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Freya Dillinger ([info]raz0r) wrote in [info]freedomtownic,
@ 2019-08-11 21:20:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:abby hammond (try2loopmein), freya dillinger (raz0r), ~penny st claire (vivacite)

Sometimes, it almost feels like you're gonna be able to be normal. Live like most people live.

But eventually, you break down, or your paranoia gets the better of you, or you feel the world closing in around you, and it reminds you you'll never be normal. That they broke you, permanently, no matter if you got away from them or not.


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[info]raz0r
2019-08-12 02:16 am UTC (link)
I have an overprotective, occasionally violent alien symbiote bonded to me.

And you make me think about the kinda things they make late night Cinemax movies about. Sorry. That was like... the only not-crass way I could think of to say it.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]vivacite
2019-08-12 03:04 am UTC (link)
There's no reason to apologize. I did ask.

The symbiote, that was something that was done to you?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]raz0r
2019-08-12 03:07 am UTC (link)
Yes. I was part of a government experiment to bond symbiotes to mutants.

I escaped, alive and mostly sane. I was the lucky one.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]vivacite
2019-08-12 03:13 am UTC (link)
Non-voluntary, I assume.

I'm still here for you to talk to any time. I haven't gone through the same horrors you have, but I do know what it's like to feel broken and not good enough.

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[info]raz0r
2019-08-12 03:14 am UTC (link)
Every time I feel free... like I can finally live my life... everything closes around me like a compactor. I can go anywhere on this planet that I want... and yet I'm curled in a ball in the corner of my bedroom right now.

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[info]vivacite
2019-08-12 03:18 am UTC (link)
This is a bad moment. It's not everything. You shouldn't discount the progress you've made here. Everyone heals at different speeds.

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[info]raz0r
2019-08-12 03:36 am UTC (link)
I think what's so frustrating is that it keeps feeling like I'm healing. And I start to feel happy, relieved... then everything bottoms out and it's back to the starting line again.

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[info]vivacite
2019-08-12 03:46 am UTC (link)
It is frustrating, and when you're down there at the bottom it can feel especially hopeless. I think this is natural with the healing process, though. At least it has been for me. It's sort of a two steps forward, one step backward kind of situation.

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[info]raz0r
2019-08-12 03:46 am UTC (link)
Whatever you went through... are you healing here?

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[info]vivacite
2019-08-12 03:52 am UTC (link)
I am. Some days are better than others. Just like you.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]raz0r
2019-08-12 03:53 am UTC (link)
How do you get through it?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]vivacite
2019-08-12 03:57 am UTC (link)
Therapy, music, and a lot of help from my loved ones.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

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