InsaneJournal

This is EXTREMELY irrelevant, but after I hit send I didn't want to be alone with it, so please enjoy this email I just sent to my professor.



Hey Dr. 🐝,

I submitted my assessment portfolio on Blackboard (kinda). I haven't finished the essay portion yet, but if I promise to make it super interesting maybe you can read it on your kindle while sipping hot cocoa in front of a Yule Tide fire tonight? Because I know grading assessment theory is exactly how you'd like to spend your holiday break. (Ha ha! ... please tell me you're laughing).

But, actually, in all seriousness, I wanted to thank you for being so patient with me this semester. Digging myself out of a post-break up slump, only to be dropkicked back into a post-election pit of despair has been a lesson in tenacity, if nothing else. I completely understand if noon is a hard deadline and I'll gratefully accept my grade without the essay portion. If that grade happens not to be passing, I'll see you in Secondary Assessments next semester. And by Jove, I'll be HAPPY about it.

In either case, I'll send you the essay portion by tonight. You can read it if you want or you can print it out, crumple it into a ball, and Dikembe Mutombo it as far away from you as possible. Either way!

Anywho, I should probably stop wasting my time trying to appease you with humor and get back to work. See ya around, Teach.

Best,
Colleen

P.S. - Please enjoy this very accurate depiction of the inside of my brain.





You don't go to Gooseberry, Aleena! You can't behave this way!