slowly going crazy? (Bets on how long before he finally just snaps and gets it over with?)

Spotted

Oh, and speaking of surprising Valentine's gifts... PB might be pleased about having gotten flowers from her husband MB... but would she be as pleased to know that MB was seen sending a gift to his mistress LT as well? Doesn't feel so special now, does it?

TY and MB looking not so pleased coming out of dinner with their Grandfather's. Looks like he's deciding to start cracking the whip about those two old maids finally getting hitched.

JC heading over to PP's place to 'make some music' together. I wonder if these two have decided to rekindle their old flame?

Overseen

"Warrington's been a pretty exceptional friend to me. No back stabbing at all. Must just be something wrong with you." -DG "Or he's just trying to get into your pants still. There's a grace period with him, he only turns into an arse after he's gotten what he wants." -TD "Thanks. Real nice. Enjoy your life, TD. I've clearly gotten what I want from you. So this is me, being an arse. Stay the fuck out of my life." -CW

"Bell's my backup Chaser. I'm good." -MF "Aw, doesn't that make her like a reserve chaser? Not even good enough to make starter on your team? Sounds like a poor substitute to me!" -TD

"Really? Because I planned on drinking myself into a coma for the evening. I learned how to do that from my mother, you know. It's a Greengrass gift. And it sounds perfectly thrilling. Any other night and you know I'd take you up on your offer, but as I'm sure you can clearly see, I'm in an awful mood." -DG "It doesn't sound thrilling to me at all. It sounds like wallowing in pity, and I can think of plenty of better things a girl as amazing as you could be doing. But if it's what you'd rather do, then fine." -DaM

"I'm probably just going to spend my evening drinking until I fall asleep. Or 'wallowing in pity'. Apparently that's what it's called." -DG "Come over. And you don't wallow. You're too gorgeous to wallow." -CW

"You can always hang out with me. I won't even throw myself at you like an idiot this time." -AJ "You're not an idiot, AJ." -ChW

"RV is a blood sucking whore who likes to sleep around and has to drug people to do it." -AG

Hot Hookups

Though AG was obviously all worked up about IC ‘abandoning’ him this past weekend, it looks like he had no problem finding a way to work out all that pent up energy. He and SmF were all over one another barely minutes after AG came into the bar SmF lives under. Luckily for the other bar patrons, the pair headed up to SmF’s flat before things became too racy… and trust me, they certainly did, and for much of the night…

Couples News

TD finally got wanted she’s wanted for ages this week when HJ decided to make it official with a boyfriend/girlfriend title. But here’s a little secret you might find interesting… did you know that the pair has yet to ‘make it official’ in the bedroom. TD can act like she’s trying to be ‘good’ but all anyone has to do is take a look at her reputation to know how unlikely that is. So is the truth that she’s really putting off sleeping with Hugh on the off chance that CW might change his mind and let her come crawling back to him…?

Hunky rockstar IC can have his pick of any witch (or wizard) in the world, pretty much… but what no one knows is that he’s recently made things official with someone as well, and it’s the last person anyone would expect in ‘naïve’ and ‘innocent’ little school teacher RV. Of course, maybe the choice isn’t quite so ‘shocking’… maybe AG is right, and the only reason IC is with RV is because he’s under the influence. It certainly wouldn’t be the first (or second, or third) time that RV has used a love potion to get what- or rather who- she wanted.

With his father’s recent passing, AP is now the head of his very old and prominent family. But now that he’s in charge, is AP having second thoughts about his fiancee LQ? After all, a halfblood poptart with a complete lack of manners and a penchant for losing clothes isn’t exactly Pureblood Wife material... And now that he’s the head of his family, it would be a breeze for AP to find himself a nice biddable pureblood woman to wed...

Did You Know...?

That GgW is furious over finding out that his ex AJ shagged his older brother ChW? (Both AJ and ChW swear they aren’t going to fool around again, but I’ve got bets on how long that lasts, and I doubt it’ll be long, especially with how AJ was going on to LQ that she really liked ChW!) That CM and BD are getting serious enough that CM is actually willing to take her out on a date in public? (And here I thought he was too embarrassed to be seen with her!) That the real reason AG is so upset about IC and RV dating is that he’s in love with IC himself and just doesn’t want to share? That OW’s baby mama is back in town and not at all pleased that OW is letting LB (who he barely knows) raise his daughter? (Rumor has it she’s going to take him to court to get her daughter back!) That PB asked her husband MiB to ditch his mistress LT so that husband and wife can start on having a baby, but MiB has no intention of actually dropping his mistress? (He was even seen with her just last night, the pair getting very close while picking up dinner together before heading back to LT’s flat... Though you know, with the way PB has been flirting with MF on the journals, she’s one to complain...)

