Awful lot of blank pages in this diary. Too many, one might say.
Oh, well … I suppose the Watchers’ Diaries have always been one of the responsibilities that I’ve neglected most, not because I failed to see the point in documenting the progress of my Slayer. I just … forgot.
And I suppose there’s a sort of irony in my writing an entry now that I find myself sans Slayer. Regardless, given what the Council knew of Faith Lehane before she ran into me in Searchlight, Nevada, I feel it necessary to set the record straight a bit, to give the new Council – guided by someone, I grant, who actually dealt with Faith first-hand – a more accurate view of the once-troubled Slayer.
Faith came to me looking for guidance, a startling, if not mature, decision for someone famous for not working well with others – particularly those of us with British accents. But I would imagine the years and occasional Apocalypse had grown on the woman, and she decided it was best if she, for a little while anyway, entrusted a Watcher with her personal and emotional growth. Faith may be in her 30s by now, but I doubt she’s finished maturing.
The other night, she said I gave her what she came to me seeking, and that it was time for us to part. Whereas I lost Kris because I wasn’t doing my job, Faith separated from me because I did exactly as expected. I’m not sure what guidance she was after, or how I helped her achieve it, but I’m glad I was able to help.
I never believed Faith evil or irredeemable, even when the old Council set about trying to kill her. Given the girl’s childhood – and the issues still present from the death of her first Watcher – the path she took in Sunnydale and Los Angeles aren’t entirely surprising, nor was her eventual rehabilitation.
If I ever meet this Angel fellow, I owe him a show of gratitude.
Faith has grown into a capable Slayer and a remarkable young woman – which is not to say her demons are behind her. She must confront them daily; I often saw it in her eyes. We could be sitting in the living room, playing PlayStation3 and drinking beer, and I could still see on her face how those she murdered still haunted her.
Occasionally, I would hear her wake from a restless sleep, undoubtedly dreaming of her past sins.
I daresay Faith’s rehabilitation was a success, and I offer that she is strong enough to fight the temptations even today. She had a hand in the legacy that is Sunnydale; she is partially responsible for the flux of Slayers we now find. And for that, I – and hopefully, the rest of the Council – thank her.
I also thank her for giving me something I’d lacked since Teresa’s death: Closure and peace of mind.
Good luck, Faith. I’ll be sure to give Kathryn your best.
-Corbett Renfroe 22 January 2012, Searchlight, Nevada