InsaneJournal

Guys I know some of you aren't excited about parents and shit BUT I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT PARENTS AND SHIT.

[Warded to Susana, Micah, Calvin, and Ennis]

Hey bros of Cole. It's time for real talk.

It has come to my attention that he has completely gone batshit and lost his mind and likes freaking CORALEE MOTHERFUCKING WONG which we all know is just about the worst thing ever for a little sweet weird kid like Cole.

So I think we should save him from the evil clutches of stupid Coralee. Like, for reals save him because this is ridiculous. It’s time for the Cole A. Moss Preservation Squad (CAMPS)!! We’re gonna get him away from evil and in bed (Figuratively. Maybe.) with someone much nicer! As first plan, I propose we make him kiss everyone he knows until he figures out who he likes that isn’t evil! It’s a pretty quick way to get this crap sorted that doesn’t require finesse or whatever. That way we can just all pretend this didn’t happen and Coralee can go back to making freshman miserable and leave Cole alone.

She sent him MACAROONS for christ's sake! She’s up to some evil shit. We’ve got to get going on this fast.

You guys know him way better than me so this’ll obviously go smoother if you help, but honestly I’m gonna do this crap whether you guys want to help or not because this is insane and he is just going to get trampled and that is NOT OK.

[…]

Side note I don’t know if his middle name actually starts with an A but CMPS is just dumb so it’s close enough anyways.

Other side note the team name is technically up for debate but I think it's pretty solid.

[OOC: Hilariously I didn't know his middle name actually does start with an A when I made this up. Happy coincidences!]