Faye Brown (hardrockcafaye) wrote in freedomtownic, @ 2020-11-06 00:59:00 |
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Entry tags: | katie montes (katiemontes), queen barb (queen_of_rock), rhiannon day (_rhiannon_), ~faye brown (hardrockcafaye) |
I know my birthday was over a week ago by now, but I've been doing a lot of thinking about the fact I'm 30. This obviously isn't where I pictured myself being at 30: a washed-up freelance musician who's literally waiting until Universal Idol holds auditions again just so I can get a shot at redemption. Watching a bunch of people I once thought were clearly fictional sing their hearts out every week, while I go from bar to bar every couple of nights and waste my liver away after playing around with my guitars for a few hours while everyone watches sports or literally anything else.
When I was about 5, I thought I'd be opening for Anthrax by the time I was 30. Yeah, it was a bit too lofty of a goal, but I've never ever been one to half-ass music. That said, I thought I'd have more than two albums back home that were overall lukewarm in sales which I can't even fully say are mine now. I thought I'd have someone waiting for me back home whenever I came back there who didn't nearly beat me because they couldn't separate the wrestling ring from the apartment.
I thought I'd have more in my life and career by the time I hit my 30s.
Sorry for the pity-party, I'm not usually like this, but I just had to get this out there.