sallysays (sallysays) wrote in fourteenshades, @ 2013-07-18 21:34:00 |
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Entry tags: | anthony goldstein, sally ann perks |
Who: Sally Ann and Anthony
What: She's wallowing and needs to come clean.
Where: The pub, where else?
When: Thursday evening
Status: Complete
Sally Ann had never been the most level headed person. Ask anyone, and that was one trait they probably wouldn't bring up right away, or probably not at all rather. Instead she had a nasty habit of internalizing everything and letting it fester beneath the surface until she washed away all of her thinking with a bottle of vodka. Not the best remedy, or the most healthy one by any means, but it worked and that's what mattered. Plus, her lifestyle had been hard drugs and drinking up until a few years ago, and even then she only managed to really let go of one. The other was her crutch, and she used it as often as possible. But lately her need hadn't been as bad, and she attributed that to the fact that she... felt happier. At least, up until halfway through Sunday.
At first, she hadn't even noticed. But when the days started flying past, she noticed something was clearly amiss with her feminine cycle. The only other time in her life this had ever happened was when she was nineteen, and just the very memories it dredged up made her want to get physically ill. She knew logically that she should have just told Ant right when she noticed, but something inside held her back. Maybe it was guilt over that entire situation that was long ago but seemed fresh in her memory, or maybe it was a bit of fear taking over and making her run, but no matter what it was she couldn't bring herself to say anything. Besides, she could be wrong, right? So what was the sense in causing a panic? If only she had been able to talk herself out of that exact same panic she was trying to avoid causing.
And probably most importantly, out of all of this, her craving struck. She wanted nothing more than to get completely annihilated and forget anything was ever bothering her. To be truthful, the more stress and anxiety she felt, the more she wanted it, and the more she wanted it, the more stress and anxiety she felt. It was a vicious circle, and it was keeping her from sleeping or doing anything properly, especially seeming like a human being long enough to be in a room with Ant. Instead she had spend the previous evening and the present one, sitting at the bar and staring at a glass of gin longingly. She knew continually putting herself in this sort of atmosphere was hurting more than it was helping, but old habits died hard. And the addict in her just couldn't seem to let go. It was literally driving her crazy, and on more than one occasion she found herself spinning the glass in her hand, nearly hypnotizing herself into drinking it. But she hadn't cracked yet, and truth be told she didn't intend too. She just needed to be near it, or something. She didn't even understand the urge herself, and she knew the entire predicament just made her look pathetic and weak. But maybe she was. After all, look at her life? Addict, criminal, stripper. Her life choices didn't exactly inspire confidence in her overall abilities.
Sighing to herself, she continued to stare into the glass blankly, wondering how much longer she should sit here before returning home. That was, if she gathered up the courage to do that either. Merlin, she was piece of work. Once again, she questioned how any of the people here... Mike, Anthony, Tonks, Draco, anyone could put up with her. It was just as big of a mystery as the existence of a magical village outside of time. Either way she nearly whimpered at her glass before putting down the money she owed and debating whether or not she was going home, or wanted to sit longer and quietly torture herself. But more importantly, she really had to figure out what in the hell to do next.