Spotted

AJ making enemies of nearly every single one of her friends this week by lashing out at all of them over the tiniest things.

MF with a curvy blond in his lap (not his girlfriend KB) when he and CW visited Bletchley’s recently.

GgW visiting his twin brother’s grave after finding out about AJ and ChW

ChW talking about getting in on a threesome with JS and DR.

SD returned ‘from the dead’ (aka Romania, apparently) after eight years... and AG looking incredibly upset to find out that his former boyfriend barely remembers him...

Overseen

“...can't tell me you and MF wouldn't get completely turned on watching KB and I flirt.” -JS “Probably get her drunk enough and she'd try anything. And I'd certainly get turned on. Kinda turned on now, thinking about it.” -CW “It's almost making me want to give it a try, even though I doubt we could get her into it.” -JS “You and Bell in a snog session would be pretty hot. Not sure but it'd be as amusing as fuck to watch her flounder about with that pretty mouth of hers and all that fucking shite.” -CW

“The thought of you sleeping with your whore then sleeping with me is repulsive. So if you ever want to start trying for a child, then you need to get rid of her.” -PB

“Shall I save Verity's number for you ... you know, just in case we split?” -GgW “eh, she isn't really my type.” -ChW

“You slept with my brother. Then again my brother slept with you. I'm not entirely sure which one is more of a slap in the face.” -GgW “But if you're going to be angry at one of us more than the other.. be angry at me. I should have left.” -AJ “I'm angry at both of you. Being drunk is an excuse, nothing more.” -GgW

“I just... look, don't laugh, okay? But the other night a week or so ago, I had this dream. We were at this house in France that was ours, and AP and I were sitting side by side on a porch swing and there was this big green lawn out in front of the house, and the dogs were all grown up and running around playing with... and so help me Merlin you'd better not laugh or tell anyone and I hope to Godric that Gossip Bint doesn't print this, but the dogs were running around with... two little blond-haired girls. And please don't make me explain just who those girls were, I think it's pretty obvious.” -LQ to KB (You know it’s kind of a challenge, darling, when you pray that I don’t print something...)

“I'm convinced I was never meant to marry a Gryffindor.” -MB

“He's a dick. He always will be. I hope you enjoy it because if he keeps treating your friends like this you're going to end up very alone with only MF for company.” -AJ to KB

“Stop being such a dramatic little brat. We all know you're going through a lot of shit, but really? You didn't exactly shy away from some of this. YOU slept with MF. Sorry you got pregnant and I know you lost the baby.. but you never even acted like you wanted the kid! And I know your father died, but you didn't know him. I've lost a father. And a mother. Shit happens. And if you're going to tell one of your close friends goodbye because they point out the obvious fact that your boyfriend is a dick you really, really need to get over yourself. I'm going to work. I don't feel bad for you. Stop feeling bad for yourself.” -AJ to KB

Hot Hookups

Funny how half the hookups seem to involve a certain slytherbitch this week... although maybe not so surprising. After all, since TD was dumped by CW just two weeks ago on her birthday, it seems she’s made a point of bouncing right back into things. Except this rebound girl isn’t just rebounding with one bloke, she’s on a roll. First it was CV, who she invited over for a belated birthday shag (which ended not-so-nicely for CV in a broken nose), but now TD has moved on to a new and surprising choice in HJ. For whatever reason, she seems to be taking it slower with him, but he shouldn’t get his hopes up... it’s obvious that with TD, it’s nothing more than a chance for her to slum it a bit and get what she wants before she casts him aside the same way she usually does the men in her life.

Workplace romance seems to be the in thing this week. First TY and GU continued their little workplace flirtation this week with a lunch together, one that was heavy on the flirting- or at least their stuffy version of it. Then it seems like CW plans to move on from his recent breakup by fooling around with the newest member of the Falcon’s staff, PR Manager PR. The pair got coffee together late one night, and the dinner another night, where CW was seen quite openly admiring PR’s ‘assets’. Seems this pair weren’t listening when DaM informed both of his semi-newly-acquired employees of his no-fraternizing policy... or maybe they just don’t care? PR certainly can’t think it’s good for her or the team’s reputation...

