InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I have iconitis. Woe."

Freya Dillinger (raz0r) wrote in freedomtownic,
@ 2019-08-11 21:20:00

Entry tags:

abby hammond (try2loopmein), freya dillinger (raz0r), ~penny st claire (vivacite)

Sometimes, it almost feels like you're gonna be able to be normal. Live like most people live.

But eventually, you break down, or your paranoia gets the better of you, or you feel the world closing in around you, and it reminds you you'll never be normal. That they broke you, permanently, no matter if you got away from them or not.

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	vivacite 2019-08-12 01:47 am UTC (link)
	I know we've only just met, but if you need a friend to talk to. I'd be happy to be a shoulder for you to lean on. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	raz0r 2019-08-12 01:51 am UTC (link)
	I feel like if you knew what I was (or knew the things you make me think about), you might not be so inviting. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	vivacite 2019-08-12 02:12 am UTC (link)
	Why don't you let me make that decision. You might be surprised. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	raz0r 2019-08-12 02:16 am UTC (link)
	I have an overprotective, occasionally violent alien symbiote bonded to me. And you make me think about the kinda things they make late night Cinemax movies about. Sorry. That was like... the only not-crass way I could think of to say it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	vivacite 2019-08-12 03:04 am UTC (link)
	There's no reason to apologize. I did ask. The symbiote, that was something that was done to you? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	raz0r 2019-08-12 03:07 am UTC (link)
	Yes. I was part of a government experiment to bond symbiotes to mutants. I escaped, alive and mostly sane. I was the lucky one. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	vivacite 2019-08-12 03:13 am UTC (link)
	Non-voluntary, I assume. I'm still here for you to talk to any time. I haven't gone through the same horrors you have, but I do know what it's like to feel broken and not good enough. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	raz0r 2019-08-12 03:14 am UTC (link)
	Every time I feel free... like I can finally live my life... everything closes around me like a compactor. I can go anywhere on this planet that I want... and yet I'm curled in a ball in the corner of my bedroom right now. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	vivacite 2019-08-12 03:18 am UTC (link)
	This is a bad moment. It's not everything. You shouldn't discount the progress you've made here. Everyone heals at different speeds. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	raz0r 2019-08-12 03:36 am UTC (link)
	I think what's so frustrating is that it keeps feeling like I'm healing. And I start to feel happy, relieved... then everything bottoms out and it's back to the starting line again. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	vivacite 2019-08-12 03:46 am UTC (link)
	It is frustrating, and when you're down there at the bottom it can feel especially hopeless. I think this is natural with the healing process, though. At least it has been for me. It's sort of a two steps forward, one step backward kind of situation. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	raz0r 2019-08-12 03:46 am UTC (link)
	Whatever you went through... are you healing here? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	vivacite 2019-08-12 03:52 am UTC (link)
	I am. Some days are better than others. Just like you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	raz0r 2019-08-12 03:53 am UTC (link)
	How do you get through it? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	vivacite 2019-08-12 03:57 am UTC (link)
	Therapy, music, and a lot of help from my loved ones. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	try2loopmein 2019-08-12 03:05 am UTC (link)
	Fairly sure that I was just starting to feel like that back home. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	raz0r 2019-08-12 03:07 am UTC (link)
	It's the absolute worst. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	try2loopmein 2019-08-12 04:03 am UTC (link)
	Things started to get better when my parents started being honest with me, but that opened up a whole 'nother box of chaos. (Reply to this) (Parent)