Arianna Dumbledore is unsure. (sweetflower) wrote in fourteenshades, |
Arianna blushed lightly but gladly took his arm. She would need his support soon enough, and feeling the strength of his arm beneath her hand calmed her enough to set her thoughts in order. She gently pointed them in the direction of what could be a garden. She would ask the founders for permission to plant there. "I would like to begin by apologising, again, for the way I reacted over the journals. I know you are simply looking out for my well-being, and for that I am highly grateful."
She paused for a moment and breathed slowly before continuing. "I am not the same girl I was when I arrived. I am still the same outwardly, but my mind has shifted." Arianna licked her lips and kept her eyes locked on the ground just before their feet. "When I was a child," she began again slowly, "several Muggle boys caught me using magic. I knew they were in the lane and peeking into the garden. I should not have displayed my powers the way I did, but I was proud of my ability to make flowers grow. I did not expect them to attack me when I joined them in the lane."
Arianna stopped again to regather her composure. She felt dangerously close to tears, and she could not give in to them. To do so would make getting through this impossible. "I do not know what happened exactly in that lane. I remember them throwing stones at me, then my father was carrying me. I know that I hurt them with my magic, and my father took the blame for it." She glanced up at Mister Snape to gauge his reaction, but she did not look long. She was a little frightened of what she would see in his face. "As I have aged," she continued, her voice quieter than it was a moment ago, "I learned to quell my powers. As long as I kept myself distracted and occupied, I did not need to worry about my magic accidentally surfacing. That became more difficult when I reached the age when all young ladies become women." She blushed to be speaking of something so private. "I found it more difficult to contain my emotions, and I became upset one day, over what I cannot recall. My mother died as a result."
Arianna stopped walking and turned to look up at her escort and confidante. Her eyes shone with unshed tears, and she worried about his reaction. Her hand continued to rest on Mister Snape's arm. It was comforting for her to hold it. "I killed my mother," she told him, "and my father died in prison because of my magic. This is why I fear it. This is why I am allowing Miss Helena and her mother to teach me how to set wards and summon water. Anything bigger than that still frightens me." She thought for a moment. "I am different, however. The events of my childhood locked me in my mind. I have often felt crazy. Perhaps I was. Since my arrival in this village, however, my mind has begun to clear. I feel as if I am at an age I was never meant to reach. As if I am suddenly outside the control of fate." She lowered her gaze to her feet. "I must ask you, sir, a question I have been too afraid to ask but one to which I need the answer." She returned her gaze to his face. "At what age do I die?"