peter pettigrew (rattingdidnt) wrote in flippedrpg, @ 2012-09-25 19:27:00 |
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Entry tags: | ch: squib: peter pettigrew, ch: squib: sirius black, p: annalisa, p: silyara |
Who: Sirius & Peter (baby)
What: talking, reaffirming their friendship, all that good stuff :'D
When: Tuesday evening
Where: Peter's room, Omicron block.
Warnings: TBD
A lot of the changes in Peter's perspective had been gradual. The most recent one, however, was sharp and easy to pinpoint. The first time he'd woken up to the pensieve, he hadn't been at all sure what to choose, but had picked the fear landscape at random; it had turned out to be the best decision he'd made in a long time. He was unsurprised to find that most of his fears were related to himself. Not all of them, of course-- he'd also met Tuni multiple times in the landscape, and he had fears relating to his friends and his children as well-- but the hardest ones were the versions of him. He'd faced off with Evil Peter, Perfect Husband Peter and Cowardly Peter, and then this morning he'd met a new one entirely: a version of himself who was strong and imperfect and good at heart, but friendless.
It was no longer that he was afraid of being alone. He had become independent enough that he was afraid of taking it too far and isolating himself from the people who had cared about him back home, and it had been rather a shock to realize that in a way, he'd already done just that. When he'd tried to remember the last time he'd had a really good conversation with Sirius, he couldn't think when it had happened. That was disconcerting, because the only person he'd been trying to distance himself from was Tuni, so that he wasn't carrying her around with him like a weight holding him back.
He did think that he had changed too much for his marriage to function. Maybe more importantly, he no longer really wanted a relationship of the sort he'd had with Petunia. Maybe if she was here, they could work on that, but she wasn't-- and Peter was starting to feel content with that, too. This was a new life, a fresh start. He could pick and choose the things that were important to him: the things he wanted to keep, and the things he wanted to leave behind. He still wanted Juni, and he found that he really missed his other children as well, although he was a little afraid that they might not be so willing to accept the changes that their dad had gone through.
And he wanted Sirius back. He wanted to find a new common ground with his old friend, one that didn't shut out their history but allowed him room to change. Thankfully, friendship left more room for that than marriage. Tuni was unlikely to like it very much if Peter wanted to jump on couches and play air guitar rather than cater to her, but Sirius was capable of handling friendships with more confident people. Peter knew he was, because he'd been best mates with James, even better best mates than Peter had been to either of them. Old Peter was aware of his position in that hierarchy and found comfort in its existence; now he didn't feel that he belonged there anymore. But that didn't mean that he and Sirius couldn't get along. They just had to figure out how.
They traipsed back to Peter's room with the drinks, and Peter got out his half-finished guitar before settling onto the couch. He set his drink on the table and ran his fingers lightly over the instrument: it was weirdly shaped and blobby looking, with an overly long neck that didn't yet have any strings. "I haven't gotten the strings right yet," he said, "They keep breaking. But anyway, here she is."