Couples News

Let’s check in on a certain little Love Rectangle in this week’s Couple’s News section. On the outside, things seemed all sunshine and roses this week for OW & LB, when OW built LB her own closet to make her feel more at home, and also for MF and KB, when MF finally decided he wanted to make things official. But let’s not forget the little history between OW and KB that’s making this into a complicated little rectangle. I mean, it’s hard enough on a relationship when you’re working with your former lover of five years, but even more so when you’re sneaking out after work for ‘dinner and drinks’.... MF and LB can’t be too amused. But hey, I bet I can think of a fun way for those two to ‘get revenge’ and make this love rectangle even more complex...

GW Exclusive

The GW Exclusive is back this week with a hot bit of news to dish out. Everyone know that former star Harpies player AJ is out of the sport due to a recent injury. But here’s the news you don’t know. Not only did AJ cheat during her last season to help the Harpies win games, but she’s about to have charges brought against her by the British/Irish League and the Department of Magical Games and Sports! Naughty naughty, AJ!

Did You Know...?

That PB and MiB have been told by their respective families that they’re to produce and heir, and they’re going to comply even though neither of them want to have a child together? That CC says she’s dating NS, but it’s really only to throw off her parents and to make her ex MC jealous? That CW got his head bashed in with that bludger because he was drunk at practice? That CM is leaving Puddlemere to transfer to the Falcons and that AS’s title as Captain is at risk because the team’s owner doesn’t trust her anymore to hold together the team? (And I'm sure it doesn't help that not only has KB left but she's also trying to ruin PU's chances by convincing their other players to leave?) That AP’s father recently passed away, leaving him the head of the family and that he’s considering leaving the Falcons to run the family businesses full time?

Spotted

AJ and a drunken ChW heading back to the Burrow together after AJ's first night at the QP; it seems AJ decided to take matters into her own hands when it came to her little 'fixation' on a certain red-haired family...

RV taking matters into her own hands by busting into CW’s flat to have a ‘talk’ with him about his ‘feelings’ for TD.

SC and LL getting completely high off the marijuana that SC grows in their garden.

ChW and JS getting very close at the Fantastic Beast before JS took ChW back to her place for more private fun.

KT ‘calming down’ MaB several times this week... with shags, of course.

AJ getting snippy with KB and AS, who she’s still angry at for last week.

Overheard

"Not like it even matters, right? I could leave and I'm sure you'd have someone like KeB or JS in your bed before I even made it home." -AJ to ChW

“I would have rather been with you.” -KB “So every time that you can't be with me you're going to go out and have dinner and drinks with Wood?” -MF

“You up for drinks or something tomorrow?” -CW “I'm pretty sure I can do that. I don't have anything planned for tomorrow evening.” -PR “It's a date. See you then.” -CW

“Sounds like someone's found a new toy.” -PP to TD

“You know, I've never had a black man before, HJ” -AJ “You know, that's kind of surprising, Ant.” -HJ “You enjoy sex? I believe that's really all you need to make it fun.” -AG “Well, yes, obviously.” -HJ

“Is anyone missing their knickers?” -MC “They're totally mine. You said you wouldn't tell anyone!” -HJ

"You'd be crazy to turn them down. I know AS will hate me for telling you that but I think she'd understand. The FALCONS, CM. THE FALCONS! " -KB

“Have you already eaten? I can order something to have ready for you when you get here if you'd like.” -LT “I'm in the mood for you.” -MiB “I can definitely have that ready and waiting for you.” -LT

“I don't think I would even fit in her flat. I'd feel like a giant.” -HJ “Oh? Are you very large, then?” -TD “Yes, yes I am.” -HJ

“I don't want to think about that. I get panic attacks when I think about it too much.” -PB “I miss being pregnant...” -KB

“I think you're the only one of my friends left talking to me at the moment.” -KB “Wait. What? Why aren't people talking to you?!” -AS “I don't know. I haven't talked to LQ in like a week and AJ is... well, after what we said and all.” -KB “Oh. Fuck. I forgot that whole thing with AJ got put in the column. AND I FORGOT LQ AND I FOUGHT. Holy fuck. You and KeB are probably my only friends right now. Huh. I should like, work on apologies or something.” -AS

Hot Hookups

Unresolved sexual tension alert! This pair didn't actually hook up, but I definitely thought sparks were flying when blond ambition (TY) met up with tall dark and ambitious GU outside the Minister's office last night. Do I sense a potential office romance somewhere in the future?

Really at this point it's more an obvious pronouncement than anything else, but KT came to MB's 'rescue' when she had a panic attack on the journals recently. Because obviously, the cure for a panic attack is a nice shag, right?

Couples News

So I'm sure by now you've all heard the news that CW finally got around to dumping TD; after all, it's hard to miss TD's drunken whining all over the journals, or the fact that CW is flirting with any woman he comes across (although that's not much of a change). But here's something you- and apparently everyone else- probably didn't know. CW actually dumped TD on her birthday! Yes, that's right! Happy birthday to TD, you're single! Not only that, but no one even remembered TD's birthday, not her ex or any of her friends. Bet she's feeling really special right about now. Oh and TD, I thought I'd give you a little birthday present! How about... a nice mental image: CW and KeB in the bar last night, unable to keep their hands off one another, celebrating his new-found single status... Would you like some cake with that, love?

Both OW & LB and KB & MF have been getting very cozy as 'couples' lately (sorry, MF, does the title bother you less if I put quotations around it?), but there's a little 'business' relationship that threatens to drive a wedge between both couples. Now that OW and KB are teammates, they're spending quite a bit of time together. More, actually, than is necessary, from what I've heard. Going in early, staying after late... With all that time together and all that history, I'd be worried if I was MF or LB. Especially if I was MF, given KB's little speech about just how 'worked up' Quidditch gets her...

Did You Know...?

That CW walked in on KB and MF shagging? (I'm surprised he didn't try to join in, since he and MF have talked several times about how much they'd love to have a threesome with her. Nice to know your bloke wants to share, isn't it KB?) That DaM is determined to steal CM from Puddlemere to fill his starting keeper position, no matter what the price? (And the Falcons must be looking even more like prime real estate now that Puddlemere has lost their best chaser...) That CV spent an entire week in muggle jail for theft? That CC supposedly left her job at Gringotts because she got offered a new job at St. Mungo's, but the real reason is that she was stealing from Gringott's and nearly got caught? That MB claims to be all purist to the core, but she actually once 'dated' a halfblood Hufflepuff?

Spotted

AJ and CW getting heated over drinks (and not in the good sort of hot and heavy way). And then a few days later, AJ's friends KB and AS were spotted taking great pleasure in teasing AJ about her 'Weasley fetish' and then bitching behind her back about how annoying her temper was.

MF and CW regaling each other with quite literally disgusting stories of what they've done with the hired help... this entire discussion inspired by innocent little LaM.

Overheard

"Your girlfriend has a very nice set of tits." -CW "Not my girlfriend. But she does, doesn't she? I certainly never would have guessed." -MF "Not your girlfriend, my hairy arse. " -CW "Her crazy pisses me the fuck off." -MF

"I should have tried harder to get CM to leave Puddlemere, I still say he'd be a good fit." -DaM "Is it too late for CM? Maybe now with the loss of Bell, he'll see that Puddlemere stands even less of a chance against us this season." -MF

"I think it's upsetting her, us saying she has a thing for Weasleys." -LQ "AJ is upset over everything these days. Besides, she says upsetting things all the time. Don't dish it if you can't take it?" -KB "Agreed." -AS

"Cute little nanny. Isn't that every Slytherin males fantasy? I slept with my nanny when I was fifteen." -CW "You lucky bastard." -MF "You never shagged your nanny? Fuck me. I'm shocked. Mine was this lovely twenty year old red-head. Tall and lithe." -CW "Shagging the help seems dirty. They're the help. If they were worth your time, they'd be doing something more distinguished with their life." -MF "Slumming it can be fun. Besides. They were helping me get off. Probably the best thing she did with her life..." -CW

"You know you secretly root for me." -KB "This is me nodding emphatically and not at all making any other suspicious facial expressions." -LQ "Our fifteen year friendship trumps you and my brother. Besides. He just trains them." -KB

"TD. Seriously? You're fucking better than this and you know it. Since when does your happiness depend on a guy?" -MF "i dunno. am i? i love him and he doesnt want me. it hurts to not be enough for someone, to not be wanted, ever." -TD

"I hate everyone who gets to fly. Isn't that horrible of me?" -AJ "It isn't horrible of you at all, AJ. I understand. I'd feel the same way in your situation." -LQ

"Should I even ask what you were in jail for?" -LT "A small, little case of mistaken identity. It got sorted out eventually." -CV